


As The Clock Ticks Down

by heartsdesire456



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Future Fic, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Major Illness, No Character Death, Road Trips, Romance, Sexual Content, Travel, post 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 21:57:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It was a strange feeling, knowing he was going to die. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Stiles couldn’t really wrap his head around the idea that he might not even live to see eighteen. </i>
</p><p>When Stiles discovers that he has stage IV metastatic melanoma, he knows the prognosis is grim. After the start of the best summer of his teen years now that Beacon Hills is peaceful and he and his friends are free from fear, the decision to have a short while longer to live healthy rather than suffer through treatments that would only prolong his life a short while is an easy one. His decision not to tell his father until the end is near is also an easy one. When Derek finds out Stiles is dying and offers to help Stiles enjoy what time he has left, Stiles makes another easy decision to take Derek up on his offer and together they set out on a road trip for one last adventure.</p><p>Even if the adventure they share isn't the one they planned for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Diagnosis

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [As The Clock Ticks Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5081023) by [Bruniblondi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bruniblondi/pseuds/Bruniblondi)



> I don't usually write chaptered fics. I haven't written one since 2011, actually.
> 
> However, I wanted to try something new with this one and it's so well separated into parts that I figured 'why not'? I started writing at a horrible time! (I have a final Monday and a seminar paper due Thursday!!!) However, I have no doubt this fic will come along pretty quickly. I'll post chapters as I finish them, so don't be surprised if there is more than one update in a 24-hour period. 
> 
> WARNING: this fic will hurt. A lot. There will be additional warnings in the end notes but all you really need to know is that this fic contains a should-be terminal illness, a character that everyone thinks is going to die, but as my tag revealed so it's not a spoiler alert HE DOES NOT DIE! Lots of owwy, no death. For complete notes, see end notes.

“I’m so sorry… but it’s metastasized, Stiles.”

Stiles stared at the results in Melissa’s hands and swallowed hard, shaking his head. He only had one thought, and it was probably the last one anyone would have expected. He looked up at Melissa and then at his doctor and took a quick breath.

“Don’t breathe a word of this to my dad.”

~

Going into the summer after an absolutely horrific junior year without any threats on the horizon was almost a surprising feeling for Stiles. For once everything felt _stable_. Scott was finally taking his alpha duties seriously and learning what all he could from the combined efforts of Derek and Deaton’s teaching. Derek was settling in nicely with the pack after his final return without Cora. Isaac, Scott, and Allison had all settled their difficulties and were getting along well enough. Lydia had finally pulled Danny into the loop after it became too much for him to be left out on. And most of all, Stiles and his dad were at a better place after settling their issues with Stiles taking risks John didn’t want him too. Things in Beacon Hills were finally _Great_.

Stiles shouldn’t have been surprised when this happy, comfortable, _stable_ life took a turn for the worse. 

At first, the only thing Stiles noticed was that he had a slight cough that just wouldn’t go away. He hadn’t been to a doctor in a while, since most of his injuries had been supernatural in origin, so when he went to his doctor about the cough he couldn’t seem to kick no matter how many over the counter cough meds he tried, she immediately prescribed him a prescription strength cough syrup and told him to give it a week or so before coming back if it didn’t work. 

His cough did seem to slack off so he didn’t think anything of it. However, as soon as the medicine ran out, his cough came back. He felt fine otherwise, no real cold symptoms, so he just made do with over the counter meds in higher doses – in spite of knowing it probably wasn’t the best idea – because he didn’t want to waste another happy, _non-terror-filled_ day with a doctor’s visit. It helped enough to take his mind off of his cough so he didn’t worry about it much.

When he started to have trouble catching his breath after running around and playing lacrosse-catch with Scott and Isaac, he started to worry if maybe his cough wasn’t some strange chest cold. He thought about going to the doctor again, but instead he just swapped from cough medication to cold medication. John mentioned Stiles seemed to be a little skinny lately, but Stiles had also hit a growth spurt and grew a whole inch in two months so he didn’t pay much attention to that either, other than to gloat to Derek that he was slightly taller than him now. 

It was also Derek who first noticed what Stiles had missed all along.

~

“Ha!” Stiles threw his arms up. “GOAL!” he cried triumphantly.

Danny rolled his eyes, standing up. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I call foul. Your blocker is a werewolf-“

“So is your defenseman!” Stiles argued, pointing at Isaac.

Derek came up behind Stiles and poked him in the arm. “Stop gloating and get back to your spot,” he said, and started to walk off, then did a double take. “Hey what…” He pulled Stiles towards him and Stiles yelped.

“Hey! What’s with the manhandling?!” he demanded.

Derek touched his neck and then hummed. “I don’t remember there being a mole there. Thought maybe it was dirt, but no. A mole.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow at Derek. “Dude, I’m covered in moles. How would you notice one particular mole?” he asked, rubbing at his neck with a frown. “Wait a minute…” He couldn’t remember a mole in that particular spot on the back of his neck either. “Huh. Weird,” he said, and started to dismiss it as he leaned down, only to freeze when he coughed shortly on his way to pick up his crosse. He stood up quickly and put one hand on the back of his neck, then touched his chest with his other. “Oh fuck,” he muttered, blood running cold.

Derek tensed immediately. “Stiles? What’s wrong?” he asked, lowering his voice and leaning closer. “You’re giving off serious waves of panic, whatever it is, with the adrenaline Scott has pumping right now, it’ll set him off into panicking too, so just take a deep breath and try to calm down-“ Stiles looked up at Derek, meeting his eyes and Derek stopped, seeing the real _fear_ in Stiles’s eyes. “Talk to me,” he muttered.

“Guys? What’s the hold up?” Danny called from the net.

“Stiles!” Scott barked out, jogging over. “Dude, what’s wrong? You smell really freaked out.” He glowered at Derek. “Did you threaten him?” he snapped and Derek held up a hand, shushing him without looking away from Stiles’s eyes.

“Tell me something, Stiles.”

Stiles swallowed hard and looked down, shaking his head. He knelt and picked up his crosse shakily. “No, it’s okay. We’re cool.” Stiles forced a smile. “Let’s keep playing,” he said to Derek, then turned to Scott. “Thought I’d cracked the crosse, that’s all. My dad would kill me if I broke another.”

Scott snorted. “Only you could break a carbon fiber crosse that easily, Stiles. Seriously.”

Stiles went back to playing, but he could tell Derek didn’t believe him for a second with the way he kept looking at him until they finished playing. However, when Derek tried to follow him to talk to him, Stiles hopped in his jeep and took off. He had something more important to do than talk to Derek right now.

~

Stiles knew he couldn’t talk to his dad, but there was one person he could trust to not tell anybody, since she legally wasn’t allowed to talk about what he wanted to tell her.

Stiles went straight to the hospital. He knew Melissa was on shift and he knew she would understand what he was talking about. He stopped long enough to get her a cup of coffee in case he needed an excuse to get past the front desk, but in the end, nobody stopped him on his way. When he got to the nurses’ station where Melissa was most commonly stationed, he was already nearly in tears. She saw him as she glanced up from laughing with her coworker and immediately paled. Stiles forced a smile even though he knew his eyes were glassy. She stood up and walked out to meet him. “Stiles? What’s wrong?” she whispered, catching his elbow.

Stiles shook his head quickly, shaking loose a tear. He handed her the coffee and wiped his face. “Scott’s fine. Everybody’s okay. There isn’t any danger,” he said quickly and she deflated some.

“Okay good.” She looked at him. “But what’s wrong? You’re pale as a sheet. And why are you crying?” she whispered and he bit his lip, fighting a whimper.

He sniffled and looked around. “C-can we talk? Please?” 

She nodded and went to tell her coworker she would be back, then came and hooked her arm through Stiles’s, taking him down the hall. She pulled him into an employee lounge and sat him down on the couch, closing the blinds on the door. “Okay, what’s wrong, Stiles?”

Stiles sniffled, looking up as the fear bubbled to the surface. “I think- I think I have cancer,” he grated out quickly.

She paled and sat down beside him. “Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s probably something you should talk about with your father, not me-“

“I can’t go to my dad and tell him I think I have cancer!” Stiles squawked. “Are you insane?! You were there! You remember what my mom wasting away did to him- what it _still_ does to him!” He shook his head, sniffing. “No. I’m not- I’m not putting him through that. No way.”

She nodded and caught his wildly gesturing hands. “Okay, okay, I see your point.” She looked at him and squeezed his hands. “Tell me everything.”

Stiles nodded. “I’ve- I’ve had a cough for over a month now. It just lingers. I went to the doctor and a prescription strength cough medicine stopped it for a while, but looking back, that could’ve just been the part that suppresses the urge to cough. And- and I have trouble catching my breath sometimes lately.”

She deflated a little. “Oh honey,” she said with a hint of relief. “Stiles, that is no reason to think you might have _cancer_ -“

“No, but I’ve lost weight without eating less. I thought that was just from growing taller. But then today- today I realized there’s a mole on the back of my neck that I haven’t noticed before,” he said, and she stilled.

“Are you sure-“

“I wasn’t, but Derek said it wasn’t there before,” Stiles answered, shaking his head. “I don’t know why he’d notice that, but he pointed it out and I put two and two together. The weight loss, the shortness of breath and the cough, and the spot,” he said tightly. He met her eyes and he knew that she knew he was a walking encyclopedia on cancer. He’d become obsessed once he had unfettered internet access. He’d spent weeks researching everything about all sorts of cancers because, after his mom died, he wanted to understand _why_. He wanted to know why something so terrible happened to people, but instead he had only found more and more horrific forms of the disease that took his mom from him. And he knew more about her disease than any other form out there. “My mom had pancreatic cancer and I know-“

She nodded and answered. “That pancreatic cancer and melanoma can stem from the same gene,” she said weakly.

Stiles’s breath hitched and he whimpered. “And- and the second highest area for metastatic melanoma to spread to, after the brain, is the lungs,” he recited from memory. He looked up and blinked hard. “What- what do I do?” he whispered fearfully. 

She took a calming breath and squeezed his hands. “You come with me right now and we’re going to break some rules and schedule you a biopsy for today,” she said, pulling him too his feet and out of the room.

~

Melissa had Stiles’s biopsy results and a preemptory LDH blood test sneakily labeled ‘rush’ and it took less than a week to get back the results. He spent one week avoiding everyone, in spite of all his friends suddenly seeking him out all hours of the day. When he and Melissa met with his doctor at the hospital to share the results, he was already prepared for the worst, but it didn’t hurt any less to have his doctor give him a sympathetic look as she handed Melissa the results.

“I’m afraid it is melanoma,” Dr. Bennings said to Stiles. “The LDH test suggest it’s spread to the lymphatic system, but until we test further, we can’t know,” she said. “I have to say, I wouldn’t have ordered an LDH test automatically but-“

“But nothing,” Melissa whispered. “As long as my bosses don’t hear about it, Stiles’s tests were worth the trouble.” 

Dr. Bennings sighed in contempt but turned to Stiles. “We’ll need to talk to your father about how to proceed from here.”

Stiles shook his head vehemently. “We’re not involving my dad!”

“Stiles, you’re seventeen, your father is the one who can make legal decisions-“

“And he already watched my mom die of pancreatic cancer!” Stiles argued. “Until we know something definite, I’m not scaring him that way.”

Melissa rubbed his back soothingly. “Stiles’s dad signed a general release a few months ago when Stiles had stitches saying that the hospital has permission to treat Stiles if he’s not there. It’s flimsy, but it’s enough to get a chest x-ray without his dad’s signature as long as you and Stiles both sign for it,” she said to Dr. Bennings. “If anything goes wrong, I’ll take the fall for it,” she said firmly. Stiles started to argue, but one glare shut him up. “Nothing’s going to go wrong though,” she said to Stiles’s doctor. “Now let’s hurry. X-rays can generally be done without scheduling more than half an hour ahead of time. Let’s go.”

Stiles couldn’t help but smile at Melissa McCall and her fiercely protective side. She had always treated him – and more recently Isaac and Derek – like kids of her own, and there was no doubting that she was every bit as protective over Stiles as his own father was. 

At that moment, he had never loved her more for it.

~

It took five hours, but finally Melissa and Dr. Bennings got their hands on the results of the chest x-ray and the report from the oncologist it had been sent to. When Stiles got the results, he wasn’t floored. He wasn’t even shocked. He was just afraid of what the news would do to his dad. 

So when Melissa and Dr. Bennings both started to argue, he shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “He doesn’t have to know yet-“

“Stiles, you have to start treatment immediately!” Dr. Bennings stressed. “Stage four melanoma is-“

“Is practically untreatable,” Stiles finished, cutting off whatever she was going to say. He looked between the two of them. “I’m well aware that the five year survival rate for melanoma spread to the lungs is less than seven percent in most cases,” he said soberly. “I- I’m going to die,” he said simply. He shrugged, blinking a few times. “I’m going to die soon.”

Melissa shook her head with watery eyes. “No, honey. There is always hope. With treatments today, you could slow the progression, stop it from spreading. There’s a chance with this-“ She pointed at the results. “That you could have a lobectomy and the cancer might not come back for at least another few years and if it does, we can catch it early enough to stop it-“

“So basically I might could eke out another ten years filled with radiation and chemo and major surgeries,” Stiles said bitterly, a tear streaking his cheek. He shook his head, sniffling. “I _know_ what that does to someone. I watched my mother spent the last two years of her life suffering through all the treatments and procedures just to get a little while longer when she knew the whole time she was going to die,” he spat. “I remember every single minute of my _mom_ not being able to eat or get around the house because of what the chemo did to her and I always said that I’d _never_ make my dad suffer that again, no matter what.” He shook his head and a few more tears streaked his cheeks. “I’ll take the six months I have left healthy – hell I might get a year if I’m lucky – over five more years struggling through treatments when even that probably won’t really help.”

Dr. Bennings and Melissa both opened their mouths but Stiles shook his head. “Not. A word. To. My dad,” he whispered darkly before turning to leave. He didn’t want to hear their arguments. He had made up his mind. 

~

It was a strange feeling, knowing he was going to die. 

Stiles couldn’t really wrap his head around the idea that he might not even live to see eighteen. Other than a little cough and less stamina before he became short of breath, Stiles felt perfectly fine, and yet he knew that he was actively in the process of _dying_. There was no pain. No real fatigue. He hadn’t suffered a loss of appetite. His weight loss was just his body not being able to process the full nutrients from what he did eat, and even that was only slight so far. He felt like a normal teenage boy.

And he’d never even leave his teen years. 

Stiles spent one night alone in his room, trying to grasp the idea that he was dying. He felt hollow and numb. He didn’t cry. He wasn’t really even _scared_. He was just confused. It was the strangest feeling he had ever had. He figured that it would hit him later on that he was going to die and that was going to be it, but for the time being, it was just numbness.

The next day, he called Scott and Danny and Danny called Isaac and Isaac called Derek, and before he knew it, Stiles was having a water gun fight with his friends in the preserve and passing it off as ‘pack training’. He felt like a normal teenage boy again. He smiled, he laughed, and he just had a nice day with his friends.

As the sun set, Stiles and Scott sat on the roof of the jeep, watching the sun setting as a backdrop to Isaac and Derek wrestling around while Danny texted Lydia off to their left. Scott looked over at Stiles carefully and Stiles raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

Scott bit his lip. “My mom… she smelled like you the other day. And she spent half the night in her room crying. I feel like something is going on that you aren’t telling me,” he muttered.

Stiles’s chest tightened and he saw Scott react slightly to the skip of his heart so he told the truth. “I saw her and we talked about my mom and- and how I watched her wasting away for so long, trying to stay alive for me and my dad when it was just making her suffering even worse.” He _was_ telling the truth technically. “It was… rough,” he added.

Scott’s eyes widened and he flung himself half across the hood, hugging Stiles. “Shit, no wonder she was crying. I didn’t know you could still remember that much.” He laid his head on Stiles’s shoulder. “I’m here for you if you wanna talk or something.”

Stiles smiled warmly, curling his arms around Scott. “It’s okay, Scotty,” he whispered. “It was a couple days ago.”

Scott nodded, sitting up. “Yeah but still… you’re my best friend. I don’t want you to be sad,” he said, leaning back against Stiles’s shoulder. “So I’m here for you. If you want. I always will be.”

Stiles started to return the sentiment, but chose not to because he knew, in his heart, that it was a lie.

~

Stiles had dropped off his dad’s dinner at the station, only to realize once he was back in his jeep and on the road that someday soon, his dad wouldn’t have anyone to bring him dinner anymore.

The realization hit Stiles so hard that one moment he was singing along to the radio and the next he was pulled over on the side of the road fighting to breathe through the pain over the thought of his dad having _no one_. They didn’t have any other relatives, not in Beacon Hills. His dad didn’t have many friends outside of work besides Melissa and Deaton. By the same time next year, Stiles would either be gone or too sick to do anything for his dad anymore and John would be _alone_.

Stiles couldn’t have explained his decision to anyone, but before he even knew what he was doing, he had turned his jeep around and was driving towards Derek’s loft. When he got there, he didn’t care that it was eleven at night. He didn’t care if Derek didn’t like visitors there anymore now that he was alone, even if his loft was actually more like a lived in area than an abandoned space. When he got there, he didn’t bother locking the jeep doors, he just ran into the building and to the elevator. 

When he opened the grate, Derek was already waiting in front of it with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. He looked like he had been asleep, maybe. He was wearing sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt with unusually rumpled hair and bare feet. “Stiles.” He stared at Stiles, looking annoyed.

Stiles couldn’t be bothered to care if Derek didn’t want him there or not. “How do you deal with being alone?” he asked bluntly. He wanted to feel guilty, but in his heart, Stiles _needed_ to know how Derek dealt with having no family now that Cora had went her separate way and Peter hadn’t been seen in months. 

Derek’s face shut down and he glared. “Stiles-“

“No,” Stiles said softly. He walked past Derek and stepped down into the apartment. He walked into the middle of the room and then turned around, holding out his arms as Derek came inside, sliding the noisy door shut behind him, no matter how annoyed he seemed. “I need to know. How do you do it? What- what do you do to make it where you can do this?” He gestured around. “Live by yourself. Not have any family. I need-“ He let his arms drop to his sides limply. “If Scott hadn’t let you into his pack, if you didn’t have him and Isaac… would you be okay?”

Derek approached him cautiously, eyes searching Stiles. “Why do you want to know this? Where did that even come from, Stiles?” he asked slowly.

Stiles shook his head, looking away. “Just answer me.”

Derek sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face and hair. “Why do I even- Ugh, fine.” He let his hand fall to slap his thigh. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Omegas-“

“No,” Stiles interrupted. “Not as an omega. As a person. As Derek Hale, the twenty-three year old man, not Derek Hale the werewolf.”

Derek eyed him curiously before speaking. “Without the pack, I’m not sure what I’d be doing,” he said softly. “I’ve never been totally alone for long. Even when it was just Laura, or just Cora, I had _someone_. And even if Cora isn’t here and I don’t have family here, I have you guys. I have a pack. So I’m not alone.”

Stiles swallowed hard, closing his eyes. “When you- when you lost Laura. When you were alone then… if things hadn’t happened the way they did. Would you have been okay?”

“No,” Derek admitted straightaway. “Without Scott, without becoming an alpha and making my own pack, I would’ve gone crazy. I couldn’t have handled it. I had such a big family that just having one person was hard enough. But nobody?” He shook his head. “I’d have never been able to take it.”

Stiles opened his eyes and looked up, the dim light from the window outside reflecting on the unshed tears in his eyes. “If you were alone, you wouldn’t have made it?”

Derek shook his head slowly. “No… why are you asking me this?”

Stiles let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, tears streaking his cheeks. “I need you to do something for me,” he said, then opened his eyes. “I know that- that you aren’t even the most obvious choice for this, but you _understand_ better than anybody else I’ve got, okay?”

Derek stepped closer. “Stiles, what’s going on?”

Stiles held up a hand. “Just- just listen.” Derek stopped a few paces away and Stiles nodded to himself, confident in his decision. “I need you to promise me something. I need- I need you to look out for my dad, okay?” Stiles’s voice broke and he cleared his throat. “I need you to help- help him. He’s going to need so much help, and- and I know you guys still aren’t the best of friends, but he’ll need someone really badly – worse than ever – and you are the best one for the job. He’ll need someone to keep him from drinking and- and from giving up altogether.” Stiles let out a weak sob. “Please, Derek. Promise me you’ll take care for him for me, okay?”

Derek stalked closer. “Stiles, what are you talking about? Where are you going? Whatever you’re thinking about doing, you don’t have to leave. Whatever happened, just talk to me,” he said urgently. “No matter who or what it is, Scott and Isaac and I can take care of it-“

Stiles turned around and stepped away, showing Derek his back. “No, Derek. I need you to just promise me. I can’t- I don’t want to talk just-“

“What happened to your neck?” Derek asked suddenly. Stiles turned around, hand going up to his neck to touch the scar from the biopsy. A full biopsy meant cutting away the entire section of skin and leaving a scar that nobody else had noticed so far. Derek stepped closer, and Stiles tried to scrambled back before Derek could take a deep breath, but Derek caught his wrist, pulling him until their chests were flush. He saw Derek breathe deeply, and his heart dropped when Derek’s eyes flew wide and he stumbled back, dropping Stiles’s wrist. “Fuck, _Stiles_ ,” Derek gasped.

Stiles bit his lip and nodded with a sad smile. “I’m glad you noticed it. I would’ve never known until it was too late to hide it from my dad,” he said, rubbing at his neck.

Derek just stared, eyes wide and skin pale. “No,” he whispered and Stiles nodded, head hanging.

“Stage four metastatic melanoma,” Stiles answered the unasked question. He touched his chest. “Started as skin cancer. Spread to the posterior cervical lymph nodes. Now I have lung cancer.”

Derek shook his head slowly. “But- but the treatments. We would’ve all been able to smell the chemicals-“

“I’m not having any,” Stiles said simply.

Derek’s eyes flickered blue and he stalked back over to Stiles. “What?! Why the hell not?! Stiles, you’ll _die_!”

“I am dying!” Stiles barked right back. He deflated some at Derek’s cowed look. “Derek…” He shook his head with a sad smile. “My mother died of pancreatic cancer. She took every treatment we could find because she wanted a little more time. She wanted me and my dad to have a little more time with her.” He shook his head, blinking back tears. “But it’s not- it’s not worth it.” His breath hitched. “I love my dad. I _love_ him. But I know now that watching that?” His lip quivered. “Watching someone waste away and suffer even longer? It’s worse. I was only eight and I can remember that, no matter how bad it hurt, I was still a little relieved when she died because she- she wasn’t suffering anymore, you know?” He let out a weak sob. “I can’t do that to my dad.” He took a few deep, calming breaths as tears continued to streak his face. “I’d rather have a healthy six months and a quicker death when it finally hits me than stretch out two years suffering through chemo while living at home and _maybe_ another year in a hospital too sick to leave.”

Derek’s eyes jumped up to meet his. “Six months?” he whispered fearfully.

Stiles nodded, sniffling and wiping at his cheeks with his hoodie sleeves, tugging at them as he spoke. “I might have about six months before I’m too sick. Could have five before I’m dead.” He shrugged with his eyes downcast. “Metastatic melanoma spread to the lungs has a five year survival rate of less than five percent. One year of less than twenty. I may as well take a few more months healthy and then go in just a few weeks instead of stretch it out with chemo and stuff.”

“B-but… _Stiles_.” Stiles looked up and he was struck dumb by the sight of Derek looking at him like his entire world had just been shaken. “You’re only seventeen.”

Stiles smiled sadly, throat clicking as he spoke. “A lot of people never make it this far. At least it’s been an adventure,” he said softly.

Derek stepped closer, shaking his head. “No, there has to be something. Some treatment. Humans have so many medicines and- and surgeries and- Stiles, there has to be _something_!” He stopped, hands fisted at his sides, right in front of Stiles. “You’re _seventeen_.”

“You know even better than I do that life doesn’t coddle you just for being a child,” he said, looking between Derek’s eyes. “It’s okay.” He smiled tightly. “No regrets, right?” he said with a fragile little chuckle as a tear broke free. “Hey, I’ve saved a lot of people, you know? So it’s not like my life hasn’t meant something.” He tilted his head as he watched Derek’s lips twitch in an absolutely _broken_ smile. “I’m not telling my dad. Not until it’s impossible to hide. Same with Scott. I know he and Isaac will figure it out sooner than I’d like, but let’s keep this between us huh?” Derek nodded mutely. “C’mon, Derek,” he breathed. He reached out and shoved at his shoulder lightly. “It’s okay. I’ve got a few more months. I’ve got long enough to get some things in order and enjoy what I have while I’ve still got it.” He smiled when Derek huffed out a wet laugh. “What’s better than a peaceful summer while we’re all finally friends to be my last? It’s more than a lot of my friends ever got.”

Derek closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath a couple of tears escaped before he looked up and gave Stiles a nod. “Let me help at least? Whatever you want to do that you need help for. If you wanted to… see the Atlantic or something. I’ll take you. Just- just anything I can help with.”

Stiles smiled a bright, genuine smile. “Mostly I just want to know someone’s looking after my dad and Scott when I’m gone, but yeah. Having a legal adult with better transportation might come in handy. I do have a few things in mind.”

Derek nodded stoically. “Whatever you need, Stiles.” He bit his lip, looking uneasy, but seemed to decide ‘fuck it’, because he spoke. “You were the first person to help me without some sort of personal motive, you have saved my life, and you saved Cora’s life. I owe you so much more than anything you could ask me for.”

Stile shook his head firmly. “You don’t owe me shit, Derek. I do that stuff because it’s right, not for favors.”

“Then I want to do whatever you need me to because-“ Derek smiled sadly. “Because you’re my friend.”

Stiles smiled back and nodded. “Until the day I die,” he joked, only to grunt when Derek’s reaction was to gasp and snatch Stiles into an entirely unexpected hug. “Shit, it’s okay, Derek. It’s fine.”

Derek just shook his head, arms around Stiles’s middle. “It’s really not at all okay,” he growled. “You’re pack, human be damned, so it’s really, really not okay.”

Stiles closed his eyes and hugged Derek back, sighing. “Yeah, I know it’s not,” he admitted softly.

~

Stiles laughed as Magnolia talked about the bouncer at the club she had a show at the night before and his hair. “Seriously, Stiles, it was a _mullet_. We’re talking Joe Dirt!”

Stiles looked over at the werewolves, who were all ignoring him as they ran round, trying not to get hit by the rubber tipped arrows Allison was firing at them. “I would love to see that,” Stiles said absently.

“You should!” Magnolia said brightly. “Seriously, Honey, it’s summer! Come visit Mama!”

Stiles sighed dramatically. “Unfortunately, my dear, I’m seventeen.”

“So? I can get you in before the club opens while it’s just us gals and then by the time they open up and start carding, you’ll already be inside with me! Nobody will know! Bring a friend and come see me!” she urged. “I miss you, Honey!”

Stiles smiled sadly, looking down at his hands. “I’m- I’m not sure you’ll hear from me for much longer, Magnolia.” He made sure nobody was glancing his way and he lowered his voice. “I have something going on. Something big. I may not talk to you again after a few more months. I’ll make sure somebody calls to explain.”

“Oooh you running away baby?” Magnolia asked. “Run away and come see Mama!”

Stiles closed his eyes and thought about it. He’d _love_ to see her. Magnolia had been a good friend for a short time and he missed her when she moved away. Magnolia was the first person he really talked to about being bisexual. She was the only person he’d talked about his feelings for Derek with. He knew it would never happen – even more than he knew he and Lydia would never actually get together – but he had grown comfortable with that. He had long accepted that he was stuck crushing on Derek from afar, and that was okay with him. He’d hinted about both the bisexuality and his crush on Derek to Danny a few times, since he knew Danny wouldn’t freak out, but Danny didn’t seem to notice any more than Scott did and Scott was oblivious. He could just imagine how good it would feel to see Magnolia one more time before the end. “I wish I had a way to come see you,” he said, then paused. 

Stiles looked up, gazing out at where Derek was hiding behind a tree, laughing when Isaac got shot and yelped. “Stiles? Honey, you there?” Magnolia asked interrupting his thoughts.

He grinned to himself as an idea swirled in his head. “Hey Magnolia? I’ll call you back tomorrow. I think I may have a way to come see you.”

“YES, CHILD! You get on that and come see me!” Magnolia cheered and Stiles beamed as he hung up, already planning in his mind what all he’d need to do when he got home. 

~

Stiles stared at the plan on his screen. It was… something else, that was for sure. “It’s crazy, that’s what it is,” Derek argued and Stiles huffed.

“Derek, C’mon!” Stiles spun around and pouted at him. “You said you would help me-“

“I said I’d help, but I didn’t think you would plan to _run away from home_!” Derek argued. “Stiles, you’re a minor, if we do this and your dad reports me, we’ll get arrested and I’ll be a felon for _kidnapping you_!”

Stiles shook his head. “He won’t do that. I’m leaving him a letter. He’ll understand. He’ll be mad,” he allowed. “But he’ll get it. I’m dying, Derek. He’ll understand me wanting to do what I can while I’ve got time.” Derek flinched slightly, and Stiles sighed. “Derek… it’s okay. You don’t have to-“

“It isn’t that,” Derek argued weakly. He looked up, meeting Stiles’s eyes. “Your dad would probably rather have you home, Stiles. If he’s going to lose you, he’ll want to spend more time with you.”

Stiles nodded with a sad smile. “I know. But it’s not like I’m going to get home and just die. I’ve got time, Derek.” He looked at him hopefully. “Do you want to do this with me?”

Derek nodded reluctantly. “I do, but… do you really want to spend that big of a chunk of the last of your time stuck with me?” he asked pointedly.

Stiles’s belly flipped but he covered it with a glare. “Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with you? You’re my friend, Derek-“

“Yeah but I know how I am,” Derek argued. “I know I’m… surly. And awkward. And I sort of suck at being a good friend.”

Stiles shook his head. “Lies.” He gave Derek a smile. “Dude, first thing, ‘surly’?” He snorted. “And second, you’re obviously a good friend if you’re willing to put up with me like this. I’m loud. And annoying. We’re very complimentary personalities, you know? You’re quiet and shy and I’m loud and outgoing. I feel like we’ll have fun together. Besides,” he said in a softer voice. “Unlike Scott, who I love like a brother don’t get me wrong, you’re mature enough to do this with me and not make it harder than it has to be.”

Derek nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, he is a little dramatic,” he agreed. He sighed, but nodded, leaning closer to look at the screen. “A whole road trip, huh?”

Stiles nodded, grinning. “There’s this tomato festival I’ve always wanted to go to in Pennsylvania so I thought ‘why not’?” 

“… Tomato festival?” Derek asked flatly and Stiles smirked.

“It ends in a gigantic rotten tomato fight. Seriously. Five bucks and you get unlimited ammo. It’s like the biggest food fight EVER. So cool!”

Derek snickered. “Of course you want to go there.” He looked back at the screen, then gestured. “Can I add something?” Stiles nodded.

“Yeah sure, lemme-“ He tensed when Derek didn’t bother waiting for Stiles to move, choosing instead to lean around him, arms on either side as he looked over Stiles’s shoulder as he started typing.

Derek made a soft sound as he hit ‘enter’. “I lived in Brooklyn,” he said, sitting back again. “If we’re going that far, may as well show you my favorite places in New York,” he said with a small smile. 

Stiles looked at him suddenly. “Why didn’t you go back? I mean, I know you needed pack, but you and Cora could’ve stuck together then. She would’ve liked New York.”

Derek shrugged. “Beacon Hills just made more sense. There was more for me here,” he said with a distant look in his eyes. 

Stiles hummed. “I guess I can buy that.” He grinned. “Dude. All the way to the Atlantic with me. Talking your ear off. Think you can handle it?”

Derek looked at him and Stiles could see the sadness in Derek’s eyes from this close. “I’ll probably regret saying this, but I think it’ll be fun.”

Stiles smiled and nodded. “Well we leave in three days. You better be ready,” he said excitedly and Derek rolled his eyes.

“Oh God I’m going to jail. Again,” he grumbled as he stood up and went to get his jacket so he could leave. “Your dad better not put me in prison after this,” he said in a playfully stern voice, sharing one more smile with Stiles before going over to climb out the window.

Stiles turned back to his computer with a small smile of his own as he started booking their first stay. “San Francisco, here we come.”

~

_Dad,_

_By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. Don’t freak out! I’m safe and I’ll be back pretty soon. I know I should tell you why I’m leaving out of the blue like this, but I really don’t know why myself. I just felt like it was the right thing to do. As much as I love you, this trip is about me. I don’t mean that in a selfish way, I just mean that I’ve changed so much in the last few years, Dad. I’ve grown and changed and been forced into it by circumstances worse than anything I should’ve had to face. There are things I want to do and experience that I always said ‘someday’ when I thought about them._

_Today is that ‘someday’. Derek offered to help me go places and see things I always wanted to. I know he seems like a weird choice for this, but he’s actually the only choice for this. It was either alone or with him and I don’t feel safe traveling alone. I know you still don’t trust him completely, but I promise you, he would never let anything happen to me. I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone, and I’m instituting a ‘no cellphone’ rule so that Danny can’t track us by our phones (Yeah, I anticipated that!). However, you can follow our trip and updates about it at our travel blog. Shut up, it’s the only way to keep you guys updated without having to deal with your responses._

_Dad, I love you. I promise, I’ll be home soon. Don’t blame Derek, okay? This was all my idea. He’s just a good enough friend that he went along with it._

_Love,_

_Stiles_

Stiles looked at the letter he was leaving on his bed and nodded to himself. He looked around to make sure he had everything and then picked up his bags, already on his way out of his room when he heard Derek honk out front. When he put his stuff in the back and slid into the passenger seat, Derek looked at him and gave him a searching look. “Really sure about this? Last chance to back out.”

Stiles shook his head and grinned. “No way, dude. Let’s go!”


	2. San Francisco

Day 1: San Francisco (day 1 of 2)

Stiles smiled brightly as they cruised along. The signs were ticking down the miles to San Francisco already. “God. We’re really doing this,” Stiles said and Derek nodded with a small smile.

“Yeah, I’ve kidnapped you and I’m taking you across state lines-“

“Oh whatever, my dad is _not_ going to arrest you, Derek,” Stiles said firmly. “He’ll understand I’m…. sure.” Stiles trailed off and Derek watched his eyes follow a sign as they drove past.

Derek could see sadness in Stiles’s eyes and frowned. “You okay?”

Stiles smiled sadly, looking down at his hands. “We’re driving past Berkeley,” he said softly. Derek waited and Stiles looked up and stared out the window. “I- I applied to Berkeley already. I had a good chance of being accepted.”

Derek’s stomach twisted and his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. He had no idea what to say because what _could_ you say to comfort the brilliant seventeen year old who would never live to see college and might not even graduate high school?

Their ride lapsed into a studious silence until they began to cross San Francisco Bay, on their way into the city. “So ‘Magnolia’,” Derek started. “I’m going to assume…”

“Drag queen,” Stiles said with a bright smile. “Remember the night the Kanima took out like five guys at Jungle? I met some really awesome drag queens, man. Such fun friends to hang with, no joke.” He grinned and bounced excitedly. “Magnolia is the best. She’s a doll, really. She moved down here a few months after that, she just started feeling unsafe in Beacon Hills, and she’s been pestering me to come see her and well… she’s actually what put this whole thing into motion,” Stiles explained, gesturing. “I was telling her that I may not see her again and she pointed out it’s summer, I had no real reason NOT to come see her and then I thought about your offer,” Stiles said with a grin. “And hey, if I’m going four hours to see a friend, why not go for broke and see the country? It’s not like I can just do it when I grow up.”

Derek forced a nod. “Sounds good.”

Stiles studied him closely. “Derek, you’re not regretting this, right? WE can do this and go home if you want. It’s still more than enough-“

“No,” Derek said firmly. “You want to take a road trip and I want you to _be happy_ , Stiles,” he stressed in a soft voice. He glanced over and saw Stiles looking at him closely. “This is going to be a great trip.” He snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’ll annoy the hell out of me, but hey, cool stuff to do,” he added sarcastically, startling Stiles into a scoff.

“Oh what _ever_! I’m annoying?! Who is the master of _sass_ , huh, Derek?”

“You and your dad, I swear to God, you Stilinskis-“

“Hey, you have room to talk! Between you and Cora and Peter, I’ve got a pretty good idea that sassy attitude is Hale genetics!”

Derek couldn’t help but smile as they bickered back and forth, just like old times, as they made their way across the bay to their first stop on their summer adventure. Derek hid his amusement behind a mocking scowl because it made Stiles even more energetic in his cracks. If there was one thing Derek was going to miss more than anything else about Stiles, it was the easy, comfortable, mostly playful bickering they had perfected.

~

Their first order of business was finding and checking into the hotel Stiles had booked for them on the fly. It was somewhere cheap and available to book and check in the same day, so Stiles wasn’t expecting much. However, very little was funnier than to get to their room and see how _tiny_ it was. When they dropped their bags, they had to climb onto the two _twin_ beds just to put the last bags on the floor where they had been standing. 

Stiles snorted. “Dude, if the bathroom is to scale with the room, you may not fit in the shower,” he teased and Derek huffed, flopping down on his bed.

“Yeah, yeah, just grab your clothes and change so we can get going and meet your friend,” Derek said and Stiles sat up, looking him over.

Stiles took in Derek’s tee-shirt with a hole under the sleeve and jeans with fringed hems. “You are _not_ dressing like that to go to drag club full of super fashionable drag queens. Magnolia would stab me for letting you come.”

Derek sat up, giving him a flat look. “Do I look like I have ‘clubbing’ clothes?” He gestured to Stiles. “Besides, like you have any fashion sense whatsoever-“

“Hey, Magnolia taught me well, thank you! I just prefer comfort over style at home.” He stood up and stumbled over their bags, kneeling to root around in his. “Don’t worry, Derek. Your friendly neighborhood gay kid is here to help with your fashion failures,” he said, then stood up with a pair of briefs in his hand, waving them wide when he gestured. “Although I’m actually bisexual and saying all gay kids are fashionable is really stereotypical, so maybe I should just not talk anymore,” he said, then shrugged. “Whatever, I’ll fix you, is what I’m saying.” He leapt over Derek’s big duffel bag and tumbled into the bathroom, yanking the door shut behind him when he grabbed onto the knob for balance, leaving Derek laying on the bed in confusion, trying to understand if he had just imagined Stiles coming out to him.

~

When they got to the club in the afternoon, a few hours before it opened, they were led to the back where a half-dressed drag queen squealed and ran to hug Stiles. “String Bean!” she cried, then backed off, holding her hands up. “Oh God, Mama didn’t get makeup on you right?”

Stiles just beamed. “It’s fine if you did, I missed you!” he gushed, kissing her cheek. “Man, Beacon Hills is so lonely now that all my beautiful girls are gone,” he sighed dramatically, holding her hands.

Magnolia scoffed. “Oh hush you,” she chastised as she glanced at Derek, only to stop and do a double take. “Well, well, well, you didn’t tell me you had you a man!” she drawled, then looked Derek over. “Mmmm and he sure is a _man_.”

Stiles flushed, cheeks showing spots of pink. “Oh no, no, Derek’s just a friend,” he said quickly. “Um, Magnolia, this is Derek, Derek, Magnolia,” he said, gesturing between them.

“That mean he’s on the menu?” one of the other girls called and Derek raised an eyebrow at Stiles.

“Now, now Ladies!” Stiles walked over and slung his arm around Derek’s shoulders. “Keep those hands to yourselves,” he chastised, then winked. “Besides,” he started, then sighed dramatically. “I’m afraid we have a straight one on our hands.”

Magnolia sighed and shook her head. “Such a shame. A Grade A Prime cut of big, juicy _man_ and he likes women. Isn’t that always the story?” she said to Stiles. “They’re either taken or straight, huh?”

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Don’t women usually say men are either married or gay?” he asked and Stiles snickered.

“And this is why I’m an equal opportunity shopper. You just can’t afford to be picky these days,” he said, then slid his arm around Magnolia’s waist and followed her back to her makeup area. “Now, you tell me all about what the hell Benny has done now!” he prompted and she groaned.

“Oh _Child_ you could not _even_ imagine!” Stiles met Derek’s eye in the mirror and nodded that he could go if he wanted, so Derek nodded and headed out to go look around the rest of the club while Stiles caught up with his friend.

When he got to a back hall where he knew Stiles wouldn’t find him, he pulled out his phone, found a contact, and pressed ‘send’. A minute later Lydia answered the phone. “Derek? It hasn’t even been a full six hours yet!”

“I know, but I wanted to make sure you guys were all working together on this. I need you all putting your heads together without tipping off the parents,” he said softly, glancing around for anybody interrupting.

“We’re good, Derek, but we won’t have results for a few days at least-“

“Just hurry,” Derek urged, sighing heavily. “The more he talks about dying, the more it makes me wish I was good at science and magic so I could be _useful_.”

Lydia sighed. “Look, Derek. You’re keeping his spirits up. Giving him something to focus on. Keeping him out of our hair,” she added. “You’re doing your fair share, I promise.”

Derek let his head fall back against the wall. “I just wish it felt like it,” he muttered before hanging up.

~

When Derek came back, he felt like someone had punched him in the stomach when he saw Stiles. Stiles had taken off his jacket and where he was standing, hips cocked as he leaned back on the makeup counter behind him, Stiles’s tight white long sleeve shirt showed exactly how, even if Stiles had lost some weight, his chest and shoulders had filled out sometime in the past few months that Derek had missed that entirely. Stiles had a slender waist, and a long body, but he had somehow gone from a gangly young boy to a lean young man. The V-neck dipped down low enough to see a slight dusting of chest hair, and the shirt was so tight that there was no missing the definition in his chest and arms. 

Derek knew he wasn’t the only one that could see how beautiful Stiles was growing up to be. He had trouble understanding how Stiles failed to see what everyone else did.

“Yeah, Honey, that man has no idea what he’s missing by ignoring you,” Magnolia was saying as Derek walked up to them. He started to ask who they were talking about since he didn’t know she knew any of Stiles’s friends, but then Stiles lifted a drink to his lips.

Derek rolled his eyes and walked forward, grabbing the glass from Stiles’s hand before he could take a sip. “I don’t think so,” he said and Stiles flailed a little and then huffed, trying to grab his drink back.

“Derek!” 

“Stiles!” Derek mocked, then turned and handed the glass back to Magnolia. “He’s seventeen,” Derek pointed out and Magnolia scoffed.

“Please, like he’s not drinking on his own at parties and out with his friends and using fake IDs back home anyways,” she said and Derek raised an eyebrow.

“And I’m not the one responsible for him at parties and with his friends and wherever they let him in with a fake ID,” he said simply, and then shot Stiles a look. “Two words: _Sheriff_ Stilinski,” he stressed.

Stiles sighed, rolling his eyes. “Derek, I got a couple words I could say to you, one starts with a ‘c’ and ends in ‘r’,” he said pointedly. 

Derek bit his lip but rolled his eyes as he handed Stiles back his drink. “You are _not_ getting drunk,” he said firmly and Stiles smiled and nodded.

“Sure thing, Buddy.” He popped the cherry in his drink into his mouth and then dropped the stem on the table beside him. “You should have a couple drinks. We walked here, so you don’t have to worry about driving,” he said and Derek raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, because letting you walk around in a club full of adults dressed like that while I’m the one drinking is a great idea,” he said blandly.

Stiles frowned, looking down at himself. “What? Like what?” he asked.

Magnolia actually put down her eyeliner to shoot Stiles a look, then rolled her eyes at Derek. “The boy is clueless,” she said, then swatted at Stiles’s thigh. “He’s talking about how you have really grown up since I saw you last, String Bean! A sweet little twinky thing like you? You could have any man you wanted in this city, nonetheless this club, wearing that tight as sin shirt and showing off that perky little butt.”

Stiles flushed and spluttered. “What?! I could not- I’m not- _Magnolia!_ ,” he whined, giving her a bashful look. “Stop that.”

Derek sighed dramatically. “I wish she was lying, but she’s not. You’ve really put on some muscle and grew into your gangly limbs since I met you. I have a good feeling I’m going to have to punch some handsy drunk person at some point in the night over you.”

Magnolia smirked. “He is a handsome little thing, huh?” she said to Derek, shaking her head as she looked Stiles over. “If I looked half that pretty I would be a kept man by now,” she said and Stiles snickered.

“Dude, if I was older and could find somebody that actually wanted me I would totally be a great house husband. I already cook and clean, so throw in a constant supply of sex and presents and I’m totally down,” he joked. “Hey Derek! If I meet a rich older man or woman that wants to keep me-“

Derek cut him off. “ _Sheriff_ Stilinski,” he said pointedly and Stiles rolled his eyes.

“No fun,” he teased with a faint smile. 

~

After the show, Magnolia didn’t even bother to fully de-drag before she took Derek and Stiles out for a late night dinner at a twenty-four hour diner nearby. Stiles was amused to see how many half-done drag queens were already there when they showed up, lining the booths and the counter with wigless-but-still-headstockinged queens in street clothes with most of their makeup still on and nails still done. Magnolia waved at a few people before sliding into the booth with her bag beside her so Stiles and Derek could sit across from her. Stiles thought she looked hilarious without a wig or her shoes, but still wearing her sequined one-piece and fishnets with a pair of slippers. 

“So, what did you think?” she asked, and Stiles grinned.

“You’re still my favorite,” he said and she preened, before turning to Derek expectantly. Stiles elbowed Derek and Derek floundered slightly.

“Um.. yeah, great?” he offered, then deflated against their combined glares. “What?! I was busy glaring at grown ass men who kept trying to walk up and talk to Stiles,” he said and Stiles smiled gleefully.

“Dude, I’m totally hot and nobody told me before. I’m firing all of my friends,” he said to Magnolia, who just rolled her eyes.

“Just don’t you get yourself an ego, String Bean.” She gestured to Derek. “It’s not like you look like _that_ ,” she stressed.

Stiles burst out laughing at the way Derek suddenly tensed as if he wasn’t sure how to respond. “Oh come on, you know you’re hot,” he said, elbowing Derek playfully.

Derek shrugged, shrinking in on himself some. “I don’t really _talk_ about it,” he grumbled uncomfortably.

Magnolia just sighed. “Damn, you take it serious to look out for your friend, _after_ taking him on a trip, _and_ you’re not cocky about that face and body? Sure you don’t wanna move down here and marry me?” she teased and Derek rolled his eyes, but flushed slightly.

Stiles grabbed his phone quickly and snapped a picture. It was too good to pass up. Blushing Derek Hale. Derek turned and gaped. “No you did not-“

“Oh yes I did!” Stiles said, waggling the phone in the air. Derek reached for it but Stiles dropped it down his shirt before Derek’s hand could catch it. “Gonna go after it now?” he challenged and Derek huffed.

“If you post that on that damn travel blog, I will strangle you in your sleep, Stiles,” he said and Stiles gave him a pretty alarmingly evil look. “Wow, don’t do that, it reminds me of Peter,” he said and Stiles spluttered, jerking so hard he nearly knocked Derek in the face.

“EW! Dude, don’t EVEN!” he whined and Derek just smirked. Derek’s smile slipped when his phone chirped in his pocket. Stiles raised an eyebrow and Derek pulled it out suddenly. “What part of ‘no calls or texts’ didn’t you get, Derek?” Stiles complained but Derek didn’t look at him. “If you answer that-“

Derek answered as he slid out of the booth. “It’s Cora, she doesn’t count,” he said, derailing Stiles’s complaint. 

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Stiles said, nodding to Derek when he turned and headed to the door to go talk outside. “Way to give me a heart attack,” he grumbled to himself, fishing his phone out of his shirt when Derek was gone.

Magnolia leaned her elbows on the table and narrowed her eyes at Stiles. “Why are you so against talking to anybody on the phone?”

Stiles bit his lips, looking down uneasily. “Because… we may have just left town today without telling anybody where we’re going,” he said and Magnolia hitched an eyebrow at him. “We- we decided to just go. I left a note in my bedroom. They may not have even noticed I’m not there anymore until around now so I was worried someone was calling him and he was going to answer it. If you don’t answer, they can’t trace the call-“

“Oh my God what did you DO?!” Magnolia hissed but Stiles shook his head.

“No, I have a friend who is a hacker.” He shrugged. “They’re all going to be really mad when they realize I blacklisted their numbers.”

Magnolia leaned forward, frowning slightly. “Honey, is everything okay at home?” she asked softly. “I know I wanted you to come see me, but why would you just disappear on your friends and your old man?”

Stiles bit his lip and then looked up to meet her eyes. “Because I didn’t want to tell them why I wanted to do the road trip Derek and I are on. When we’re done here we’re going all the way to the east coast. He wanted to help me see and do whatever I wanted to this summer.”

She smiled softly. “Awww he’s so sweet,” she cooed, then smirked. “Sure you’re not-“

“Oh I wish,” Stiles sighed, then shook his head with a little smiled. “But no. Straight and just a friend.”

She hummed skeptically. “Yeah and ‘just a friend’ would risk getting locked up by your old man just to take you on a vacation.”

He reached out and pulled Magnolia’s hand into his, lacing their fingers together. “He would because he’s a good man,” he said softly, then looked up. “And he would do anything for a friend that’s dying.”

Magnolia tensed and stared at Stiles with fearful eyes. “You’re not serious.”

He nodded sadly. “Cancer. I’ve got maybe six more months-“

“Oh my God, Honey!” Magnolia came halfway across the table to hug him, both of them standing leaned across the table. “Oh my little String Bean, no,” she breathed and he chuckled, kissing her cheek when they pulled apart and he sat back down. “Stiles, Baby, I’m so sorry.”

Stiles shrugged, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “Hey, I’ve had a really good past few months. And I’m about to have an incredible next few weeks. And as much as I love all my friends and my dad, I’m not worried that I’m wasting time I could be spending with them because I need to do everything I can while I’m still healthy enough and Derek-“ He hesitated, then smiled fondly. “Derek can stay mature and calm about this. He’s the only one I’ve told that I’m dying. He made a little bit of noise about me not choosing treatments, but when I explained that they won’t help do anything but make me suffer longer when I could just enjoy a little time healthy, he stopped, gave me a hug, and then promised me that he’ll do whatever he can to make my time worth living.” 

Magnolia sniffled and wiped at her eyes with the hand not still holding Stiles’s. “God, he really is a great man isn’t he?” she asked with a weak laugh. “I can’t even blame you for being goofy over that boy. Even if he wasn’t gorgeous, he’d still be worth the crush,” she said and Stiles nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t think he realizes how I feel, so that’s good. I don’t want my dumb crush to mess up this trip. He’s so understanding that he’d probably act like it was nothing, but I want us to be as open with each other as we can be since I don’t get to fix anything I screw up now.” Stiles shrugged. “I’ll still have a few months left when we get back. I can be with my family then. This is for me and, really, it’s for them too. I’d rather my dad spend the next few weeks angry at me and be able to hold off telling him I’m going to die, you know?”

Magnolia sighed softly but forced a smile. “Yeah, Stiles. I really get that,” she said. She looked at him closely, reaching out to cup his cheek. “I’m really going to miss you, Sweetheart,” she said, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I love you, you know? It’s like having a little brother or something. I couldn’t ask for a sweeter friend than you.”

Stiles bit his lip and blinked back some tears of his own. “I love you too,” he said hoarsely, then let out a laugh and pulled away to wipe at his face. “God, look at us. We’re a mess.”

Magnolia nodded and gave a wet laugh, grabbing some napkins to wipe the smears of makeup off her cheeks. “Enough of this shit,” she agreed. “Hey, tonight was fun and we’ve got a hot man to stare at when he comes back. There is no reason for tears.”

 

Stiles nodded and beamed. “Damn straight!”

~

When Derek and Stiles got to the corner where their path and Magnolia’s split off, Stiles hugged Magnolia for a long time. When she pulled back and looked up at him, there were tears in both their eyes again. She pulled him down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, then pulled away and looked into his eyes before leaning in and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips, holding his face in her hands. 

When she pulled away, she gave him a tearful but genuine smile. “Don’t you ever forget what Mama told you, okay? You are a strong, smart, absolutely beautiful person, String Bean. No matter what happens, you will always be capable of handling anything life throws at you. Nobody can ever take that away from you and don’t you ever let anybody think you’re not good enough for anything on God’s green earth, okay?” Stiles nodded, giving her a warm smile. Magnolia nodded and swiped her thumbs under his glassy eyes over his still-dry cheeks. “Now don’t you dare cry when I walk away, because you are far too fierce for that shit. You go on this trip with that amazing boy over there and don’t you let a damn thing stop you or make you feel guilty. You _live_ , Honey.” She shook her head. “Don’t hold back. Don’t be scared of anything. Don’t second-guess yourself on a damn thing,” she said sternly. “Do what you wanna do, see what you wanna see, and always remember that Mama loves you and that won’t ever change.”

Stiles nodded and smiled brightly. “Damn straight it won’t.” He pulled her hands from his face and squeezed them once more when he stepped back. “Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna be just fine.”

She stepped back, letting his hands drop and nodded one more time. “Yes you are, Honey.” She blew him a kiss and then turned and walked away.

Stiles stood and watched her walk for a moment before turning back to Derek, who had lingered respectfully behind them, and gave him a dramatic eye roll. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted,” he said and Derek gave him a soft smile and nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go,” he said, falling into step beside Stiles as they headed back to the hotel without another moment’s hesitation.

~

Day 2: San Francisco (Day 2 of 2)

If you asked Stiles, San Francisco was just _cool_. They got day passes to ride on the cable cars (which seemed to amuse even Derek), they went to see the Golden Gate Bridge, and they even went to a museum that had the _coolest_ exhibits ever with interactive elements to most everything from human social interaction experiments to a _wave organ_ built out of old cemetery parts so that the tide coming in played music. Derek’s favorite thing was, alarming enough to Stiles, a shop that sold _taxidermy_. Not just the usual animals, but art and jewelry and everything imaginable really. Derek seemed to delight from how much it freaked Stiles out when he acted like he was going to buy a squirrel mounted to be riding a motorcycle. 

Stiles had never really imagined Derek had a sense of humor quite that morbid, but if he thought about it, Peter had said he and Derek were once close friends so it made much more sense after some thinking.

What blew Stiles’s mind even more, however, was how interested Derek was in the exhibits when Stiles suggested they go to a museum of cartoon art. He had this whole little speech when Stiles admitted he’d never read MAD before when they got to the exhibit during which he talked about social relevance and the creators and artists throughout the years. Stiles thought maybe Derek just had his own little mental encyclopedia of one random topic after that, but when they reached an exhibit about ‘50 Years of The Avengers’ and Derek became actually offended Stiles didn’t recognize the difference between John Buscema and Neil Adams panels on exhibit, Stiles had to stop.

“Wait, wait, wait.” He looked Derek over. “Dude… how do you _know_ these things? I’m the geek here, you’re the weird, looming, ‘bad boy’ werewolf.”

Derek actually stopped and _blushed_. “I’ve never really mentioned it… but I’ve got a degree in illustration,” he said and Stiles gaped.

“WHAT?!” he cried then flushed and slapped a hand over his mouth when about ten people turned to glare. “Oh my GOD you never bothered mentioning you have a degree?!” He paused. “Or that you can _draw_?!”

Derek shrugged, rubbing at his neck. “It never came up. I don’t draw much. It takes too much focus for our normal level of high-alertness.”

Stiles just stared at him almost in awe. “You draw. I swear, Derek Hale, I learn more about you every day,” he said, shaking his head with a small smile. “Dude, we’re going to buy you a sketchbook and shit before we get on the road.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Stiles, come on-“

“No, really,” Stiles said. “I’m taking tons of pictures on this trip. You can draw stuff.” He batted his eyelashes. “You can even draw my pretty face,” he teased and Derek rolled his eyes so hard it looked like it hurt. 

“Oh my God, I’m going to draw your ugly face so you can see what you really look like,” Derek teased before giving Stiles a shove. “Come on, let’s move before the exhibit staff runs us off for being too slow.”

Stiles just smirked. “Whatever, we’re getting you drawing supplies and you will draw at least something at every stop we make. Even if it’s just something little. Deal?”

Derek made a face but didn’t say no, so Stiles took it as a win. That was totally going in the blog tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, Stiles is running a Travel Blog to keep his family and friends updated without contacting them, right? 
> 
> ~~Well, HERE IT IS!: http://blog.travelpod.com/members/stilesandderek~~
> 
> This website has been done away with. I'm SO SORRY but I don't have anywhere else to host it. If you REALLY want to see the contents, I have a zip file of all the content I can send you if you contact me and give me an email address, but other than that, I'm afraid I have no other way to give you this blog I worked SUPER HARD to compile for this fic. SO SORRY AGAIN!
> 
> That's right! Keep up with their trip! Blog posts will be updated with every chapter (and possibly more posts than chapters!) so be sure to check in every time I update the fic!


	3. Lake Tahoe/Virginia City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so short and not as interesting, but it couldn't be combined with the next day so it had to be this way. 
> 
> Enjoy no feels for once? lol

Day 3: Virginia City, Nevada (via Lake Tahoe)

Derek and Stiles set out after breakfast on their way east. They drove for hours just watching the towns pass and give way to forests and mountains. It was so peaceful that they mostly listened to the music instead of talking. It wasn’t a bad silence, but rather a happy, comfortable silence where they didn’t feel like talking was necessary. As they drove through a small town, Stiles saw a sign turning south that read ‘Lake Tahoe’ and he had an idea. 

“Hey Derek, take the next exit,” he instructed and Derek raised an eyebrow, but signaled to move into the correct lane.

“Where’re we going?” he asked and Stiles pulled up a map on his phone.

“This highway can take us to Nevada probably even faster, but mostly it goes to Incline so we can stop off and see Lake Tahoe.” He stretched back to try and see his screen with the glare. “I think I remember going camping with my parents when I was really little at Lake Tahoe on the Nevada side but I don’t remember what it looks like. So I wanna stop off.”

Derek shrugged. “Sounds cool. I’ve never been. Also this way we don’t have to drive through Reno. Do we still go through Carson City?” he asked and Stiles consulted the map.

“Yeah, but this way it’s a straight line, not a loop.” He put the phone down and looked at Derek. “So what are the chances you brought swimming trunks?”

Derek gave him a flat look. “Do I look like the type to go swimming?”

Stiles scoffed. “ _Weak_! You aren’t going to come swimming with me if we find a sweet spot?” he asked and Derek shook his head, then nodded to the backseat.

“Nah, but I’ll totally make use of the drawing kit you made me buy. The mountains have to be really beautiful at Lake Tahoe.” Stiles perked up.

“Sweet! Do I get to look?” he asked and Derek gave him a stern look.

“Maybe after the trip.” He made an uncomfortable face. “I haven’t sketched in a long time. I don’t want somebody looking at my first few attempts to get back into it.”

Stiles nodded, leaning back in his seat. “I can get that,” he said softly.

When they reached the lake, they drove through Incline on the way to a beach that was on Stiles’s map. When they got there, there were a lot of people on the white sands. They parked and got out and looked around a little before Derek nodded to a path leading across the little peninsula. “Let’s see what’s over there.” They walked over some rocks and came out of the tree line on the other side only to stop and stare.

“Whoa,” Stiles breathed. He turned to Derek to see a surprised look on his face. “Wow, is Derek Hale speechless?!”

Derek looked at Stiles and made a face at him. “Shut up, it’s pretty,” he said and Stiles grinned.

“You admire the pretty view,” he said, gesturing to the huge, white boulders sticking up out of crystal clear, blue-green water, and the gorgeous mountains in the distance. He smirked and winked. “I’m gonna add to it,” he joked, then tugged his shirt over his head and handed Derek his phone before making a break for the water, kicking off his shoes and dropping his shirt on top of them before he reached the water’s edge. Derek watched him run into the water and then dive in and laughed, shaking his head before he clambered up onto one of the big boulders that overlooked the little cove where Stiles was swimming. He took off his shirt, balled it up into something like a pillow, and laid down, holding his sketch pad against his knees as he looked out at the lake and grabbed the pencil from his pocket so he could draw like he said he would.

If later on, the drawing was of Stiles floating on his back in the crystal clear water, eyes shut and peaceful, instead of the landscape… well, nobody was going to see it anyways. 

~

It only took an hour for them to get to their next stop: Virginia City, Nevada. 

Virginia City was once a booming mining town that, in its heyday, had been a central location between Denver and San Francisco. Stiles had chosen to make it their stop for the night – though it was still midafternoon – because of one thing.

He totally wanted to go into a mine. 

Derek thought it was sort of ridiculous, but there were multiple ‘mine tours’ along the way and Stiles was determined to go into an actual mine. When they first arrived, driving through the city, Stiles could tell even Derek was somewhat impressed by the authentic ‘old mining town’ feel. “Told you this was worth it,” he teased and Derek raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say anything,” he said and Stiles shot him a look.

“You judge me with your eyebrows when I mentioned this place. Don’t even deny it.” Stiles leaned against the glass and smiled as they passed a saloon that used to be a bank that advertised mine tours. “That one looks cool. We should go there.”

Derek looked up at the hotel they were passing. “Hey, is that the one we’re at?” he asked, catching Stiles’s attention.

Stiles looked up and nodded. “Yep! The Silver Queen. Dude. This is sooo cool!” he all but squeaked. “Oh my God, I need a cowboy hat!”

“Oh my God, no you don’t,” Derek mocked, then grinned when Stiles glared. “A hat is not your look.”

“I dunno, I think I could pull it off,” Stiles said, then looked at Derek. “You probably could. You’ve got the face for ‘rugged cowboy’,” he said, reaching over to poke at Derek’s cheek. “The cheekbones help.”

Derek swatted at him when he pulled around back of the hotel to park. “Whatever you say, Wild Stiles,” he joked and Stiles groaned.

“You didn’t even TRY!” he called after Derek when Derek got out of the car. Stiles fell into step with Derek as they walked to the front of the hotel and went in to meet the lady at the desk. She stood up when they got there, her costume dress fluttering around her as she walked over.

“Well good afternoon! How can I help you?” she asked, her silver hair falling in curls around her face.

Stiles beamed at her outfit. “Um, a reservation under Stilinski?” he asked and she nodded, going to look it up.

“Yep, room eighteen sound right?” she asked and Stiles nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds like what I was told on the phone,” he said, taking the actual key with a wooden square with an ‘18’ on it. 

“I see you’re only staying one night, huh boys?” she asked Stiles while Derek got out his wallet to give her his credit card. “Not sticking around?”

Stiles shook his head. “Nah, just for the rest of the day before we head on tomorrow.”

She nodded. “Not much of a vacation, huh?”

“Well, we’re on a road trip. Can’t stay too long in one place,” Stiles explained. “We’re heading on east after this.”

She grinned, looking between him and Derek. “Yep, you boys better enjoy yourselves while you’re young! There’s no college breaks once you start having kids you have to feed and house. I don’t blame you one bit. If I was young again, I’d find me a nice, handsome young man and hit the road, too.” She handed Derek his card and the paperwork to sign. When he finished and handed her pen and the sheet back she thanked him and directed how they could find their room. “You boys have a nice evening, now. And feel free to come by if you need any directions or anything else,” she said, giving Stiles a little smirk. “Won’t blame you if you don’t though, so no hard feelings.”

He smiled brightly. “Thanks!” He and Derek went out to get their bags and, even though neither of them had much with them, it was a tight fit going up the narrow staircases and down tiny hallways. When they got to their room, Stiles opened the door and gave a relieved sigh when he saw how big it was.

Derek stumbled in behind him and tossed the bags on the table by the window before turning to put Stiles bags with his. He heard Stiles’s intake of breath and turned to see Stiles walking past him to the window, totally in awe of whatever was out there. Derek didn’t even look, though, because his eyes were finally drawn to the room itself. More specifically the bed situation.

There was only one.

“Uh, I take it you didn’t look at the beds online?” Derek asked and Stiles hummed absently. Derek chortled. “There’s one of them.”

That broke Stiles from his reverie and he jerked around. “What?!” He looked at the one queen bed and then flushed. “Oh. Um…” He gave Derek a sheepish look and Derek waved a hand.

“Stiles it’s okay. It’s a big enough bed. It’s not like you take up much space,” he teased.

Stiles scoffed. “Yeah, and you’ll be singing a different tune when I starfish all over you,” he said, then nudged Derek with his shoulder. “Look,” he said softly, and Derek stepped up beside him, shoulders touching, to look out at the sight of the mountains in the distance out their giant picture window. “It’s so beautiful.”

Derek nodded. “It really is,” he said, letting the silence fall as they stood there, staring out at the mountains in the distance, without saying a word. 

~

Stiles grinned at Derek as they walked into the saloon from earlier. “So. After we do this tour, what are the chances you’ll buy me a beer?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes at Derek.

Derek shot him a flat look. “I let you have what your friends gave you in San Francisco, but I’m absolutely not buying you alcohol. It’s one thing to turn a blind eye, but to straight up provide it? Hell no. _Sheriff_ Stilinski,” he stressed.

Stiles sighed but shrugged. “Oh well, it was worth a shot,” he said, then rubbed his hands together. “Alright. Let’s get our gold mining on!” He pulled Derek over to sign up for the next tour excitedly. 

Derek couldn’t help but think that _maybe_ a mine tour wasn’t too lame if it made Stiles so excited. 

~

By the time they stumbled back to their room it was pretty late. Stiles had insisted on having dinner after the tour, which had turned into walking around the town, which had ended in watching a band play at a different saloon. Neither of them were drinking, but they still had fun making up stories about the different people in costume in the various places they went. It was past midnight by the time they got to their room, trying to stay quiet as they bumped down the narrow halls. 

When they got to their room, Stiles went to the bathroom first, so that by the time Derek came out, Stiles was already curled up under the covers. Derek strode softly over to the empty side of the bed and slid in slowly, only to have Stiles flop over onto his back. “Don’t bother, I’m not asleep yet.”

Derek let out a small, amused huff and tumbled the rest of the way into the bed, pulling the covers up to his chest. “Go to sleep, Stiles.”

Stiles rolled over and faced Derek, who put his arms under his head and looked up at the ceiling. Stiles looked at the side of his face and tucked into his pillow. “Admit it. I had good ideas.”

Derek hummed tiredly. “Yep. Now sleep.”

Stiles looked at Derek’s bare chest and bit his lip, urging his body to _not_ jump on that reaction where Derek was close enough to _know_. “How are you not cold?” he asked, tugging the sleeves of his flannel shirt over his fingers. “It’s freezing.”

Derek groaned and turned his back to Stiles. “I’m warm, now _go to sleep_. We’ve gotta get up early.”

Stiles huffed. “Alright, Grumpy.” He tucked his face into the pillow and sighed. “Goodnight, Derek.”

“Night, Stiles,” Derek grunted. “ _Sleep_.” 

Stiles rolled his eyes but got comfortable and did as he said.

~

If Stiles woke up in the middle of the night with his cheek pressed between Derek’s shoulder blades and his arm around Derek’s waist, it was just a natural reaction to the warmth next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the Travel Blog is updated here: http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/stilesandderek/1/1386655752/tpod.html


	4. Day 4: Moab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Travel blog updated TWICE for this chapter! 
> 
>  
> 
> http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/stilesandderek/1/tpod.html

Day 4: Moab, Utah

Derek and Stiles started the morning early. They had a _long_ drive. From Virginia City, they were back to driving along the highway through hills and beautiful scenery, but absolutely _nothing_ by way of towns. They had to make their first stop along the side of the road to take a piss, even. 

Stiles said it was a ‘manly road trip rite of passage’, but Derek just felt extremely awkward climbing down a steep slope to pee behind a bush so that nobody would get an eyeful when they drove past. 

“Seriously Derek, everybody’s seen a dick before,” Stiles argued dismissively. 

Derek huffed. “Not everybody has seen _my dick_ before.”

“Yeah but you’ve shown it to people before, so clearly there’s nothing weird about it so why be worried?” He hesitated then raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Derek. “Wait, werewolves don’t have weird dicks, right? Like… shaped wrong or something? Scott’s dick looks normal. Isaac’s too. But you were born a werewolf so I guess-“

“Oh my God, my penis is normal, what is wrong with you?!” Derek asked, giving Stiles an incredulous look. “Also, wow, ‘Scott’s dick looks normal’? Exactly how do you know that?”

Stiles gave him a flat look. “First off, we’ve been friends since we were little enough to take baths together. Second, I play lacrosse. We take showers together. Naked. And walk around the locker room in just towels. Nudity is not weird for teen boys.”

Derek gave him a blank look. “Yeah but… you don’t _look_ do you?”

Stiles snorted. “Maybe you pretend not to, but every teenager compares their junk mentally. You catch a glimpse of the guy next to you and sorta go ‘huh, his is a little –insert comparative adjective here- than mine’. It’s totally normal.” He smirked. “Or if you’re me and Danny, you pretend not to look cause people will think you’re _looking_ and secretly admire the scenery-“

“Bullshit, you would get your ass kicked for perving on another guy in the locker room. I don’t believe you,” Derek objected and Stiles snickered.

“Dude, nobody could kick Danny’s ass. Danny is _big_ ,” he stressed and Derek gave him a scandalized look. “Not like THAT!” he said, then hesitated. “Okay, yeah, I’ll admit, I have looked and Danny is absolutely proportionate to his gigantic body down there, but really, man. He’s one of the tallest boys in school and he’s probably got the muscles like yours but he’s so much longer and lankier that he looks thinner. His arms are totally just as big, if not bigger than, yours and you look like you work out for fun.”

Derek shrugged. “I do work out for fun.”

Stiles snorted. “Of course you do.”

Derek smirked suddenly. “You know… you’re not exactly scrawny anymore,” he said, glancing over at Stiles. “Somebody’s been trying to match up to his werewolf friends.”

Stiles frowned. “I’m not really any fatter or anything. I mean, you said I grew into my arms some, but I’m still pretty skinny.”

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you haven’t been working out more?” he asked.

“Nah, dude. I don’t have time.” Stiles smiled, looking down at his body. “Huh, I guess running for my life has done me good after all.” He looked up then leaned closer to the window. “Oh cool! Hey, turn up here!”

Derek sighed. “Stiles, we just peed-“

“No, dude, my bladder isn’t that small,” Stiles said dismissively. “What I mean is, there’s an old UFO crash site in this town.”

Derek shot him a look. “We’re going to look at a field?”

Stiles narrowed his eyes. “Who is the one planning this trip?” he asked rhetorically and Derek grumbled, but took the turn, leaving the highway to enter the small town they were passing through. “Besides, I’m starving. We can totally get lunch.”

Derek shrugged. “Whatever you say.”

~

Derek huffed as they pulled into a gas station parking lot. “This is our big adventure in Moab? We just drove nine hours to get gas?” he asked Stiles, who glared.

“No, you dumbass.” He slid out of the car, then yelped and dove back in. “Oh fuck it’s cold. How is it so cold?! It’s _august_!”

Derek opened his door and got out. “It’s not bad. It’s the desert at night, Stiles. Of course it’s not the warmest-“

“It was like a hundred degrees today!” Stiles argued, fishing for the long sleeve tee-shirt he’d been using as a pillow earlier. He tugged it on as he walked around the car to meet Derek. “How aren’t you cold?”

Derek shrugged. “I told you. Werewolves run warm.”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He walked over towards the jeep parked a few spaces away and Derek followed closer when he saw a man climb out and start towards them. 

“Stilinski party?” the man greeted tentatively, holding out a hand.

Stiles nodded, shaking his hand. “Yeah, that’s us. I’m Stiles, this is Derek,” he said, and the man shook Derek’s hand as well. “Derek, big reveal time. Tada!” Stiles did a dorky little jazz hands wave. “We’re going stargazing.” 

The guy chuckled as he dropped Derek’s hand. “I’m Rob. And yes, I’m assuming Stiles here was keeping this a surprise?”

Derek narrowed his eyes at Stiles. “I wondered why he had me drive nine hours instead of letting us stop and get a room to stay in.” 

Stiles grinned. “We’re on a road trip,” he explained. “I came across your pamphlet at a gas station about two hundred miles back and called to book tonight without him knowing. It’s more fun to pester him,” he said with a smirk in Derek’s direction, earning an eye roll. 

Rob chuckled. “Alright, well, if you’re ready, let’s get going. You guys just follow me and we’ll head out to our spot.”

Stiles nodded to Derek. “You heard the man, let’s go!” he said excitedly, urging Derek towards the car. 

When they got into the car, Derek shot Stiles a look. “Seriously. We’re going stargazing?”

Stiles gave him an unashamed look, chin high. “Yep, got a problem with it?” he asked, then cracked a smile. “C’mon, Derek! The desert sky is going to be the most amazing stars we’ll ever see. Even better than in the preserve. How awesome is that?!”

Derek shrugged. “Whatever you think, Stiles. It might be pretty cool, though,” he admitted and Stiles smirked.

“Exactly.”

When they got out to the spot where the guide took them, there was a small clearly used area with a lady sitting and positioning a few telescopes. When they got out of the car, Rob led them over to the woman and telescopes. “Guys, this is Sheila. She helps out with a little of the astronomy. She has a little more experience than me, so any specific questions and you can ask her,” he said. “We’ve got a small group tonight, Sheila.”

She greeted them. “I can see that. Hi, I’m Sheila.”

Stiles shook her hand. “I’m Stiles, this is Derek,” he introduced and she shook Derek’s hand as well. 

“Well, are you guys ready to get started?” she asked, and Stiles nodded, then glanced at Derek, who was already staring up at the sky sort of in awe and he smirked as he turned back to Sheila.

“I think we are.”

Derek seemed to get into it, as Stiles suspected he would, when Sheila and Rob showed them how to use the telescopes and gave them some guidance on where to look and what exactly they were seeing. With the telescopes, they could see _so much_ but, even without, the sky was just astonishing. After Sheila and Rob finished and started packing up, Stiles and Derek thanked them but made no move to follow when they went to their car and left. Stiles grabbed Derek’s hand and gave him a smile. “Come on,” he said, tugging Derek towards some nearby rocks. They scrambled up the sides, Derek using the hold on Stiles’s hand to keep him from slipping down a few times, until they finally got to the top. 

Stiles sighed as they looked out over the valley beneath them and the stars in the sky above it. “This is just crazy,” he said and Derek squeezed his hand.

“It’s definitely something,” he said. Stiles didn’t bother to drop Derek’s hand, instead twisting to lace their fingers together and step closer to close the gap between their shoulders. Derek raised an eyebrow and Stiles met his eyes evenly.

“You’re warm,” he said simply, as if that was the only excuse he needed to hold Derek’s hand and curl into his shoulder. Derek stared at him for a while, neither of them giving in. Eventually, Derek relaxed and looked out again, Stiles sinking into his side more comfortably until Derek lifted his arm and curled it around Stiles’s shoulders, pulling him more snuggly into his side. Stiles hummed at the warmth and shifted enough to lay his head against Derek’s shoulder, looking out at the stars with him for a while. 

After what felt like hours and minutes at the same time, Stiles reluctantly pouted and sighed. “We probably need to go if we’re going to get to town and sleep somewhere.”

Derek hesitated then looked ahead purposefully as he spoke. “We have blankets and a sleeping pad in the car,” he reminded Stiles. They had packed the blankets and the sleeping pad in the chance that they might have a room with a bed so bad that the floor was preferable to Derek. Stiles had declined the offer for a sleeping pad of his own, but Derek had packed one anyways. 

Stiles bit his lip and looked up at Derek. “You sure?” he asked, looking hopefully up at the stars before speaking again. “I bet it would be awesome to sleep with that over us.”

Derek shrugged as if it was no big deal, but both of them could feel a tension. “Yeah. As long as you’re okay with eating road snacks instead of food tonight.”

Stiles smirked. “Dude, I have some peeps. We should totally build a fire and roast marshmallows.”

Derek looked slightly alarmed. “I doubt it works the same with peeps. Also, who the hell has peeps after Easter?”

Stiles sniffed, head held high as he refused to be ashamed. “I like them so I buy a lot of them. Bite me,” he said, then turned and scrambled down the rock formation to rush to the car. “Peeps, prepare to be roasted!”

Derek just rolled his eyes and made his own descent. “I’ll start a fire,” he said, shaking his head at the absurdity of what they were about to do.

~

Stiles triumphantly brandished his stick bearing a blackened, charred mess of what used to be a marshmallow peep and grinned. “This was a great idea, thanks Derek!” He grabbed an uncooked peep and held it up. “Oh Noooo,” he said in a high pitched, squeaky voice. “You’re a horrible man, Derek! You let him _murder my cousin Fred_ -“

“Oh my God, Stiles, that’s too far,” Derek groaned, though he couldn’t hide a grin when he looked across the fire at Stiles from his spot leaning on his elbows on the sleeping pad while Stiles sat on a rock he’d dragged closer to the fire so he could ‘create his masterpiece’. “You’re making your food talk. You’re regressing to a three year old-“

“You’re no fun,” Stiles interrupted, poking his tongue out at him. He looked at the uncooked peep. “Seriously, he’s such a lame ass, right?” He put on his ‘peep’ voice and made it talk back. “Yes, Stiles! He’s super lame! Someone needs to remove the stick that seemed to have gotten lodged up his ass!” Stiles gasped. “Why Mr. Peep! That was so rude!” He changed his voice again. “It’s only true!”

Derek just stared at him flatly. “Has anybody ever told you you need serious mental help?” he asked, and Stiles laughed, bright and happy. Derek laid back, looking up at the stars and the embers floating up from the fire. “Besides, Mr. Peep doesn’t need to make recommendations he doesn’t plan on following through with,” he said, only to smirk to himself as he heard Stiles splutter, clearly choking on a molten peep.

“Holy shit, did you just make a sex joke?!” Stiles squawked, then flashed him a big, pink-peep-residue-filled smile. “Dude, Derek Hale. Making sex jokes. It’s a miracle!”

Derek gave him a shrug. “Hey, I’ve got a sense of humor. I just can’t show it because it’ll ruin my ‘poor, sad bad boy routine’,” he said, quoting Stiles directly from weeks ago.

Stiles grinned sheepishly. “I was joking?” he tried and Derek raised an eyebrow. “Alright, but really, dude,” he said, sitting up straighter. “You’re a fun guy sometimes. You can be really funny and pretty interesting. But you keep this dark, brooding thing going on and, I get it, your life has sucked a lot, but you don’t have to keep on with the scruff and the leather jackets and the puppy eyes-“

“I don’t make puppy eyes-“

“You’re doing it now!” Stiles said, pointing to Derek’s furrowed brown and wide eyes. “You look like a sad puppy and it’s unnecessary. You’re a smart guy, you’re handsome, you’re werewolf-enhanced athletically, and you can act your way through the awkwardness you keep showing. I’ve seen it,” he added. “You could be a normal person but instead you keep away from others, you’ve only recently made friends with the pack really, and you don’t seek out anybody else’s company.” He gestured between them. “You hang out with teenagers, Derek. You could get a job and have adult friends and do… whatever it is guys in their twenties do when they aren’t in college.”

Derek bit his lip, looking down at the fire. “I don’t know how,” he admitted uncertainly. Stiles blinked. He hadn’t expected an actual answer. “Stiles, turning eighteen doesn’t suddenly make you a ‘grown up’. I don’t have a clue what real life is like. I don’t know how to get a job. Nobody ever showed me because in New York, Laura worked and I went to school. Before that, my dad worked, but I was sixteen, why would I need to know how he got that job? My mom didn’t have time for a job, she was the Alpha. Laura didn’t have a job, my Grandpa didn’t have a job. Hell, Peter was twenty-two then and he didn’t have a job.” He shrugged. “And, even if I had a job, I wouldn’t know how to pay taxes. I don’t know how to cook, I only know how to clean because I always liked doing that when I was a kid since it was calming, and I don’t even have a legal driver’s license-“

“What?!” Stiles interrupted. “Dude, that’s a fake ID?”

Derek raised an eyebrow and Stiles sighed, but gestured for him to continue. “Look, my point is, you act like I’m an actual adult, not just one because of shitty circumstances that made me grow up fast and the law says I’m one. I don’t know how to relate to other people my age because most of them are fresh out of college with some bright outlook on life and I’m lucky I’ve lasted this long.” He looked down. “At the risk of sounding like the ‘sad puppy’ you said I was, I’m as shitty of an adult as I was at being the Alpha.”

Stiles frowned. “Derek, you weren’t a terrible Alpha.” Derek shot him a look and Stiles shook his head. “No, you were an untrained Alpha. You were scared and alone and you did as well as you could, Derek.” He smiled sadly. “You’re a lot like me in this whole thing. I got dumped into the position of being the only normal human in a pack of werewolves and I’ve had to run with it. You’ve had to do the best you could to stay alive same as me.”

Derek looked at Stiles closely. “But you have thrived in this. Sure, it’s sucked a lot for you and you’ve had a rough time, but since I’ve met you, you’re the only one that hasn’t tried to give up and go on feeling sorry for yourself.” He winced slightly. “Jesus, you’re _dying_ and you’re still not just giving up and feeling sorry for yourself, Stiles.” He actually smiled. “It’s actually probably a good thing Scott got bit that night, not you. You’d probably already be campaigning for equal rights for werewolves or something.”

Stiles shrugged. “I’ve thrived in it because all of this stuff has fit what I’ve known my whole life. My mom was a history teacher, so I learned how to research from a young age. My dad’s the Sheriff, so I know how to figure things out and how to proceed from there. I’ve always been taught that you have to do whatever you can to protect people, especially people you care about, and even the ones you don’t still deserve your help just because they’re other human beings and it’s right.” He smiled sadly. “And let’s be honest, you’ve done as best as you can to do the same, Derek. You just didn’t have the chances I’ve had.”

Derek smiled at him. “Scott’s lucky he’s got you because, let’s be honest, if he was the Alpha alone? He’d suck at it.”

Stiles snorted. “Oh yeah, dude. He doesn’t even remember his own social security number, Derek. I have to tell him every time he needs it for something.” Stiles sobered slightly, looking down at the peep he was putting on the stick. “You’ll look out for Scott, right?” he asked softly. He looked up with a sad smile. “You know, when I’m gone?”

Derek sucked in a breath, but nodded. “Of course.” Stiles nodded, looking down at the fire vacantly. Derek cleared his throat and sat up. “Alright, come here and show me the ‘amazing wonders of roasted peeps’, you weirdo,” he said and Stiles glanced up with a smirk.

“Oh man, you’re missing out so bad!” He gathered the peeps and the stick and circled around. He plopped onto the sleeping mat beside Derek and handed him the stick. “Alright, let’s get this party started!” he said and Derek laughed at Stiles’s enthusiasm. After a little trial and error (mostly Derek setting a peep on fire and then sending it flying over the edge of the cliff they were near in his attempts to wave the stick and put it out, which terrified Stiles into thinking they were going to start a wild fire only to look down and see it splatted and unlit a few meters below on an outcropping) Derek finally bit into the molten marshmallow and crusted sugary outside, and moaned in surprise, eyes flying wide as he turned to Stiles. Stiles smirked. “Told ya,” he said and Derek waved a hand until he swallowed and could talk.

“Holy shit, that’s good,” he said in surprise and Stiles gave him a smug look.

“Yep.” He elbowed Derek playfully. “I have good ideas, you know? You should’ve learned that by now.”

Derek licked at his finger and gave Stiles a playful shove right back. “You’re not completely terrible at ideas,” he conceded, then ate the last of that peep. “Gimme another one,” he said, holding the stick out for Stiles to stick a couple more peeps on for them to share.

After all the peeps were gone, Stiles and Derek put out the fire and then laid on the sleeping mat with both blankets wrapped around the two of them. It was pretty cool every time the breeze blew, so they huddled together, talking and looking up at the stars above. Stiles pointed up at something and made a shape. “The only one I can always find is Orion. Anything else and I forget it or just can’t see it,” he said, only to be interrupted by Derek rolling over and flinging an arm around him, head moving from the sleep mat’s pillow onto Stiles’s chest. Stiles hesitated and then glanced down, only to _melt_ when he realized Derek was asleep.

Stiles let his hand drop and curled his fingers around Derek’s forearm. He closed his eyes and moved the fingers of his left hand into Derek’s hair, stroking at it softly. “Nice way of telling me I’m boring, huh?” he whispered, looking back up at the wide open sky above them one more time.

It was so easy to fall asleep under the most beautiful sky Stiles had ever seen with Derek’s warmth draped over him.

~

In the morning, as Stiles sat looking out at the sunrise over the valley, he took a few pictures only to be startled when Derek woke up and wordlessly sat up and laid his head on Stiles’s shoulder, casually draping an arm around his waist. “Come back to sleep for a few minutes,” Derek whispered hoarsely, blinkingly tiredly at the screen of Stiles’s phone as he took pictures. 

Stiles hummed. “I will, this is just too beautiful to pass up,” he said equally as softly, though there was nobody around for miles to hear them.

Derek hummed, nuzzling into Stiles’s shirt sleeve. “Yeah, it sort of is,” he agreed, hand stroking lazily along Stiles’s side. Stiles hummed, taking another photo of the sky out above them and the light on the rocks across from their position as the golden rays bathed the orange and red rocks in a halo of light.

Unknown to a distracted Stiles, however, Derek’s eyes weren’t on the valley or the screen of the phone.


	5. Day 5: Crested Butte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait but it was finals week. SEMESTER DONE! So far I've got 2 As and it's POSSIBLE I might have a third!!! I COULD HAVE A 4.0 THIS SEMESTER! I've NEVER did that!

Day 5: Conundrum Hot Springs 

Derek rolled his eyes when Stiles tried to sell him on exactly why they were going so far off course steeper into the mountains. “We’re going an extra _hour_ out of the way – from what’s already a nine hour drive, I might add – to go see a _two story outhouse_?”

Stiles smirked. “Yep!” He batted his eyelashes. “C’mon, Derek, how COOL is it?! Like… what’s the point? Wouldn’t you just poop on the person down below you?! I wanna _know_!”

Derek stared at him for a long time and then sighed, turning left instead of right. He shook his head. “Why do I like you?” he mumbled and Stiles batted his eyelashes, hands fluttering to his chest.

“Because of my dashing good looks and witty banter!” Stile answered and Derek snorted.

“Maybe I’m just a masochist,” he said and Stiles gave him a downright alarming smirk, eyebrows wiggling slightly terrifyingly. “Ew, don’t do that. You look like you’re about to kill me.”

Stiles pouted. “I was going for sexy-“

“HA! No, no way,” Derek laughed, slapping a hand on the steering wheel. “Oh God, never try to look sexy. Ever.” He shook his head. “That cannot be your attempt at a ‘sexy’ face. You must have sex in total darkness or someone would’ve told you you look like you’re a serial killer,” he joked.

Stiles made a face. “Well how would I know?” he said with a shrug. 

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Because someone would tell you ‘hey, that’s not sexy, I’m putting my clothes back on’. It’s really bad, Stiles.”

Stiles laughed lightly. “I was being dramatic, first off, but what I meant was how could someone who doesn’t exist tell me how bad my sex face is?”

Derek frowned. “What? You’re talking in circles!”

Stiles hesitated, looking over at Derek. “Dude, wait- have you missed the whole ‘Stiles doesn’t have a girlfriend’ thing?” He rolled his eyes. “Dude, Derek, seriously.”

“What?” Derek asked with a shrug. “It’s obvious you don’t have the dramatic whatever the hell is going on with Scott and his weird love triangle that all worked out and things went other directions and what have you, but it’s not like I pay attention to who is dating who. You’re the ones in high school, not me. I didn’t care much for all that stuff when I _was_ in high school.”

Stiles gave him a flat look. “There is a difference in ‘ignores the gossip’ and not noticing that all of this?” He gestured to himself. “Not exactly a girl magnet.” He frowned. “Or boy magnet, Danny still won’t tell me if I’m attractive or not, so I think he’s just trying to spare my feelings.”

Derek smiled supportively. “Hey, not dating much is not a big deal. Hell, with my track record, I absolutely suggest everybody just goes for ‘no relationships ever’.”

Stiles smirked suddenly. “Dude… you totally don’t know, do you?” he asked with an amused chuckle. “Dude, Derek, the only girl I ever kissed was one of the virgin sacrifices. Well, no, Lydia kissed me, but that was cause I was having a panic attack.” He sighed dramatically. “So sad, one of my biggest dreams fulfilled and I was too freaked out to savor the one time I’ll ever kiss Lydia Martin’s perfect lips,” he said dreamily.

Derek’s foot actually slipped off the gas and he turned to gape at Stiles. “Wait, _what_?!” He frowned. “But you used to go to The Jungle all the time-“

“Psh, like four times and all to help Danny make his boyfriend jealous,” Stiles dismissed. “I didn’t even get to make out with Danny for that,” he said, crossing his arms. “Bastard. You know, it’s totally his fault I’m gonna die a virgin? I’d have totally put out! But nooo, apparently they weren’t ‘broken up’ they were just ‘having a rough patch’ so there was no making out or hooking up with other guys, just dancing to make him jealous.” He rolled his eyes. “So lame.”

Derek just shook his head incredulously. “Wow. You only ever kissed one girl,” he said and Stiles huffed.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that,” he defended. 

“No, I’m not making fun of you, it’s just…” Derek snickered. “Okay, don’t tell him I said this, but if _Scott_ can get not one, but _two_ girls to go out with him, then it makes no sense that there be a single person in Beacon Hills that can’t get a girlfriend.”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “You’re telling me?! Derek, I used to be the _less_ weird one of the two of us!” He shook his head with a sigh. “Damn werewolves and their stupid sex appeal.”

Derek just chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, have you seen our track records with relationships? You haven’t missed much.”

Stiles nodded. “Don’t I know it. Swear to God, if Scott had did the Allison moping for one more day I was going to shoot him myself.” Derek snickered, but bit his lip to keep from saying anything.

~

When Stiles and Derek finished up at the two-story outhouse, (it was every bit as lame as Derek predicted), they were fueling up when Stiles saw a parking lot with a few cars but no buildings nearby. As he put his snacks on the counter and handed over some cash, he nodded out the window. “What’re those cars there for?” he asked the clerk.

The old man looked up and smiled. “Ah, hippies,” he said and Stiles blinked. The man chuckled. “There’s a trail over there. It leads up the mountain to the Conundrum hot springs. The hippies like to go up there and camp out. It’s usually more crowded but there’s a music festival a few hours away that a lot of them are at this weekend.”

Stiles hummed. “Hot springs, huh?”

The man nodded. “I went up there a time or two back years ago. It’s a rough hike for old bones like mine, though.”

Stiles looked and thought. “How rough?”

The guy looked him over. “You could probably do it without much trouble. The air’s thin up here, so if you’re from closer to sea level you might struggle some near the top. It’s just over eight miles and climbs three thousand feet in elevation, but if you go slow, you’ll acclimate fast enough.” He looked out at where Derek was pumping gas and chuckled. “I got a feeling your young man won’t have a problem at all,” he said and Stiles glanced out to see how the angle Derek was leaning against the car at seemed to bring every muscle in his body into relief.

“Yeah, probably won’t,” he said and then paid. “Thanks, but one more question,” he said narrowing his eyes. “Where’s the nearest sporting goods store?”

~

When Stiles had suggested they buy camping gear and hike up to camp at the hot springs, Derek hadn’t thought it was too bad of an idea. They had bought backpacks, a small tent, trail food, rain gear for if it rained, some essentials like a fire starter and first aid kit, a battery lantern, and flashlights. They figured they could use the sleeping pad and blankets they had since it was warm still, so they didn’t need sleeping bags. They split the water and food and Derek put the tent and sleeping gear in his bag, since Derek was the werewolf after all.

However, Derek hadn’t considered Stiles’s condition. The first four miles or so, Stiles had had very little trouble keeping up with Derek. However, as the climb grew steeper, Stiles’s breathing grew extremely labored. He was pale and sweating by the time they got to the top of a steep ridge and Derek stopped, taking out his water bottle to give to Stiles. “Here, drink this,” he said and Stiles took a sip and then handed it back. 

“Thanks, let’s go,” Stiles panted and Derek shook his head.

“No, let’s just rest a minute,” he said, reaching out. “And let me carry this-“

Stiles jerked back, glaring. “Dude, what are you doing?”

Derek hesitated, raising an eyebrow. “I’m just trying to help-“

“I don’t need help, Derek,” Stiles said fiercely, glaring at him. He hefted his bag higher and turned and started walking up the path without looking back. “Come on.”

Derek hung his head but followed. He stayed behind Stiles a ways. Stiles was getting slower and his breathing was so ragged sounding Derek was almost worried he was going to make himself sick. When Stiles stumbled over a rock and nearly fell, Derek darted forward, his werewolf speed the only reason he was able to catch Stiles. “Stiles, seriously, let’s stop,” Derek tried, but Stiles shook him off. “Stiles, you have to stop! We should probably even go back,” Derek tried.

“I don’t need your help,” Stiles panted out, turning to face Derek. “And we’re _not_ going back.”

Derek shook his head. “Then let me carry you. I’m more than strong enough for a piggy back ride. Just for a little while. You’re going to hurt yourself like this-“

“Do I fucking _look_ like Bella Swan to you?!” Stiles snapped, cheeks flushed with anger, which only mixed with his sickly pallor and made him look even more ill. “Your broody ass and creeper tendencies may make you a dead ringer for Edward, but I am _not_ Bella!”

Derek blinked. “Should any of that have made sense?” he asked and Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Why did I ever expect you to get a pop-culture reference?” Stiles muttered, then sighed. “Derek. Just… let’s just go,” he pleaded, turning to look at Derek with sunken eyes, pale, sweaty skin, and his chest still heaving as he fought to get oxygen from the thin air. As he looked at Stiles, Derek was struck with the most heartbreaking thought.

Stiles looked like he was dying… because he _was_.

Stiles was shaking, and seemed to be choking on each and every breath he took. “Stiles,” Derek said softly, but Stiles glared. “Stiles, please. Just a few minutes?”

Stiles shook his head, wiping sweat out of his eyes clumsily. “No, let’s just keep going-“

“I need to rest,” Derek said suddenly. Stiles gave him a skeptical look and Derek lifted one foot as if he was favoring his ankle. “See? Twisted my ankle. Ow. Gotta stop, sorry.” Derek ‘limped’ over to a tree and leaned against it, taking off his pack.

Stiles narrowed his eyes at him, but huffed and walked over. He lowered his pack to the ground beside Derek’s and slid down the tree trunk, resting his head on his knees. “Alright, but just a minute. You’ll heal up,” he muttered, making it obvious by tone alone that he didn’t believe Derek for a minute.

Derek nodded but didn’t waste a second using his werewolf-enhanced stealth to sneak the water bottles and a flashlight, a bag of food, and the heavier of Stiles’s jackets out of Stiles’s bag and into his. When Stiles finally got his breathing in check, he lifted his head. “Alright, let’s go.” He hefted his bag onto his bag and frowned, bouncing it some, before shooting Derek a suspicious look, but not saying anything.

Derek shouldered his now heavier pack without any difficulty at all and fell into step behind Stiles, watching him worriedly as the made their way up the trail. No matter how many times he tried to talk Stiles into stopping or taking a break, Stiles just grew more agitated so he eventually gave up, accepting that he had to watch Stiles struggling with a hike that, just a few months ago, would’ve been nothing.

Derek had seen Stiles run five miles before with Scott, Isaac, and Danny like it was nothing. He was skinny compared to them, and a lot weaker, but he wasn’t out of shape. He was still very athletic. Stiles was struggling to hike eight and a half miles now because he was _sick_. Stiles’s first symptoms of the cancer that had spread to his lungs was shortness of breath when playing lacrosse with the others, and now Derek could see how much it had progressed since then. It had only been around a month and Stiles was clearly tiring faster during their days on their trip, but this was something that was undeniable. He couldn’t ignore this and blame it on being tired. Watching Stiles struggling with a hike that someone as athletic as he was shouldn’t struggle on was heartbreaking because it was all a sign of the fact that _Stiles was dying_.

For the past few days, Stiles had been so obviously happy and excitable and it was easy for Derek to forget that soon the bright, energetic young man who exuded _life_ was only going to dim from here on. The one person who never gave up and never let go had chosen to give in and let his illness take him because the alternative was painful and doomed to fail. Derek couldn’t help but feel like something inside of him was cracking as he realized for the first time that it was very likely these few weeks together on this trip would be the last during which he would see that spark of life in Stiles that had become an anchor for Derek somewhere in the course of their friendship. Stiles being there for him had become one constant that Derek could rely on and now he knew that was coming to an end.

And Derek wasn’t sure how to handle the realization that his time with Stiles was drawing to a close and, in the coming months, he would have to say goodbye to another person in his life who had made it brighter. Knowing that Stiles was slipping away from him and there was nothing he could do was torture of the worst kind. At least with everyone else before, it had been a fast break, with no build up and no long, slow decline. All of his losses had cut him to the bone, leaving him raw and flayed open for absolutely no one to see, but this? Witnessing the deterioration of a vibrant light as it dimmed from a blinding beacon to what he knew would eventually be a guttering candle that would flicker out was somehow worse than anything he’d ever experienced before.

He would finally get to say goodbye to someone, but for Stiles’s sake, he knew he couldn’t let show exactly how deeply Stiles was buried in his heart, and because of that, he wasn’t sure a chance to say goodbye was worth this feeling like he was going under and each breath was one closer to the last he would take. 

More than anything, as Stiles slipped away it felt like the last fragile parts of Derek that were unscarred slipped with him. 

~

When they got to the springs, Derek grabbed Stiles’s wrist and tugged him along to a decent camping spot, ignoring the other campers entirely. It could wait until after he had got Stiles to sit down and drink some water and _rest_. Stiles grumbled at Derek, but he was shaking pretty badly as he sat on a rock and sipped some water until his heaving gasps for air settled to softer pants. Derek left him to set up their tent so they wouldn’t have to later and shoved their packs inside. When he turned to go back over to Stiles, he saw Stiles walking down towards the springs where some people were hanging out beside the water and a few were in upper pool. Derek sighed but followed him. It was no use trying to get Stiles to just rest for more than a few minutes, he had discovered. 

“Hey there!” Derek caught up with Stiles just as an aging gentleman in a straw hat and cargo shorts waved to them. “How’re you folks doing?” he greeted. 

Stiles waved and smiled. “Hi. It’s a beautiful day, huh?” he said, looking out at the view beyond the pools of the springs.

“Oh yeah,” the man said, nodding. “The rain probably won’t come in for a while yet. You guys got here just in time.” He offered a hand to Stiles. “I’m Bob and this is my wife, Willow,” he said, nodding to the woman sitting a few yards back on a what looked like a straw mat, clearly meditating. 

“I’m Stiles,” he said, then nodded. “This is Derek.” 

Bob nodded and smiled. “Hi there, Derek. Seems you handled the hike a little better than your friend, huh?” he said, and Stiles chuckled.

“Well, the altitude and illness don’t mix, I guess,” Stiles said, playing it off. He looked out to the pool then hummed. “So Bob, the signs leading up said clothing optional right?” he asked and Bob chuckled.

“Pretty sure all the people in the lower pool are in the nude. Half the upper pool too. Go for it, brother!” he said and Derek cleared his throat pointedly.

“Really, Stiles?” he asked him and Stiles turned back to him, raising an eyebrow.

“Why not?”

Derek narrowed his eyes. “You’re going to run around naked up here?” 

Stiles smirked and started walking backwards, stripping his shirt off over his head. “Magnolia was the one who said ‘Don’t hold back’, and I don’t intend to.” He winked. “No better time to live than when you’re dying, huh?” He tossed Derek his shirt and turned to head down to the springs, greeting people as he passed them. Derek stood there, shirt held in his clenched fist, eyes wide when Stiles stopped next to one of the pools and slid out of his shoes and then his pants, glancing back at Derek long enough to yell, “Hey, come watch my clothes!” before sliding out of his boxers and dropping them on top of the pile before going the last few feet to slide down into the water. 

“Your friend has the right idea, there,” Bob said and Derek gave him a flat look before sighing and following Stiles down to the water.

Derek stopped and dropped Stiles’s shirt on top of his other clothes then crossed his arms as he looked down at Stiles, who had slid under the water. When he came up and rubbed a hand over his face to wipe the water from his eyes, he blinked up at Derek and smirked. “Water’s nice and warm. You should come in.”

Derek just snorted and rolled his eyes. “It’s going to be really funny when your pasty pale ass blinds someone,” he said and Stiles’s smirk just grew slightly flirty.

“I dunno, Mark over there-“ He nodded to a guy at the other end of the pool. “Doesn’t seem to mind too badly,” he said and Derek saw the man in question was openly looking Stiles over. Stiles stood up, leaving him standing totally revealed from the thighs up, and held out a hand. “C’mon, you don’t even have to get naked,” he said, giving Derek a shit eating grin. “Although I vote you do so I can add a picture of your naked ass to my blog post for this-“

“Hell no,” Derek said, then rolled his eyes. “I’m going to get my sketch pad. Enjoy being ogled by old hippies,” he said and Stiles just winked and saluted, turning around to go talk to some of the others down the pool. 

~

Derek came back from changing into a long sleeve shirt at the tent to find Stiles sitting around a lantern with some other campers. There were no fires allowed, but they were all doing well in the moonlight and the lantern. Derek sat down beside Stiles and handed him a bag of chips and a bottle of water. “Eat,” he said and Stiles gave him a smile.

“Thanks, Derek.” He gestured around. “Guys, this is Derek. Ignore him, he’s grumpy,” he teased, shifting to lean against Derek’s legs when Derek sat on the rock behind him. 

“Shut up, Stiles,” Derek grumbled and Stiles just grinned. 

“See? Told ya!” He leaned his head against Derek’s knee and opened his bag of chips. “I was just telling Barb that you were drawing this afternoon,” Stiles started, then offered Derek a chip before shoving a handful in his mouth. 

Derek looked up and met the enthusiastic smile of a woman with crazy bushy curls. “So you’re an artist? Is that why you guys decided to make the trip up the mountain? The landscape is beautiful.”

“Not really,” Derek said simply. “I’m kind of just along for the ride. Stiles is picking our road trip.”

“Oh a road trip?” one of the guys – Mark, if Derek was seeing him right in the dim light – said. “Where are you guys from?”

“Northern California,” Stiles said. “We’re on day… five I think?”

Derek nodded. “Yes, today was five.”

Stiles grinned. “Yeah, day five headed east. A guy at a gas station suggested this hike and camp.” 

Their first friend they spoke to, Bob, turned to Stiles. “You seemed to have a little trouble with the hike. Are you sure it was the best idea? I mean you’re here now, but you still have the hike back down. Downhill is easier but it’s still nearly nine miles.”

Derek tensed and Stiles sighed, letting his head fall against Derek’s knee before lifting it again. “I didn’t expect that,” he admitted. “I’m an athlete, I play lacrosse. I should’ve had that hike easy. I should’ve been able to _run_ the lower half even with the thinner air. Derek kept trying to make me stop and rest and I should have, but I was so horrified at the idea that I couldn’t make a hike like that when I run cross country and play lacrosse.”

Bob frowned. “Well what went wrong? You sure you’re alright?”

Stiles shrugged with a smile. “Well actually I’m dying, but hey, that’s what this trip’s for, you know?”

Derek blinked at Stiles’s openness, but didn’t speak. Bob’s wife, however, did. “Well, you had the right idea,” she said. “Me too,” she added with a chuckle. “I’ve got an aneurism. I could go any minute. Bob and I figured we’d travel the country. See all the sights, do all the tours. We love hiking and camping so this was a must.”

Stiles nodded. “Cancer. Skin cancer I didn’t notice until it was too late and it had spread to my lungs. That’s why the hike was so rough, the lesions in my lungs make me get out of breath faster.” 

Mark chuckled. “So I take it you don’t want any?” he asked, gesturing to the joint he and his friends were passing around.

“Oh I wish, but not with my lungs in the shape they’re in,” he said with a sad shrug. “I’d end up coughing all night.” 

Derek cleared his throat. “ _Sheriff_ Stilinski,” he muttered and Stiles tipped his head back over his knee to look up at him. “Seriously.”

Stiles scoffed. “Derek, that argument won’t work forever-“

“ _Sheriff_. Stilinski.” Stiles poked his tongue out at him. Derek smiled and rolled his eyes.

Stiles yawned and nudged Derek’s knee to the side, leaning back between his legs, resting his head back on Derek’s belly as he settled between his knees. “I’m thinking an early night anyways,” he said, looking up at Derek. “You feel like going to bed when I finish this?” he asked, picking another chip out of his bag. He ate one, then offered another to Derek.

Derek took it and then nodded. “Yeah, you need to rest after today,” he said and Stiles smiled tiredly, laying his head back, elbows resting on Derek’s thighs as he ate. 

When he finished they said goodnight as they got up and left the circle to go back to their tent. It was really small so they stood there for a moment before Stiles finally grabbed their bags and pulled them out. “Alright, I’ll go in first, you get in behind me.” He knelt down and crawled inside and then lay down. 

Derek eyed the space beside him and crawled in, pulling the zipper shut before flopping down. Stiles wiggled, yelping when Derek’s knee caught him in the ribs. When they finally settled, Stiles was sprawled half across Derek. Derek looked up at him, eyebrows raised in amusement, and Stiles cracked up, snickering. He laid his head down and Derek laughed against his hair. “We should’ve checked the size on this tent,” Derek said and Stiles snorted, shifting until he was looking down at Derek.

“How do you wanna do this?” he asked softly. Derek bit his lip, trying not to laugh but Stiles saw his face then blushed and hit him in the chest. “Don’t be a pervert, I’m the one who snickers inappropriately.” 

Derek caught his hips and turned them on their sides. “Here, if we stay on our sides this should work,” he said and Stiles nodded, turning to put his back to Derek as he looked through the mesh part of the tent out at the night sky. “Good?”

Stiles nodded and yawned. “Yeah, I’m good.” Derek’s arm around his waist was heavy and warm. They didn’t need their blankets with the body heat they shared in the small tent. Stiles settled more comfortably and Derek hummed, pulling Stiles closer until he was tucked into Derek’s front like an oversized teddy bear. “G’night, Derek,” he whispered and Derek hummed tiredly, nodding against Stiles’s neck instead of answering.

~

Day 6: Conundrum Hot Springs

Stiles woke up needing to pee. When he was finished he saw the growing line of pink and orange down at the horizon. Instead of returning to the tent, he walked down to the pool and glanced back up at the camp. Nobody else was stirring yet, that he could see. He glanced back at the horizon and smiled faintly as he took off his clothes. He carefully slid into the warm water and looked out at the mist rising up through the valley. It was so beautiful. The very tops of the snowcapped mountains at the far end of the valley were beginning to be hit by the sunlight. He sank lower in the water until only his shoulder tops and head were out of the water.

It was strange how beautiful the sunrise was no matter where he found himself seeing it. Stiles couldn’t remember ever watching one before this trip. He had been awake to see the sun come up, but he had never seen that singular moment before. The first ever was in Moab, and now this. It was beautiful to see the mountains as the sun crept low enough to see their snowy tops lit up bright.

The silence was shattered by the soft lap of water behind him and Stiles startled, turning just in time to see Derek slipping into the water. Stiles’s face remained blank as he watched Derek’s naked form slide beneath the surface. Derek’s eyes met his when he looked up. He didn’t speak as Derek sank low enough that his position matched Stiles’s. Stiles raised an eyebrow slightly but Derek just shook his head gently. He slid up behind Stiles and lifted his hand from the water, the rivulets dripping down his wrist as he turned Stiles’s face back, wet fingers leaving a path down his cheek. Derek’s hand slid down his neck and to his shoulder, leaving wet streaks on his pale skin. Stiles turned back ahead, heart pounding in his chest as Derek’s hand trailed down his arm under the water until he laced the fingers of his left hand through Stiles’s and slid the other around his waist under the water, resting on his stomach. Derek leaned closer until his chest pressed against Stiles’s back, bare skin brushing with only the water between them.

“You’ll miss the sunrise if you look away,” Derek whispered hoarsely, voice thick with sleep. His lips brushed Stiles’s ear and Stiles shivered softly. 

Stiles didn’t say anything, but nodded. He let his body relax, resting against Derek as he pulled the hand laced with Derek’s around his middle so that Derek’s palms were both resting on his middle, his hands resting on the back of Derek’s. Stiles looked ahead, watching as the sun crept lower, lighting up the valley. Derek rested his lips on Stiles’s shoulder, eyes flickering between the sunlight filling the valley and the peaceful and calm expression that graced Stiles’s face.

Stiles caught him looking once the sun had crested the mountain peak and daylight was upon the campsite. He smiled at the soft look on Derek’s face and Derek bit back an awkward smile in return, lips twisting as they rested against Stiles’s shoulder still. Stiles just tightened his hold on Derek’s wrists and closed his eyes, allowing the warm water and Derek’s strong body against his own to keep any worries he had for the day at bay. 

~

That night, as they lay curled together in their tent, Stiles slid his fingers through Derek’s hair as his head rested on his chest and spoke to him softly. “In the morning we should head down. After the trip up, I’m more determined than ever to enjoy what strength I have left,” he whispered.

Derek tensed against him, but nodded, his stubble rasping against Stiles’s shirt. “Where do you want to go next?” he asked and Stiles hummed.

“Not sure, but we’ll decide when we get down the mountain.” He stroked his fingertips along the nape of Derek’s neck. “Any thoughts?”

Derek shook his head. “Your trip. Your decisions.”

Stiles grumbled tiredly. “It’s also your last trip with me, Derek.”

Derek tensed, nails digging into the sleep pad beneath them as he tried to block out the thoughts that sprung from Stiles’s words. He tried to speak but he couldn’t find the words, so he settled on what was easiest instead. “Goodnight, Stiles.”

“Goodnight, Derek.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's travel blog update: http://blog.travelpod.com/members/stilesandderek
> 
> **Edit** :
> 
> I GOT FAN ART FOR THIS CHAPTER! SQUEEEE!  
> 
> 
> Thanks OrangeSanguine!


	6. Day 7: Colorado Springs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MADE A 4.0 FOR THE SEMESTER!!!!!
> 
> I also made my first attempt at crossfit at the gym today. Holy crap I'm sore! 
> 
> So in celebration, HAVE SOME FIC!

Day 7: Colorado Springs, Colorado  
The drive to Colorado Springs wasn’t but a few hours, so when they got there, they had time to go to the Tesla Museum Stiles wanted to go to and still had some time left. The museum had been pretty fun, but Derek was in a mood and Stiles didn’t really understand why. When they passed a sign for a wolf preserve, he couldn’t resist the temptation to go and see how werewolves compared to their canine brethren.

Stiles took of Derek as he drove. “So Derek, contemplation face suits you and all, but cheer up, man! We’re going to see some of your cousins!”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Wolves and werewolves are totally different things. We’re not actually wolf-related-“

“Lies, your hair tests out as wolf hair, therefore there is a DNA similarity,” Stiles countered. 

“Wait, really?” Derek raised an eyebrow and then hummed contemplatively. “Huh, I didn’t know that. It would explain why some alphas can turn into an actual wolf, I guess. But it’s very rare so most of us assume we’re just some form of human with magic in their biology, no actual canine features.

Stiles shrugged. “It would be fascinating to study. If I had more time, I could’ve used Scott as a test subject for so many theories, dude. Lydia and I could’ve done whole studies on it. Hell I might leave notes with theories and things I’ve observed for Lydia.”

Derek tapped his fingers on the wheel. “Hypothetically, what happens if a wolf doesn’t like werewolves and attacks us?”

“You mean _you_ ,” Stiles said pointedly. “You smell all wolfy.”

Derek smirked. “And you slept with a wolfy smelling blanket wrapped around you.”

Stiles cringed. “Oh shit. I’m gonna be wolf-chow.”

“Nah, you’ll be fine. We can calm dogs down, I don’t see why we couldn’t calm down wolves,” Derek said simply. “And if we get eaten at least we died having fun?” he tried and Stiles scoffed.

“YOU will be fine. I will die bloody. So unfair.” He smiled suddenly. “Although if I get eaten, you have to explain to my dad. I’ll laugh my ass off all the way into the beyond with that knowledge.”

Derek cringed. “Oh God, telling your dad I let you get eaten is high on my list worst fears. He’d shoot me. A lot. And it would hurt.”

Stiles gave him a flat look. “My dad would ‘shoot you a lot’. Great English, Derek. Words good, cave man!”

“How about these words: bite me,” Derek countered and Stiles smirked.

“Doesn’t really work that way, you won’t turn human from being bitten by one.” Stiles hesitated. “Right?” he added unsurely.

Derek rolled his eyes – again – and chuckled. “I don’t think it works that way. Although I’ve never been bit hard enough to break skin by a human so who knows? Let’s not find out, I’d hate being human.”

Stiles blinked. “Ewwww that means you having sex with humans is bestiality isn’t it?”

“What? Ew, Stiles!” Derek whined. “That’s messed up-“

“It’s inter-species sex!” he said, making a face. “Oh God, Scott is into bestiality!”

“It is not,” Derek argued. “It’s not like werewolves have sex while transformed… I don’t think,” he added.

Stiles snickered. “You’ve never had sex with another werewolf, huh?”

Derek glowered. “The only ones I’ve met were relatives, adults when I was a kid, or people trying to kill me. So no, not really.”

Stiles hummed. “If a werewolf and a human have a baby, will it be a werewolf or a human? Can werewolves have human babies? Does it change if you’re both born werewolves? Is there a like… pureblood version of werewolves like wizards in Harry Potter?” Stiles mused.

“Either one, yes, not sure, and probably at some point in the past but probably not anymore,” Derek answered and Stiles blinked.

“Wait you know that stuff?” 

Derek nodded. “It’s genetic, so a werewolf and a human could have either one or possibly a hybrid with the senses but no transformation. I’ve never known of a hybrid but it’s possible, apparently. My younger brother was a human and my parents were both werewolves. I think if both parents are born wolves then it’s super rare to have a human baby but my I can’t be sure. That’s just guessing based on the fact my dad was bit, not born. My mom was probably a ‘pureblood’ werewolf but I don’t know for sure about ancestors and stuff. Just that as far back as her grandparents were all born wolves.”

Stiles blinked. “Holy crap, you’re totally Harry Potter if Harry had slept with Voldemort!” he said and Derek gave him a flat look. Stiles cringed. “Crap, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

Derek just rolled his eyes. “You do that a lot.”

“Yep. It’s a curse. But instead of turning into a creature of the night, I have no filter.” He sighed dramatically. “Once I informed Danny that I wanted to lick his back muscles. It wasn’t even like I have a crush on Danny or anything, they just looked like it would be nice to lick them and I blurted it out without thinking ‘oh yeah, that’s creepy’. This is why we weren’t friends before the werewolf stuff. That was in ninth grade,” he said and Derek snickered.

“Believe it or not, I was really smooth when I was younger. I just stopped having friends and stuff when I moved to New York with Laura and forgot how to act like a normal person,” he admitted and Stiles smiled at him, head leaned back on the headrest.

“Awww that’s okay. You’re better than you used to be. You have progressed from Neanderthal to Cro-Magnon, be proud of yourself-“

“I hate you so much sometimes,” Derek said with a smile and Stiles grinned.

“No you don’t, face it, you all love me! The pack would be sad without its pet human!” he proclaimed and Derek laughed, shaking his head.

“Hate you,” he argued playfully. Stiles smiled and looked out the window, relaxing some in the seat as they made their way to the wolf preserve.

~

The wolves _adored_ Stiles. It was hilarious. They hated Derek, some of them wouldn’t even eat the meat he was given to feed them, but Stiles kept getting wolfy kisses. The trainer just laughed when one of them refused to eat meat from Derek but then ate it as soon as he handed it to Stiles to give to them. They had been surprised to find that the tour Stiles booked involved actually going into an area and being allowed to pet and give treats to the wolves. They were only brought over one at a time, but it was still very much more ‘hands on’ than Stiles had expected. 

Stiles petted one small wolf’s furry neck and smiled. “Awww you’re such a sweet girl, but you have to go bye bye.” He let the employee take her away and stood up, patting Derek’s shoulder in sympathy. When the next wolf came in, it broke free from its handler and jogged over, jumping up on Stiles. “WHOA!” Stiles squeaked, stabilizing when he hit Derek’s chest. 

The handler rushed over but all the big, black wolf wanted was to stand with his feet on Stiles’s shoulders and give him kisses. “I’m sorry, he usually doesn’t jump up. He’s so big it’s discouraged-“

“It’s okay,” Stiles said, laughing when he got licked across the eyebrow. “He’s huge!” He petted his neck, smiling up at the wolf that was _taller_ than him. “Man, what did you _eat_ as a cub?”

Derek reached around Stiles carefully to pet the wolf, and for once, he just turned and licked Derek’s hand, rather than draw away. “Hey, you’re not running away,” Derek said and Stiles smirked.

“Dude, how big is he?” Stiles asked the handler.

She smiled. “Well, Shunka is about seven feet tall standing like that, and he weighs over one hundred and forty pounds.”

Stiles whistled. “Holy crap, I’m down to about one forty now.” He ruffled the wolf’s fur when he dropped back on his feet and still came up to Stiles’s waist. “Man, you’re bigger than me!”

Derek knelt down and looked at Shunka with a sad smile, reaching out to pet his thick black fur. “He’s a beautiful wolf,” he said and Shunka nudged at Derek’s hand until Derek gave him a treat. 

Stiles frowned as he saw the faraway look on Derek’s face but stood back, letting Derek feed the wolf until they were done. 

~

When they were getting ready for bed, Stiles came out, toothbrush in his mouth and waved a hand. “So hey, what was up with the wolf today?”

Derek looked up from where he was laying on one of the beds with Stiles’s phone open to look at their travel plans and raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Stiles made a face. “You got all…” He flapped a hand. “Sad looking. With that last one. The big black wolf.” He put his toothbrush back in his mouth and resumed brushing while Derek stared down at the bedspread. He raised an eyebrow expectantly and Derek looked up slowly and patted the bed with a pointed look.

Stiles went and spit out toothpaste and rinsed before going to jump onto the bed, legs curled under him as he faced Derek. “Alright, spit it out, Sourwolf.”

Derek smiled with a hint of amusement. “Haven’t heard that in a while,” he said and Stiles gestured for him to get on with it. “Okay, so… you know how certain werewolves can turn into an actual, full-fledged wolf?”

“Yeah, your mom was, right?” Stiles asked and Derek nodded with a soft, sad look in his eyes.

“She was big and black, just like that wolf today. She even had the long, thin face like that one did. She didn’t have white patches like he did, but she looked so much like that and it reminded me of her,” Derek admitted softly. “When I was little I thought- I thought it was the coolest thing, you know? I remember when I was sick one time, because I only ever got sick a few times in my whole life, I was really little, like eight or nine, and she spent all night in wolf form in my bed with me to keep me warm.” He sighed and leaned back against the pillows. “I hadn’t thought about her like that in a long time.”

Stiles nodded in understanding. “I get that. Sometimes…” He hesitated then swallowed. “Sometimes things will get stressful and I wish so bad that I had my mom because all I want to do is let her hug me and tell me everything will be okay like when I was little. All these years and I still have some points where I miss her so much I can’t breathe.” He looked up and gave Derek a small smile. “It’s been a shorter amount of time and you were older, so I imagine it’s worse for you. Especially since it wasn’t just your mom.”

Derek chuckled weakly. “I miss them all, but more than anything, I miss Laura. It has to be weird to you, but to someone close to their siblings like I was, and especially since at the time, she was all I had, it makes sense.” He ran a hand over his face. “It’s like you said. Some days I just want more than anything to ask her what to do and if I’m doing things wrong.” He cringed. “I screwed up at being an alpha so badly I really bet she would’ve been ashamed of me for never learning from her. I mean she wasn’t the best alpha, but she only had me so she didn’t have to be an alpha, she just had to be my sister.”

Stiles shook his head. “She would’ve known you were never meant to be the alpha. I gave you so much shit for it, but it’s not like anybody else could’ve did it better. A lot of shit’s happened since I met you.” He leaned on his elbow beside Derek and smiled at him. “First time I ever saw you-“

“You thought I was a serial killer?” Derek asked with a snort. 

Stiles’s lips curled at the edges slightly and he looked at Derek closely. “Actually, the first time I ever saw you, I was about nine. You and your sister got busted for trespassing and my dad picked you guys up and I was at the station while you guys were waiting for your mom to come get you,” he said and Derek looked up in surprise.

“Whoa, I’d forgot all about that. I’d have been like fourteen or fifteen then,” he said and Stiles nodded. Derek smiled. “Me and Laura used to wander too far past the borders all the time. That time the land owner caught us and called the cops. My mom nearly killed us for that,” he said and Stiles nodded.

“I can’t say anything, do you know how many times my dad picked me and Scott up walking down the road out in the woods?” he asked, grinning impishly. “We were already sneaking around in the preserve long before the night Scott got bit. I just had a getaway car by then so we got caught less often.” He rolled onto his stomach, looking at Derek. “Anyways, I had just lost my mom and I remember…” He made a face as he fought to remember details. “I remember thinking that your sister. She reminded me of my mom. She kept hugging you and telling you it would be okay. I remember her petting your hair and stuff and my mom did the same thing. I remember less about you from that night than I do your sister.” He smiled sadly. “I think I was so comforted seeing someone who had some of the same characteristics of my mom that, if memory serves correctly, when your mom got you guys and left I actually cried because Laura was going away.”

Derek swallowed hard, smiling with shimmering eyes. “Laura was like that. She would’ve loved you,” he said, then grinned. “God, you two. You would’ve taken over the world together by now if you’d met her not me. If things had gone the other way and I’d died and Laura came looking for me, you guys would’ve probably been ruling small armies by now.”

Stiles’s stomach lurched at the thought. As much as he hated it for Derek, the idea of having never met Derek was enough to make his heart twist in his chest. He bit his lip and looked closely at Derek. “I know this is probably a horrible thing to say,” he started weakly. “But I’m really glad it was you I met.” Derek raised an eyebrow in surprise and Stiles shrugged. “No matter how differently things would’ve gone, I don’t like the idea of having never met you, Derek,” he said softly. He reached out and nudged his hip absently. “Through everything, you listened to the things I said. You may not have wanted to, but you did. And it paid off. Everybody else counted me out so many times but you at least heard what I had to say.” He smiled up at him. “Also, you’re pretty good to me now. Things weren’t great to start with, but you’re one to show someone how much you care and it’s something I wouldn’t trade for anything.” He gestured around them. “Case in point.” 

Derek looked at Stiles for a while before reaching out to touch his hand. “I wouldn’t do so much if I didn’t care about you.”

Stiles nodded, looking into Derek’s eyes searchingly. “I know.” He slid his fingers to tangle with Derek’s then looked around. He looked over at the other bed, which was his, and then at his spot lying beside Derek. He sighed and started to slide across the bed, but Derek tightened the hold on his hand. He looked back at Derek, who just met his eyes steadily. He hesitated for a moment as he and Derek stared at each other before making his decision. He let go of Derek’s hand and Derek looked almost ready to frown before Stiles stood up and pushed back the covers before sliding in beside Derek.

Derek gave him a searching but pleased look and silently reached out and turned off the lamp. He shuffled to lay down and when he stilled, Stiles wasted no time rolling over and sliding an arm around Derek’s middle, pressing his face into the back of Derek’s shoulder. Derek started to turn but Stiles shushed him softly, patting his middle. “Sleep,” he breathed against Derek’s skin and Derek settled down. He leaned back into Stiles and made a pleased sound as he fully relaxed, letting the tension drain out of him. 

Stiles closed his eyes and refused to think about it. He could question his decisions to sleep beside Derek when he had his own perfectly good bed later on. Now he was too damn time to bother with it.

~

Day 8: Dallas, Texas

They hadn’t had plans on necessarily going to Dallas, but when they realized that they wouldn’t get much further south than Dallas from Colorado Springs that day, Stiles pulled up a search for rooms to book and found a landmark called Reunion Tower and its attached hotel. Derek had simply shrugged when Stile suggested it and Stiles wasted no time booking a room. It was already five by the time they arrived so they went to check in immediately.

Derek didn’t say anything at all when they got to the room and there was only one bed. Stiles wasn’t sure if he had wanted Derek to say something and finally address whatever the hell it was they were doing, or if he was glad Derek let it stay unspoken so as not to rock the boat. 

When they went up to the observation deck to look out at the city, they both kept pointing things in the distance and, much to Derek’s annoyance, Stiles kept snickering every time he heard or read something that referred to Dallas as ‘Big D’. After their visit to the observation deck, they went to dinner at a restaurant in the hotel rather than bother going out. They were both far too tired for that. When Stiles asked Derek to buy him wine with his dinner, Derek didn’t deny him, even if he limited him to one glass. There was no argument of ‘Sheriff Stilinski’ this time. Stiles almost missed Derek arguing.

When they went to bed that night, Derek didn’t even pretend to think twice about wrapping his arms around Stiles and pulling him flush, curled around him so entirely that his knees fit into the back of Stiles’s knees and there was no space at all between their bodies. Stiles waited until Derek was asleep before twisting around just enough that he was laid more on his back, head resting on Derek’s chest, so that he could pull out his phone and pull up his travel blog. 

He really didn’t know what to say about the day, so he only wrote one sentence before putting his phone away and curling back into Derek’s arms to be lulled to sleep by Derek’s warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, travel blog update (two this time) here: http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/stilesandderek/1/tpod.html


	7. Day 9: New Orleans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is probably going to cover 4 days of their trip. It was going to be 2 chapters but it's just pointless to make it into filler when there's mainly ONE real 'event' on day 14 after small non-events on 11, 12, and 13.
> 
> So basically, what I'm saying is, this fic is PROBABLY going to be 11 chapters in total.

Day 9: New Orleans, Louisiana

Derek and Stiles arrived at their hotel in the French Quarter late in the afternoon, they had just enough time to check in and leave their bags at the concierge desk, walk down the street, and pick up something to eat while they walked, because Stiles had booked them for a cemetery tour at eight.

“No, Derek, really!” Stiles said, licking his fingers as they walked and attempted to eat without spilling food all over themselves. “It’s a ghosts and vampires tour!”

Derek rolled his eyes. “There are no such thing as vampires, Stiles. You can’t really believe in ghosts either.”

Stiles shot him a pointed look. “Says the _horror movie creature of the night_.” He rolled his eyes. “I’ve been cursed by a fucking tree before, Derek. My friends are werewolves. You expect me to think vampires and ghosts aren’t possible?”

Derek chuckled. “Alright, fair point.”

“I know it is! VAMPIRE STORIES!” Stiles said excitedly. “This is gonna be awesome! Just you wait,” Stiles proclaimed. 

When they got to the pub where the tour group was meeting forty minutes early, they sat down to wait and Stiles glanced at the bar. “Hey Derek,” he started but Derek gave him a flat look.

“No.”

Stiles pouted. “Awww, you didn’t even let me ask, you don’t know what I was gonna say!”

Derek hummed. “Alright, ask.”

“Will you buy me a-“

“No,” Derek said and Stiles huffed. Derek sighed and rolled his eyes. “I bought you wine last night at dinner-“

“One glass!” Stiles argued.

Derek shrugged. “You’ve got cancer. You get dehydrated faster as it is. We’re about to go walking around on a hot, humid night. I’m not putting dehydrating alcohol in your system.” Stiles poked his tongue out at Derek and Derek rolled his eyes. “Also, you’re behaving like you’re twelve.”

Stiles just smiled at the amused look hidden in Derek’s eyes.

~

Stiles skipped along ahead of Derek, turning to walk backwards. “I totally saw a ghost-“

“You did not, you saw your own shadow-“

“GHOST!” Stiles countered, stopping when Derek grabbed his wrist to keep him from backing into traffic.

“Shadow. Now look where you’re going,” Derek directed.

Stiles simply twisted around and curled his hand around Derek’s, pulling him across the crosswalk when the light changed. “Come on, coffee and beignets sounds good right now,” he said, tugging Derek over to an outdoor café that was still open. 

Derek made a face. “Coffee and sugar after ten? Really, Stiles?” he asked skeptically but Stiles just poked his tongue out at him. 

“I’m on vacation, I’m in New Orleans, and I’m going to have beignets!” Stiles countered. “Will it really hurt if I’m up late?” he asked and Derek gave him a pointed look.

“I’m the one who won’t be able to sleep cause you’re wiggling around,” he grumbled but didn’t argue again when he followed Stiles to a table. They sat down while they waited for their coffee and beignets and Stiles pulled out his phone to post about their day on the travel blog and then start planning the next day for them.

“So I think we’ll do the World War Two museum first, before lunch,” he suggested, looking up at Derek for confirmation.

Derek raised an eyebrow. “You want to go to a World War Two museum?”

Stiles smiled. “You said it looked cool when you saw that thing today,” he said with a shrug and Derek smiled back, a little touched by Stiles’s consideration. He shouldn’t be, he knew that Stiles was that kind of person, but he was still not used to having people pay that much attention to his interests. Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of their order, and Stiles wasted on time taking a giant bite off of a beignet and moaning obscenely. Derek actually covered his eyes when the table next to them turned and looked at him with concerned looks. “Oh my God, Derek, it’s like an orgasm in your mouth!” he said a bit too loudly. Derek’s only consolation as that he was speaking with his mouth full so most people wouldn’t have known what he said.

He hoped.

Derek’s lips twitched and he eyed Stiles with an amused look. “Do you need a minute alone with your pastry?” he asked and Stiles gave him a half-hearted glare.

“Eat one and I bet good money you’ll want to go find the cook and marry them,” he proclaimed loudly. 

“Yeah right,” Derek said, picking one up. He eyed it and then took a bite. He fully expected Stiles to be exaggerating, but when the taste actually hit him, he stopped chewing and his eyes widened as he looked at the pastry in his hand. “Muh?!” he mumbled with a mouth full of food and Stiles smirked.

“Told you,” he said, merrily taking another bite of his. Derek managed to chew and swallow his before shaking his head.

“There is no way that’s an actual taste. No way.” He looked up at Stiles just smirked. “No, really, that can’t be normal.” He gestured to it. “I don’t even like powdered sugar, but I swear to God, Stiles, this is like… the most amazing thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Stiles just chuckled. “Yep. I’ve had beignets before. These are definitely the best. Try the coffee, it’s really good too,” he said, and Derek did so, then stared at his plate like it was going to bite him. 

“It’s magic,” Derek joked suddenly and Stiles laughed out loud. Derek smiled playfully. “I’m serious, it’s gotta be. Or drugs. I’m not sure if there’s something out there that’ll work on a werewolf, but you never know,” he said, stretching his legs out under the table as he sat back and ate the rest of his beignet.

Stiles just chuckled as he uncrossed his ankles, putting his feet on either side of one of Derek’s legs so Derek had space. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we discovered Derek Hale’s weakness. The mighty beignet,” he said playfully.

Derek smiled a little as he finished his beignet and licked his fingers. “I’ve changed my mind. Let’s stay here for the rest of the summer and get fat,” Derek suggested and Stiles stared and then burst out laughing. “What?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow.

Stiles snickered. “I just imagined you fat. Oh wow, have you ever been fat? Were you a fat kid?! Scott was a little fat when he was a kid. I wasn’t, but I can totally imagine you with a fat face,” he teased.

Derek made a face. “I wasn’t ever fat. I did have the boyish baby fat cheeks, but I think that happens to all boys in middle school,” he sat up some, but Stiles caught his leg with his feet, refusing to let it go. Derek raised an eyebrow but Stiles wasn’t looking as he ate another bite with one hand and scrolled through something on his phone with the other.

“Hmm, I think after the museum tomorrow, we should go to the Marie Leveau house of voodoo.” He snickered. “I can buy a voodoo doll making kit and screw with Scott since I’ve actually got a little bit of magic in me,” he joked. 

Derek nodded. “Sounds good. As long as we can eat here for lunch again,” he said and Stiles looked up with a smile, only to have it fall away into something more privately amused as his eyes flickered to Derek’s mouth. “What?” Derek asked with a frown. 

Stiles chuckled. “Dude you have powdered sugar all in your beard.”

Derek made a face. “Ew, how bad?” he asked, rubbing a hand over his mouth. “Better?”

Stiles snorted. “Now you just rubbed it into your cheek.” Derek tried again and Stiles rolled his eyes. “Oh God, just come here.” He leaned over the table and Derek grew still, but he didn’t stop. Stiles brushed the powdered sugar out of Derek’s beard from where he’d wiped it from his chin to his cheek and then stopped. “Holy-“ He stroked Derek’s cheek again and gaped. “What the hell, your beard is seriously soft. How do you _do_ that?” he asked, staring at Derek’s cheek as he stroked his fingers across his jaw, only to stop and flush when he realized what he was doing. He cleared his throat and pulled back, putting his hands in his lap. “Sorry for fondling your face?” he offered with a sheepish smile.

Derek cleared his throat, but rolled his eyes. “I have straight hair, so when it’s grown out this long it’s softer than if I had curly hair.”

Stiles just smiled a little awkwardly. “It’s kinda weird. I can remember you clean shaven, but it’s weird. You looked so _young_ ,” he stressed. 

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Is that good or bad?” he asked and Stiles shrugged.

“Generally I prefer a guy clean shaven, but a little scruff does wonders for your bone structure, dude.” He grumbled. “As if you weren’t stupidly hot enough, you have to have perfect cheekbones, too. So unfair,” he said with a dramatic sigh.

Derek snorted. “You don’t get to talk about cheekbones, Stiles.” Stiles raised an eyebrow and Derek gestured to his face. “If you haven’t noticed, you’ve got pretty great cheekbones. Especially since you’ve gone from ‘kid’ to ‘young adult’. As tall and thin as you are, it’s like I’m walking around with a model.”

Stiles smirked and fluttered his eyelashes dramatically. “Why Derek! Are you calling me pretty?” he teased and Derek rolled his eyes, throwing a straw paper ball at him. 

“We talked about not giving you an ego back in San Francisco. Take a compliment and let it go,” he teased and Stiles snickered.

Stiles looked down at his coffee suddenly and looked up with a sad smile. “I look like my mom. Less now that, like you said, I kinda grew a ‘man’ jaw, but I still look a lot like her. I forget sometimes that that probably means I’ve got a nice face because she was beautiful,” he said softly.

Derek nodded, sharing his sad smile. “I look like mine. You can see it in Peter and Cora, too. The Hale is strong in all of us,” he joked.

Stiles grinned. “You three are definitely all very similar looking. It’s the forehead and cheeks.” He snickered. “Did your mom have giant muscles like all of you do, too?” he asked and Derek shrugged.

“Well she was a really strong alpha, so yeah. Sort of,” he said, narrowing his eyes at Stiles as if daring him to joke about it. “Was your mom skinny and tall, too?”

Stiles actually laughed. “Dude she really was. She was almost as tall as Dad is, and he’s not exactly short.” 

Derek smirked. “You may look like your mom, but you have your dad’s attitude. I swear to God, ten minutes around your dad and ten minutes around you is all anybody needs to know you’re father and son.”

Stiles preened. “Hey my dad’s awesome, that’s far from an insult! Funniest guy I know,” he said. “You and Cora are scary alike, but Peter’s more amusing. Terrifyingly so, but amusing,” he clarified. 

“Well you know what they say about psychopaths being charming,” Derek said and Stiles laughed and untangled his feet from Derek’s ankles, leaning back so they could finish their coffees and go. 

On the walk back to the hotel, Stiles nudged Derek with his elbow, hands in his pockets. “You know, you’re pretty charming too, once someone knows you,” he said and Derek gave him a skeptical look. “I’m serious. You’re funny and sarcastic and sweet sometimes,” he said, earning an awkwardly disbelieving glance. Stiles shoved him playfully. “Shut up, you are sweet when you want to be. It just takes getting you on your own where nobody will accuse you of actually being a nice person,” he explained. “This whole trip has been nothing but funny, amusing, and sweet Derek.” He shrugged slightly. “I like it. It’s nice to see the real you, the one that isn’t afraid of being judged.”

Derek deflated a little. “I guess it’s because I know you won’t change your opinion of me no matter what I do. You could see the real me before anybody else even tried,” he said, looking up at Stiles. “You’re a pretty good person, too. Nobody bothers looking past the hyperactive nerd, but you’re probably the most conscientious of us all. It’s nice to get to see you be you without anybody bugging you about it,” he admitted.

Stiles gave him a soft smile. “Thanks,” he said, and Derek nodded, not breaking their eye contact as he smiled back.

“No reason to thank me, but you’re welcome either way.” He looked up and then glanced back to Stiles. “Time to head back, don’t you think?”

Stiles looked up the street and nodded. “Yeah, I think so,” he said, falling into step beside Derek, shoulders brushing as they walked in silence, both busy thinking and stealing glances to carry on a conversation.

~

Day 10:

A day spent shopping hadn’t really been either of their idea of a good time, but New Orleans seemed like a good place for buying everybody gifts. Stiles shopped all over the French Quarter for the perfect things to mail home while they continued east. They ended up checking out several voodoo shops before they found a book that Stiles thought Lydia would like. 

Derek was surreptitiously looking through the books for anything related to improving someone’s health when a woman came over. “Anything I can help you with?” she asked, looking him over with searching gray eyes that seemed out of place with her dark hair and skin. She looked, to Derek, like the depiction of a werewolf in fiction. He could feel the magic in her and it was pretty disconcerting to find an actual magical person working in a touristy voodoo shop. She eyed him almost as if seeing through him. “You seem to be looking for something specific.”

Derek swallowed and nodded. “I’m not the biggest fan of this… stuff,” he said, cringing at how harsh that sounded. “I have a bad history with it.”

She smiled knowingly. “I can tell.” She leaned closer. “But you’re searching for something in particular.”

He looked at the shelf of books he’d been reading the spines of. “Any chance there’s something in here to help promote healing in a human- I mean person?” He corrected himself fast, surprised at himself. He’d never called someone a ‘human’ around other humans. It was one of the first things werewolf children learned. However, he had a feeling she wasn’t exactly human so it had slipped out.

She smiled sadly, glancing across the shop at Stiles. “Unfortunately, my dear, there are potions and prayers for wealth, love, success, and happiness.” She looked back at him regretfully. “But mother nature is hard to interrupt. It will take stronger magic than anything we have here to heal him,” she said softly. “He’s dying a natural death. There isn’t much to be done for such.”

Derek swallowed down a momentary rising panic and took an even breath. “I’ve seen things to suggest nothing is impossible,” he said vaguely and she tilted her head.

“I know. And I wish you well.” She looked at Stiles and smiled sadly. “He has a glow in him. You probably can’t see it, but his aura is bright even as it grows dimmer in the growing darkness that’s taking him. Even as death reaches out for him, he’s so _alive_.” She actually appeared to grow misty eyed. “The boy is a beautiful soul. There’s a darker side lurking beneath the surface, but more than anything, he is _good_ and that goodness is beautiful. The world will be a dimmer place when his glow diminishes.”

Derek sighed. “Thanks for trying to help,” he muttered before leaving her side to go see what Stiles was doing. 

It wasn’t until they got outside and stopped for smoothies in the hot, humid, august air, that Stiles reached into the bigger bag that held all his smaller bags from their shopping trip and came back with a bracelet. He picked Derek’s hand up from the table and slid the bracelet around his wrist.

Derek eyed it curiously. “What’s this?” he asked as he eyed the black string bracelet with three little carved, wooden skulls.

Stiles pulled the strings tight and tied them to keep them from coming undone again. He smiled as he sat back some, fingertips trailing over the bracelet strings. “It’s a protection bracelet,” he said softly, looking up at Derek with an almost regretful but wistful smile. “I figured maybe it can keep you safe since I won’t be there to look out for you.”

The way he said it was lighthearted, but Derek knew Stiles could feel the heavy weight of his words as they settled between them in the silence. It was like a stone had settled in the pit of Derek’s stomach to think of how sincere Stiles was in his wish to keep Derek safe even after he was gone. Stiles carefully curled his hand around Derek’s wrist and held onto it, even after they both went back to their smoothies. 

~

That night, Stiles wanted to go to dinner at a jazz club. “It’s New Orleans, you can’t have a trip to New Orleans without jazz music!” Stiles had proclaimed that afternoon, so Derek hadn’t complained. The place they went was actually pretty nice, in spite of the crowds of dancing people they had to wade through to get to a table. Their waitress recommended the specials and they both ordered whatever she suggested (it was too loud to hear what she actually said) and it was actually pretty great. 

“You know, I’m not sure what this is, but it’s good,” Stiles said, looking at a piece of meat from his stew. “I think it’s some kind of poultry.”

Derek looked at a spoonful then ate it, thinking hard. “Might be reptile? Turtle maybe?” he suggested.

Stiles eyed it critically. “I think it’s rabbit,” he tried, then shrugged and ate another bite. “It’s good. Goes well with the shrimp,” he said and Derek nodded.

“I think I like this food. I need to learn to cook stew,” Derek said and Stiles rolled his eyes.

“You put stuff in a pot and leave it there, Derek,” he said with an amused look. “It’s the easiest stuff to cook. Doesn’t take any sort of skill.” He gestured to him. “Now quiche, that’s harder to cook. Never tastes right,” Stiles said with a grumpy look.

Derek raised an eyebrow. “You can cook?” he asked and Stiles gave him a flat look.

“Who do you think cooks dinner in my house?” he asked pointedly. He sipped his drink and shrugged. “In the summer I used to get bored so I’d practice new recipes. The only time I really fucked up I attempted to flambé something and I set the kitchen curtains on fire,” he said and Derek choked on his water. Stiles smirked. “But after my neighbor saw me trying to put out the flames through the window and called the fire department, I got ‘rescued’ by this really hot firefighter and those curtains were ugly anyways, so I don’t count that a total loss,” he said, snickering. “And that’s the story of how I figured out I might like dudes,” he joked. “This guy wasn’t but about ten years older than me so he didn’t look old and the helmet did wonders for his face shape.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Only a teenager would think setting his house on fire was worth the hot firefighter,” he said and Stiles smiled sheepishly.

“Everybody’s a little crazy at fourteen,” he joked, then paled suddenly, eyes on his plate. He glanced up at Derek with his bottom lip between his teeth and Derek rolled his eyes.

“Stiles, it’s okay-“

“No, dude, that was such a dick move of me to tell _that_ story,” Stiles said earnestly. “I’m so sorry-“

“Stiles,” Derek said gently, smiling at him. “If I couldn’t handle mentions of house fires, I wouldn’t be able to watch TV, or talk to people, or watch movies. I’m not going to freak out on you.”

Stiles just sighed. “I’m still sorry,” he said and Derek just gave him a small smile.

They let it drop, and continued on with their conversation about Stiles cooking. However, by the time Derek had finished eating, he noticed Stiles had barely eaten any of his food. “Maybe if you talked less, you could eat more,” Derek joked, but Stiles just looked at his bowl and shrugged, rubbing at his wrist awkwardly.

“I just… don’t get that hungry anymore,” he admitted. He pushed his spoon around some, looking down. “One of my first ‘symptoms’ was that I’d lost weight. That was from the cancer making my body not take in the nutrients from what I did eat. Now I’m to the point I just… don’t get too hungry.”

Derek’s chest tightened as he looked at the way Stiles said it. “Are you just not hungry or do you not want to eat?” he asked uncertainly.

Stiles shrugged. “Not hungry and don’t want to eat. I eat some, but sometimes even though I’m hungry, I just don’t feel like eating.” He pushed his plate back. “Fuck, this is depressing,” he said, looking out at the dance floor. “Come dance with me,” Stiles said suddenly and Derek blinked, staring at Stiles blankly. Stiles snickered. “Don’t tell me you don’t dance-“

“I don’t, but I’m pretty sure neither do you,” Derek argued, smiling in amusement. 

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, what do you think I was doing with Danny to try and make his boyfriend jealous? I can dance-“

Derek snorted. “You fall down walking across the room sometimes, Stiles.”

Stiles flushed. “That was one time!” he argued, then stood up. “Fuck it, I’m gonna dance. You gonna make me dance alone?” he asked and Derek cringed.

“I really don’t dance-“

“It’s jazz, I’m not asking you to get out on the dance floor and shake your ass,” he teased and Derek groaned. 

“But Stiles-“

Stiles laughed. “Only one I promise,” he said, holding out his hand. “Then you can sit down. C’mon, Derek, I can’t dance by myself.” He pouted playfully. “Please?”

Derek grumbled but stood up. “Fine,” he said, rolling his eyes when Stiles threw his arms up in victory. He shoved him towards the dancers. Stiles laughed and pulled Derek after him into the fray by his hand. 

As they danced, Derek was actually surprised how gracefully Stiles could move when he wanted to. He had presumed Stiles’s idea of dancing would be mindless flailing, going by his clumsy nature. Derek wasn’t the most graceful person, but he didn’t make a fool of himself at least. Unlike Stiles, whose long, lean body had a certain grace to it when moved the right way, Derek was stocky and lacked any real fluidity to his movements. But dancing made Stiles smile, which he counted as a win.

When the band started playing a slow song, Stiles glanced around them at the couples who seemed to have suddenly got a lot closer to each other, and then at Derek sheepishly. Derek just shrugged and slid his hands to Stiles’s hips, pulling him closer. Stiles blushed slightly, but didn’t say anything. He rested one hand on Derek’s bicep and leaned closer, sliding his right hand around the back of Derek’s neck. Derek swallowed some when Stiles leaned closer. For a split second, Derek really thought Stiles was about to kiss him. In that one terrifying moment, Derek forgot to breathe.

However, Stiles shifted at the last moment and rested his cheek against Derek’s. Derek let out the breath he’d been holding, but as he rested his hand on the small of Stiles’s back and closed his eyes at the soothing sensation of Stiles’s fingers stroking at the hair on the back of his neck, he couldn’t deny a small wave of disappointment washing over him. 

As he and Stiles moved together slowly, bodies almost flush, only a breath between them, there was no denying that, even without a kiss between them, the way they touched each other was all extremely intimate. 

~

Derek waited until Stiles had fallen asleep in his arms before carefully disentangling himself without waking him. He watched to make sure Stiles didn’t wake and pulled the blankets up over Stiles’s upper body to compensate for losing his body heat before he grabbed his phone off the table and headed to the balcony door. He opened it as silently as possible and stepped out, leaving it open just enough to see Stiles on the bed, still sleeping peacefully, and turned to lean against the railing. He looked down at the courtyard below and appreciated the way the warm, humid night air resulted in a mist to form near the ground that caused there to be beautiful halos around the lights that bordered the walkways. 

He glanced back at Stiles just to make sure he was still asleep and lifted his phone to find a number he hadn’t actually called in months, no matter what he said to Stiles. As it rang and rang, Derek rubbed a hand over his tired, sore eyes. He wanted to sleep but his thoughts were keeping him awake. 

A sleep voice answered just before Derek gave up. “Derek?” He heard a grumble and a yawn before another reply. “What’s wrong? It’s gotta be one in the morning.”

He chuckled hoarsely. “Actually it’s three, Cora” he said. “I’m in New Orleans.”

He heard her curse and he heard a clatter. “You’re _where_?! Derek, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t panic,” he said quickly.

Cora sighed. “Damn, Derek, don’t scare me like that!” He heard her moving around on her end. “Alright, what’s got you in New Orleans instead of Beacon Hills? They didn’t kick you out, did they? If you’re on your way here after they kicked you out, I’m going to kill someone-“

“I’m on vacation,” he said, cutting her off before she worked herself up. 

After a moment’s hesitation she spoke. “Vacation. You? Why? And why New Orleans?” she asked. “That sounds like Stiles’s idea of a joke, taking a werewolf to a ‘creature of the night’ city, not something you would do.”

Derek smiled sadly. “I’m with Stiles. It was his idea.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I took him on a road trip, Cora.”

“What? Why?” she asked. “Why would you voluntarily go on a road trip with those teenagers-“

“No,” he corrected. “Just Stiles.”

Cora groaned. “Oh God, what did you do?” she asked and Derek growled lightly.

“Why would you assume I _did something_?” he demanded.

“Because why else would you let Stiles talk you into going on the run? This screams ‘Stiles’s idea of a getaway’-“

“I’m not in any trouble, we just went on a vacation together,” Derek argued. “Look, I didn’t call you to be accused of shit!” Derek was remembering why it was better for him and Cora to not be together anymore. They loved each other, they would always be brother and sister, but Cora was so _angry_ at everything and Derek only brought out the worst in her. When she’d gone back to her pack, Derek didn’t argue too much.

“Why _did_ you call me, Derek?” Cora asked, sounding as weary as he felt. “It’s four in the morning here, three there, and you called me. So wanna tell me what’s wrong?” she asked.

Derek closed his eyes, cringing before he even spoke. “Let me finish before you say anything, okay?” he asked, then took a breath. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him,” he said in a rush. “And-“

“WHAT?!” Cora cried, cutting him off. “You’re gay?! And ew, even if you are, _Stiles_?!-“

Derek’s voice broke when he interrupted her to finish his statement. “And he’s dying, Cora.”

Silence fell across both ends of the line and Derek put a shaky hand over his mouth as he waited. Cora spoke finally after an agonizing moment. “Derek… what- what do you mean?” 

“He has cancer,” Derek answered in a raspy, strained voice. “The road trip- I offered to help him with anything he wanted and I made a remark about ‘even if you just want me to take you to see the Atlantic’ and then he came to me with this idea of a road trip. And- and he’s _dying_ so I said yes. I probably would’ve said yes even if he might have a chance, but he doesn’t.”

“What about treatment?” she asked.

“No, the survival rate wasn’t but like five or ten percent so Stiles didn’t want to suffer chemo after watching his mom fight for a few more months and give up any healthy time she had.” Derek took a breath. “He wanted to enjoy what time he has left. So I took him on a road trip.”

Cora groaned softly. “Shit. Derek, why would you do that? The pack and his dad- they’re going to think you guys eloped!”

Derek chuckled weakly. “We’re not like that. We’re just friends.”

“I thought you said-“

“I did.” Derek took a breath. “I always… respected him,” he settled on a word choice. “I grew to like him. He’s the one person I can trust and talk to out of all of them. He’s always been there for me, even when we were enemies more than anything. I just- I never really had any idea that what I felt wasn’t just normal friendship.” He chuckled darkly. “We know how great I am at having friends.”

“No shit,” Cora said. “And you haven’t had the best history with knowing what love feels like either, Derek,” she said gently. “Are you sure it’s not just being stuck with him for so long?”

Derek smiled sadly. “I think the reason I mistook it for actually having a friend I could trust is because I wanted to spend time with him more than I wanted to sleep with him. I mean, I’ve sort of worked hard to _not_ look at him that way because he’s seventeen and it’s wrong. But I guess the fact I’d actually just quit my life for a few weeks to take a kid who was dying on a road trip without anybody even knowing we were going made me sort of blur the lines of ‘wrong and right’, because when I looked at him it was like that dorky kid who did so much for me and cared about me when nobody else did was gone and in his place was this beautiful young man, and I saw him like I’d never seen him before.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Every day since then, I don’t see the annoying kid I knew in Beacon Hills, I see this guy that- that is so brave and _strong_ and has treated me like a person even when he had no reason to. He’s just-“ Derek swallowed hard, horrified to find tears in his eyes. “He’s _Stiles_ ,” he said in a tight voice, resting his forehead in his free hand, elbows on the railing. “And everything on this trip has been- it’s been so charged with _something_. He looks at me like I’m everything he ever wanted sometimes, and I can’t breathe. We keep purposefully not talking about whatever is going on between us, but _fuck_ we only slept in separate beds that first two nights in San Francisco. After that, we’ve slept curled up together, we’ve had these moments that are just… unspeakably intense and it’s not awkward after, it’s comfortable and _right_ but I can’t- I can’t say anything because he’s _dying_ , Cora,” he choked out, gritting his teeth to fight the part of him that wanted to cry. “I don’t want to make things awkward and ruin his freaking ‘live like I’m dying’ road trip, but- but how am I supposed to keep doing this?” he asked weakly. 

He looked back into the room and saw Stiles was still asleep where he’d left him, the moonlight shining through the opened door and making his already beautiful face seem to glow. “How do I keep letting myself hold him at night when he’s going to _die_ soon and I’m going to lose him?”

Cora made a soft sound. “Derek… _God_ I can’t believe this,” she said, and Derek smiled sardonically as he looked back out into the courtyard. “Since when do you like men?” she asked.

“A while? It’s not like I’ve really tried,” he said awkwardly. “My love life is sort of the stuff of horror stories – literally – and none of them were men, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t attracted to men too for most of those times.”

She hummed. “Is there really no hope for Stiles?”

Derek rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Back home, the pack is working on trying to find something magical. I just don’t want to get my hopes up. And I haven’t told him they even know he has cancer. He only told me. Nobody else knew until we left and I told Lydia so she could start finding a magical cure. But if not…” He closed his eyes. “If not, he’ll have six months if he’s lucky.”

“Does he love you back?” Cora asked sadly.

Derek smiled weakly, looking up at the sky. “I think he might. He’s always found me attractive, I know that, but… but even before he came to me to tell me he had cancer, I had this feeling he holds me to a different standard than the others. Not in a bad way, either.” He groaned. “That makes it hurt worse, though. There’s every chance that, if he wasn’t dying, we might’ve had something. Maybe not yet, but eventually, you know? We could’ve had something _real_.”

“Why can’t you?” she asked. “Look, I think you’re both gross as hell, but if you love each other, why can’t you tell him and give him that? If he’s going to die soon, there’s really no time for keeping things in to avoid consequences.”

Derek grew tense, and he shook his head even if she couldn’t see him. “No way. Cora, he’s already guilty about leaving his dad behind. Do you know what it would do to him if I told him how I felt and he realized what him dying is going to do to me? He is the one dying, but he’s so fucking amazing of a person that he’s _guilty_ because he’s _leaving the pack_. I am not hurting him like that. He deserves to enjoy the rest of his time with as little guilt and regrets. His friend told him the first night of our trip to live his remaining time with no regrets, and I’m not going to make him regret me,” he said firmly. 

Cora didn’t speak for a moment, but when she did, Derek could _hear_ her concern. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked. “Do I need to come back to Beacon Hills for a little while? I can-“

“No, it’s okay,” Derek said softly. “I’m sorry for waking you up, I know it was stupid, I just- I just needed to talk to you. I needed someone I could talk about Stiles to. I can’t call the pack and Stiles is the only one I would trust with something that could be used against me like that anyways.”

Cora chuckled. “No matter what problems we’ve got, you’re my big brother,” she said and Derek actually couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “I’m always here, Derek. And I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “You don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve anything like this. Stiles doesn’t deserve it, his dad doesn’t, Scott, the others… none of you should have to deal with losing Stiles like this. It’s not fair Stiles Stilinski’s stupid and self-sacrificing ass won’t go out fighting.”

“It’s really not,” Derek said sadly.

“I’ll come home,” she said with finality. “Not yet, but just… later on. When he’s at the end. I’ll come back to stay with you until I can trust them with you. I don’t doubt those bastards would leave you to suffer alone and fuck that,” she said bluntly, making Derek smile.

“I love you, Cora,” he said softly, unable to fight the warm feeling inside of him that always came with being reminded that, no matter what, she was still his baby sister.

Cora made a fake gagging sound. “Ew, sappy, Derek.” She grumbled. “I love you too, you big wimp.”

Derek rolled his eyes and took a breath. “Bye,” he said before ending the call. He stood tall and stretched, glancing back into the room at Stiles. He looked up at the moon one more time before heading back inside. He shut and locked the doors, turned off his phone, and then slid back into bed carefully.

Stiles mumbled sleepily when the bed jostled and rolled over, sprawling half over Derek when he settled. Derek just curled an arm around Stiles and looked at his peacefully sleeping face as he settled down, content to just watch Stiles sleep for a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, travel blog was updated: http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/stilesandderek/1/tpod.html


	8. Day 11: Birmingham

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE FINALLY GOT THERE! Like I said, this chapter covers 4 days and it finally gets us to a MAJOR MOMENT! WOOO!

Day 11: Birmingham, Alabama

“Remind me what we’re doing in _Alabama_?” Derek asked Stiles as they drove into the city.

Stiles shrugged. “It’s a city and it’s on our way? I figured we could go to the art museum and maybe just take a rest day? You seem really tired,” Stiles said gently.

Derek glanced at him and cringed slightly. “I’m fine, Stiles. If you want, we can probably make it to Tennessee by nightfall-“

“You didn’t sleep much and you don’t want me to drive, so no,” Stiles said. “Let’s just stop here, spend the afternoon at a museum or just walking around, and then we can go to bed early and tomorrow we can make it further, Okay?” he asked.

Derek rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Stiles,” he said gruffly. Stiles just smiled to himself, knowing that Derek really meant ‘thanks’.

~

They walked around the museum, going from exhibits ranging from Inuit sculptures to modern paintings. Stiles was still surprised, even though he knew Derek’s degree was in illustration, that he knew little facts about the way half the works they saw were made, or even some information about the artists. 

Derek was actually pretty interested in the European drawings they found, and he gestured to the drawing in front of them. “With this one, it was drawn in brown ink, but then it was brown and gray washed to bring out the shadows. The idea is that it’s meant to emphasize that this guy is looking at Jesus. Probably when it was first done, the chiaroscuro was probably more extreme-“

Stiles snickered. “The what now?” he asked. 

Derek started to answer but a woman’s voice answered instead. “Chiaroscuro.” Stiles turned to see a woman in a very neatly done skirt and blouse walked over. “This piece is a depiction of the Calling of Saint Mathew,” she said as she looked at it. “Many depictions in many mediums utilize chiaroscuro to make Jesus stand out,” she said, then looked at Derek with a smile. “Someone knows his European drawings and etchings,” she said and Derek shrugged awkwardly.

“I studied art history for my degree,” he explained simply.

She hummed, looking between them, her dark, intense eyes settling on Stiles, who suddenly felt extremely out of place wearing jeans and an untucked button down shirt beside her extremely professional air she carried. “I take it you’re not a fan?” she asked.

Stiles shrugged, fixing a smile on his face as he looked back. “I dunno, it’s neat. I just never studied any of this stuff.”

She nodded and looked between them. “Art can be fascinating. I would recommend studying it sometime. Maybe it will make more sense to you.” Without another word she walked off, leaving them there.

Stiles blinked and turned to Derek who was giving her a narrow-eyed glare as she walked away and he couldn’t help but burst into snickers. “Dude.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Snooty ass,” he grumbled and Stiles covered his mouth to queit his giggles, elbowing Derek instead.

“Stop, it’s too quiet for me to laugh!” he hissed, but Derek just rolled his eyes and grabbed a handful of Stiles’s shirt.

“C’mon, I’ll show you how impressive my knowledge of Dutch still life from sophomore art history,” he joked and Stiles barked out a loud laugh that resulted in Derek slapping a hand over his mouth and shoving him along past the patrons that were glaring at them on their way out of that particular exhibition hall.

~

When Derek came out of the bathroom, Stiles was sitting in the middle of the bed, looking at his phone rather than crawling into bed. “What’s up?” Derek asked and Stiles looked up. 

Stiles sighed, looking at his phone. “I was talking myself out of calling my dad,” he said and Derek sat beside him, eyes showing his surprise. Stiles smiled sadly. “Long story.”

Derek shrugged, leaning back against the pillows. “We’ve got time, It’s early enough we can put off sleep a few minutes.”

Stiles laid down on his back beside Derek, putting his phone out on the side table. “That woman at the museum made me start thinking,” he began. 

“What about?” Derek asked, looking across the gap between them at Stiles. 

Stiles looked away. “About how much I’ll never do,” he said honestly. Derek tensed and Stiles rolled onto his side, looking at Derek. “I’m never going to go to college like you did.” Derek swallowed, clearly unsure of what to say. “And it’s not like I really wanted to go to college anyhow, but it’s just the knowledge that I _wont_.”

Derek frowned. “You don’t want to go to college?” he asked and Stiles chuckled dryly.

“High school is hard enough,” Stiles said honestly. “I’m smart. I won’t be modest, I know I’m probably as smart as Danny, and he’s a straight A student,” he pointed out. “But I’m _not_. I have the worst trouble focusing on things the way you need to for school.”

“You do all our research and stuff, though,” Derek said and Stiles nodded.

“Yeah, and I’m good at it. But I can do it _my_ way.” He rubbed at his forehead. “ADHD isn’t like being doomed to never being able to focus, I just need to focus my way. And schools aren’t very accommodating to learning strategies outside the norm. I mean, I have to work on what my brain is on at that moment or nothing at all,” he said. He snickered. “For example, in tenth grade, I failed my economics midterm because on the essay portion, I was supposed to write about GDP, right?” He put a hand over his eyes. “I had spent the night before reading random Wikipedia articles and all I could think about was the history of circumcision, and I gave up on GDP and wrote _four pages_ about the history of male circumcision.”

Derek just blinked. “You’re lying,” he accused and Stiles shook his head.

“Nope. Finstock was so impressed he gave me ten bonus points, but I did so poorly on the required stuff I still only had a sixty-eight. Even on my medication, it makes it so I can focus on one thing, but that one thing isn’t always the one thing I’m supposed to focus on,” he said softly. “My dad wants me to go to college, but I was never gonna.”

Derek looked at him closely. “What do you want to do then?”

Stiles smiled sadly. “I wanted to be a cop. Like my dad,” he said with a sheepish grin. “He doesn’t want me to be in danger like that, but I’m actually really good at his job,” he joked. “I could probably have been a great deputy to whoever follows my dad, you know?”

Derek hummed. “I can see that. You’d be a great asset to the pack like that, too.”

Stiles nodded and closed his eyes. “But I’ll never get to. It’s so weird, Derek.” He rolled onto his side to face Derek, reaching out to curl his fingers into Derek’s. “I’ll never get to vote. I’ll never get to legally drink. I almost certainly won’t graduate high school. I’ll never get married. I’ll never have kids.”

“You want to get married and have kids?” he asked Stiles, stroking his thumb in broad strokes across the back of Stiles’s hand.

Stiles gave him an almost watery smile and nodded sadly. “I always have. I wanted to be a dad. I obviously was planning on it to be way in the future, but I love kids the way Scott loves animals. I had no brothers or sisters and when my mom was sick and when she died, I always wished there was more than just me and Dad. I guess that’s what made me always daydream about growing up and getting married and having a big house with a few kids and usually a wife, but the last couple of years, I wondered what a husband would be like with adopted kids.” He shrugged, meeting Derek’s eyes. “What about you? A Mrs. Hale and Mini-Hales in the future?”

Derek bit his lip. “I always sort of figured it would be a given when I was little. I didn’t really have any understanding of anything besides a big family. It was just accepted that one day I’d have a wife and kids and Laura would have a husband and kids and our kids would play together and our wife and husband would be friends and my parents would be around to spoil the kids… it wasn’t even a thought otherwise,” he revealed, surprising Stiles. “Then after everything… I don’t know.” He smiled sadly. “It was just me and Laura and I was more afraid then that Laura would meet a guy and I wouldn’t be as important to her. Instead of a brother-in-law and nieces and nephews, I was afraid of suddenly not being her family anymore. It was stupid, but we were both so messed up,” he said softly. “And then since she died I’ve really been waiting for something to finally take me out too. I haven’t thought about a family or any future at all in a long time. Even the last few months, when things have been good, I’ve been so focused on enjoying the time I have because one day something is gonna come and I’m going to get killed. Why imagine a future when I won’t have it?”

Stiles shook his head. “You’ll make it. You’ve made it this far, haven’t you?” He squeezed Derek’s hand. “What if you do? Do you _want_ a family anymore?”

Derek looked at Stiles’s hand in his for a while and then smiled almost wistfully. “I think so.” He swallowed a bit harshly, throat bobbing. “I would want to adopt children. I mean if I had a wife and she wanted to have a baby, then both, but I know what it’s like to be an orphan and I had Laura, but I feel sick thinking about kids who lose everybody. I was sixteen and it was like having my heart ripped out. I would want to help kids who had felt that find a way to heal. Give them a home where they don’t have to be afraid like me and Laura were.”

Stiles smiled softly, looking at Derek’s face. “You would be a great dad, Derek. And even if it hasn’t seemed like it so far, I’m sure somewhere out there is someone who will be good enough to build a family with you.”

Derek looked up at Stiles with an almost wrecked look that startled Stiles some. “I know they exist, I just don’t think I’ll get to have them,” he said cryptically and Stiles smiled comfortingly.

“I’m sure you will,” he said, moving around to get the covers out from under them so they could crawl into bed and go to sleep. They shuffled until they were comfortable, Stiles curled into Derek’s side seeking his warmth and Derek turned out the light before settling down, chin rested on top of Stiles’s head. Derek closed his eyes and curled his arms around Stiles, his mind supplying one last thought before sleep took him.

_If I get to have him, I’ll never let a day go by he doesn’t know how grateful I am._

~

Day 12: Georgia, Tennessee, Virginia

Derek and Stiles drove most of the day, going through scenic mountain passes – much smaller but more wooded than the Rockies – before deciding to make their stop for the night in Virginia. They had two days until the Tomato festival, so they were in no real hurry. They checked into their hotel in the afternoon and decided that, since they had plenty of time, they would go to a nice restaurant that they had seen advertised as an award winner for the state. 

Seeing Derek dressed nicely made Stiles’s stomach twist. They weren’t going for anything too fancy, but Derek was wearing clean, neat black jeans and a white button down shirt tucked in with the sleeves rolled up on his forearms. “Wow, you clean up nicely,” Stiles teased to cover his nerves about how much this seemed like a date. He gestured to himself and did a turn. “The shoes suck, but how about the rest?”

Derek eyed him critically. “The shoes really do suck,” he said, looking at the sneakers Stiles was wearing. “Think you could wear a pair of my shoes?” he asked, going to his bag. “They’re not much better, but at least they’re black so it’s not as obvious,” he said, gigging out a pair of sneakers. He was wearing his boots or he’d have offered those.

Stiles looked at the size and cringed. “I can try,” he said, kicking off his shoes and sitting on the bed to try on Derek’s. He stood and bounced some and chuckled. “Well, as long as we’re not walking far,” he said, giving Derek a playful look. “You have small feet.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “You’re gangly,” he countered, looking at Stiles’s maroon button down shirt that was untucked from his dark blue jeans. “You’ll do,” he said and Stiles snickered.

“Well as long as I don’t get kicked out,” he said with a shrug. He pushed at his hair and hummed. “It’s a little floppy, but it’ll do.”

Derek looked at his hair and smiled. “I kinda like it longer. You don’t look twelve anymore.”

Stiles snorted. “Did I really look that young with a buzz cut?” he asked and Derek nodded.

“Like a twelve year old,” he teased as he grabbed his wallet and put it in his pocket. “Come on, they got us reservations for eight.”

~

The waiter didn’t even ask Stiles’s age before pouring them both glasses of wine from the bottle that had been recommended to pair with their meals. Stiles smirked and sipped his wine as Derek narrowed his eyes at him. “If your dad finds out I keep letting you drink, I’m going to kill you,” Derek warned and Stiles snorted.

“I hate to say it, Buddy, but I have a feeling it’s not the underage _drinking_ that my dad’s going to assume went on first in your list of ‘things to worry about’,” he pointed out.

Derek frowned for a second, before he froze, nearly choking into his glass when he took a sip of his own wine. “What?!”

Stiles waved a hand. “We disappeared at random, just the two of us, and the only way any of them know I’m alive is that I keep the travel blog and left a link to it for the others. My dad’s only knowledge is that we’re traveling and reading between the lines, it probably doesn’t look great that a twenty-three year old werewolf spent two days with his seventeen year old kid at a clothing optional hot spring full of old hippies,” he said and Derek glared.

“Please tell me you didn’t actually post that it was clothing optional-“

“Yep!” Stiles cut him off, grinning. “And I added that I spent most of the time naked while you drew me,” he said and Derek gaped.

“Stiles! Are you _trying_ to get me shot?!” he asked, cheeks pink. He drank more of his wine, looking at the glass like he wished more than anything the alcohol actually affected him.

Stiles chuckled. “No, I just didn’t think to filter myself for the blog.” He shrugged. “Don’t worry. When we get back, he’ll be pissed, but he wouldn’t actually shoot you.”

Derek sighed, rubbing at his temples. “I guess I did know what I was doing when I took a minor on an impromptu vacation without telling his dad where I was taking him,” he admitted.

Stiles nodded, smirking. “Yep!”

“You didn’t have to tell them I was sketching you naked, though,” Derek added.

Stiles grinned. “Dude, no reason to be ashamed!”

Derek huffed. “I wasn’t even drawing _you_.”

“Really, Derek, it’s understandable that you’d want to preserve this sweet ass for posterity-“

Derek cringed. “Wow, no, really-“

Stiles giggled. “Nah, I get it, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!”

Derek actually slapped a hand over his eyes. “Oh God, why do I like you?” Derek grumbled and Stiles wiggled in his seat, making exaggerated faces.

“No shame in wanting allll of this-“

“Please stop.”

“I’m hot stuff, Derek!”

“No, you’re really not-“

“Lies!”

Derek just shook his head. “Oh God,” he muttered, though he did smile when Stiles continued, making louder and more lewd suggestions until the waiter came back with their food and gave Stiles a scandalized look that shut Stiles up finally, leaving him looking sheepish.

~

Day 13: Pittston, Pennsylvania

Derek and Stiles arrived late enough that the only festivities still going on for the night was a tomato tasting event that night, so as soon as they checked in they went straight there.

Stiles didn’t realize until halfway through that, even though he wouldn’t say it, Derek didn’t like tomatoes. The fact Derek never refused his suggestions made him curious about exactly how much tomato he could get Derek to eat just because he didn’t want to disappoint him.

~

Day 14: Pittston, Pennsylvania.

Derek knew that he was absolutely gone for Stiles before they came to the tomato festival, but the fact that he kept trying the different tomato based foods available at the festival even though he hated them, just because Stiles kept saying, “This is so good, you have to try it!” was more proof. He didn’t want Stiles to feel bad about wanting to go to the festival, so he kept up with him as he tried different things.

During the parade, Derek stood with his hands on Stiles’s hips, looking over his shoulder so that the kid behind them wouldn’t accidentally shove and knock Stiles over. Stiles’s cheeks showed the sweetest spots of pink when Derek leaned closer to his ear to tell him something, and Derek didn’t mind the elbow to the kidney he kept getting from the kid that bumped him over and over to the point that a less sturdy person would’ve flown forward by now. 

Afterwards, Derek didn’t argue when Stiles dragged him around by his hand to look at the displays of biggest, smallest, ugliest, prettiest, whatever-est tomatoes that were being showcased. When Stiles didn’t drop his hand, even when he didn’t have to guide Derek around anymore, Derek didn’t say anything and neither did Stiles. Derek was more than content to let Stiles hold his hand if he wanted. Derek knew he shouldn’t let Stiles keep getting so close, but in truth, he couldn’t bring himself to draw away when Stiles wanted him close. 

The kicker came, however, when Stiles entered them both in the rotten tomato fight and Derek spent more time watching Stiles’s wide smiles and gleeful laughter as they pelted each other and perfect strangers with rotten tomatoes with wild abandon than he did throwing his own tomatoes. It was ridiculous, and gross, and Derek kept getting tomato in his mouth that was absolutely disgusting, worse than usual, but when it was all over, and the whistle blow signified the last of the tomatoes had been demolished, Stiles turned around and, as Derek pushed his goggles up, Stiles gave him the widest, happiest, most _beautifully perfect_ smile of all the smiles Stiles had shown before and slip-slid through the mushy, disgusting mess around them, catching himself with hands on Derek’s shoulders, laughing gleefully still, even though the fun was over.

Derek didn’t even think about what he was doing as he reached out, pushed Stiles’s goggles up onto his head, and leaned in to press a kiss to Stiles’s lips. Derek realized what he had just done when he pulled away and Stiles was staring at him in surprise. However, before Derek could worry that he had read things wrong, Stiles’s surprise twisted into a smaller, more private, but still mind-blowingly beautiful smile. He slid his hands from Derek’s shirt to his face, curling those long, slender fingers along the curve of Derek’s jaw on either side before closing the distance himself this time, his lips finding Derek’s. 

Right there, in the middle of a crowd of strangers, thousands of miles from home, covered in tomato guts, in soaked clothes and ruined shoes, Derek pulled Stiles into his arms and held him close as they kissed slowly, innocently, and yet passionately. As far as first kisses went, it was by far the strangest Derek ever had with someone, but above all else, it was absolutely and without a doubt the most perfect one as well. 

When catcalls sounded around them as some teenagers next to them noticed what they were doing, Stiles pulled back with flushed cheeks and bright eyes that met Derek’s with an open, unabashed happiness that Derek couldn’t remember ever seeing quite so clearly from Stiles. 

If there had been any doubt in Derek’s mind that he was absolutely and undeniably in love with Stiles, that kiss had erased it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, travel blog is updated! http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/stilesandderek/1/tpod.html


	9. Day 15: New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FELIZ NAVIDAD!!!
> 
> Have a Christmas present of... a chapter! lmao. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this chapter seems sorta weird, I had a friend coaching me on how to get things close enough to right that she would buy New York in my fic (She hails from Brooklyn) but I still had to be vague enough to hide that I've never BEEN THERE. Sooo yeah. Sorry if it's kinda awkward, but THE FLUFF SHOULD COVER THAT!

Day 15: New York, New York

Stiles had worried that after they kissed, things would get awkward between them. It had been an adrenaline fueled burst of courage that had driven Derek to kiss him, he knew that, but he hadn’t regretted it at all. Fortunately, Derek seemed content to just not react at all. He didn’t freak out and become awkward, but he didn’t bring it up either even when they crawled into bed that night and curled up like they had been for most of the trip so far. 

Driving into New York was amazing. Stiles knew he looked like an idiot with his face pressed to the window, but everything was so _big_. It was gorgeous. Derek just smiled at Stiles’s excitement. He had lived there for a while so it was less exciting and more nostalgia inducing to him. It was a beautiful city, though. 

When they got to their hotel, Derek looked around the lobby and cringed. “Man, my poor credit card,” he said and Stiles snickered.

“You offered,” he said and Derek rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to have to get a job after we get home. Independently wealthy is all in the past. A road trip is expensive,” he joked.

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Well if you could buy a vehicle that got decent gas mileage, maybe you wouldn’t be filling up every hundred miles.”

Derek started to retort, but the woman at the desk got off her phone and came to check them in. After checking in, they went up to their room to put their stuff up before going to get lunch. When they walked into the room, however, Stiles stopped, dropping his bag on the bed as he looked over towards the window. “Um… Derek?” he called, walking around to the foot of the bed.

Derek glanced up from where he was dropping his bag by the bed. “Yeah, the view’s great, huh?” he said as he went back to untangling the straps, and Stiles chuckled.

“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘no privacy’ but if skinny white boy is your thing, then yeah, I guess it will be a nice view,” Stiles said and Derek stood up.

“What the hell, Stiles?” he asked, stepping around to see what he was talking about, only to stop and stare when he realized exactly what Stiles meant.

There was a bathtub with a showerhead in the ceiling above it sitting right there in the room, between the bed and the window. “What the hell?” Derek asked and Stiles snickered, giving Derek a pointed look. “Hey, don’t look at me!”

Stiles’s snickers turned into full on laughs. “Well if you plan on taking a bath while we’re here-“

“Oh my God, _Stiles_ ,” Derek groaned in exasperation. 

“What?!” Stiles asked, flopping onto the bed, crossing his legs under him. “Dude, clearly this hotel is meant for voyeuristic people!” He leaned back on his elbows, still chuckling. “Soooo now would probably be a good idea to have a conversation,” he started, biting his bottom lip.

Derek fidgeted some, not looking at Stiles, but sighed, going around to sit on the bed beside him, looking out the window. “There will be no voyeurism happening,” he said firmly and Stiles hummed.

“To be fair, we’ve already been naked together,” Stiles pointed out. “It’s just nudity.”

Derek snorted. “Nudity in public is kind of different from nudity in private. Especially after yesterday,” he said, not shying away like Stiles had worried.

Stiles sat up and shrugged. “I dunno, we were the only two there when you got into the hot spring with me, Derek. You held me while we were both naked,” he pointed out. “I mean yeah, this is sorta creepy,” he said, nodding at the shower. “Cause like… sexy showers are very different from actually getting clean showers so that’s kinda weird. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing hot about somebody shampooing their hair,” he joked and Derek smiled in amusement. “But in all seriousness, do you want things to be different after yesterday? I mean… is the public versus private nudity thing a hint that you want things to be more restrained since we decided to stop pretending everything is just friends between us?” he asked bluntly.

Derek sighed, laying back on the bed with a heavy flop. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do about any of this.” He shook his head, staring up at the ceiling. 

Stiles smiled gently as he laid back on one elbow, propped to look down at Derek. “Derek, nothing is really any different than it has been since that night in Moab,” he pointed out. “We’ve been doing this… whatever it is pretty much constantly since then. We only spent the first two nights of this trip sleeping anywhere other than holding each other.” He slid his hand into Derek’s and Derek pulled their twined fingers onto his abdomen. “We’ve been touching and holding hands and having moments where neither of us were too stupid to not notice what was happening.” He chuckled. “Neither of us are clueless like that.”

Derek grumbled. “I know, but it’s so complicated.”

Stiles sighed, eyes full of sadness. “Yeah, it’s pretty complicated,” he agreed. 

Derek tightened his hold on Stiles’s hand and Stiles shifted until he was along Derek’s side, settling to lay his head on Derek’s shoulder, forehead pressed to Derek’s jaw. Derek turned and kissed his hair tenderly. “I’m not sorry,” Derek mumbled against his hairline, stroking Stiles’s knuckles with his thumb. “Complicated doesn’t mean it’s bad.”

“Nah, it’s not bad,” Stiles said, closing his eyes. “Hmmm, so, hey, what are your thoughts on a nap before lunch?” he asked, and Derek grumbled, sliding his arm under Stiles to pull him closer.

“This bed rocks, even if it’s a creepy voyeur bed.”

“Damn straight,” Stiles sighed, settling against Derek comfortably.

~

Stiles practically vibrated in place as he looked around, eyes wide as he tried to drink in the scope of how _big_ the American Museum of Natural History was. “Dude, Derek…” He turned back to him, grabbing Derek’s hands to pull him into motion. “If I had a uterus, I’d totally offer to have your babies right now,” he proclaimed and Derek cringed.

“Well that’s disturbing,” he muttered and Stiles just snickered.

“This is the coolest place ever. I want to live here for the rest of my life and just bask in the glory of history!” he enthused. “Now c’mon! This nerd has nerding to do!” 

Derek rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, why do I go out in public with you?” he groaned, though Stiles could see the fond look on his eyes when he let Stiles tug him along by his hand.

Even as they spent hours in the museum, Stiles’s enthusiasm never dimmed in the slightest. He was all smiles and excitement as they looked through every hall and every exhibition. He read almost every single plaque along the way as well. Even when he started to grow visibly tired, his enthusiasm never waned. 

They managed most of the major exhibits Stiles wanted to see, skipping just a few since they didn’t have time and Stiles was starting to get tired. Their final stop for the day was the planetarium show. During the show, Derek couldn’t find it in himself to be pay attention because, as he looked over, the amazed look on Stiles’s face was far more fascinating. The reflection of the lights on Stiles’s skin when he smiled made him look more vibrant, like the youthful young man Derek had grown to love and less like the tiring, ill boy that he was. Every time something extra fascinating happened – not that Derek noticed, since his attention was on Stiles – Stiles would tighten his hold on Derek’s hand as if to emphasize whatever was being said. 

When Stiles finally caught onto the fact that, rather than looking up at the show going on above them, Derek’s gaze was firmly planted on him, he gave Derek a small, sweet smile, made even cuter by the way he looked with his head tipped to the side in the reclined seat. “What’re you doing?” Stiles whispered. “Watch the show.”

Derek shrugged half-heartedly. “I’m enjoying the view from here.”

Stiles gave him a bashful smile but didn’t look away. “Stop being sweet and watch the space show.” Derek shook his head and Stiles rolled his eyes. After a moment of staring back at Derek, he glanced up at the projection then back at Derek. “Eurgh, now I can’t help looking at you. You distraction, you,” he whispered, and then leaned across the gap between them and kissed Derek gently, just a small, tender brush of lips before he pulled back and leaned sideways against Derek’s shoulder. “Now look up,” he breathed and Derek smiled, wiggling to rest his head against Stiles’s as they both looked up to watch the rest of the show.

~

Day 16: Brooklyn, New York

When Derek woke up from a deep, comfortable sleep, thanks to the best bed he had ever laid in, he grumbled and rolled over to reach for Stiles. He frowned when he flapped his hand around and found a warm space but no Stiles. He rolled over onto his back and finally opened his eyes, blinking against the bright light filling the room from the windows. He rolled out of bed sleepily, looking to try and find a way to close some curtains, only to stop when he looked from the window down to the tub and discovered where Stiles had gone to.

Stiles was in the bathtub, water up to his chin and his feet sticking out at the other end. He tipped his head back and smiled at Derek in amusement. “What? You were sleeping hard, I figured you’d stay asleep,” he defended.

Derek blinked sleep out of his eyes, swallowing hard as Stiles twisted some and sat up, turning to rest his arms and chin on the side of the tub, legs dropping into the water. He watched water sluicing down Stiles’s neck and shoulders and stared blankly, throat very dry. “Um.”

Stiles chuckled, smiling up at Derek. “Are you awake in there, Derek?” he asked, then held out his hand, dripping water over the side. “Come here,” he said softly. Derek stepped closer, feet moving almost of their own volition, and Stiles caught his hand, tugging Derek until Derek was beside the tub, studiously keeping his eyes on Stiles’s face. Stiles looked up at him, biting his lip. “Wanna come in?” he asked, cheeks slightly pink. “Plenty of room.”

Derek squatted down beside the tub so that he didn’t have such a hard time not looking anywhere ‘indecent’. “Yeah, I think not,” he said gruffly, clearing his throat when Stiles shifted back to rest his chin on his folded arms. 

Stiles reached out and cupped his cheek, smiling. “You’ve got pillow creases on your face,” he said, stroking at the side of his eye with an amused look. He scratched his nails at the hair on Derek’s jaw. “You sure?” he asked. “I mean, nothing has to happen,” he added.

Derek rolled his eyes. “Sure it doesn’t.”

“I’m serious, it doesn’t have to be different than the last time we were in warm water. Just relaxing, is all,” Stiles said, though Derek could see the color in his cheeks and his pupils dilating just at the thought. Stiles smoothed his fingers along his cheekbone absently and Derek leaned into the touch. “Totally innocent,” Stiles whispered as an afterthought.

Derek groaned softly and leaned in to kiss Stiles, who slid his other wet hair into Derek’s hair, pulling him closer until the edge of the tub was digging into Derek’s chest. “You know as well as I do what would happen if I got in there,” he mumbled against Stiles’s lips. “And it wouldn’t be totally innocent.”

Stiles moaned softly into Derek’s mouth. “I’m okay with that, actually,” he whispered hoarsely. Derek sighed and pulled away some and Stiles whined. “Noooo come back.” He pouted at Derek, sinking back down into the water some.

Derek reached up and curled his hand around the back of Stiles’s head, stroking at his wet hair. “I think I should probably go find breakfast or something,” he said and Stiles gave him a hurt look.

“Oh. Um, okay.”

Derek rolled his eyes and leaned in, kissing Stiles firmly, startling a groan out of him. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said, smiling as he pulled back. He held Stiles’s face in his hands, looking into his eyes. “I don’t want our first time to be in a bathtub at the voyeur hotel.”

Stiles actually shivered slightly, ears turning pink when he opened his eyes again. “So you do want me?” he asked sheepishly, clearly seeking clarification.

Derek grumbled, glaring at him playfully. “Do you _know_ what this is doing to me right now?” he asked, gesturing to the way water was beading down Stiles’s neck and chest. “Really, Stiles? You really have to ask that?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Hey, how should I know? I’m not exactly the most confident guy out there, or much of a looker if we’re comparing to all the people you could have if you wanted.”

Derek smiled suddenly, just a small quirk of lips. “But I don’t want anybody but you,” he said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

Stiles sucked in a breath and bit back a grin. “Dude, you can’t say things like that, my poor heart can’t take it,” he chastised and Derek smirked, pecking his lips again.

“It’s just the truth,” he said and then stood up. “Okay, I’m gonna change and go check out the breakfast situation. You come when you’re done and give me time to shower before you come back up,” he said, giving Stiles one more glance back as he picked up his bag. 

Stiles just smirked and winked, sliding down in the water and holding a leg up in the air before propping it off the other end of the tub again. “Alright, sounds good. I’ll just be here. Allll by myself. Naked. In the bathtub,” he called and Derek snorted, giving him an amused look.

“You’re a terrible person, Stiles.”

“I know,” Stiles said brightly, wiggling wet fingers at Derek as he walked out of the room.

~

They left the City to spend the day in Brooklyn, where Derek had lived for a few years, so that Derek could show Stiles around some of his favorite places. He showed Stiles the neighborhood he and Laura had lived in, the building they had lived in, he talked about the old crazy guy who used to sit on the curb outside and tell Derek all about the aliens that had landed in the sixties, and he showed him the shop where Laura used to work even if they didn’t need it. Afterwards, he took Stiles to get pizza from his favorite place. (“No, seriously, Stiles, we ate about six of these a week. I’m pretty sure nobody could figure out how we weren’t extremely fat.”)

After lunch, Derek insisted that he take Stiles to Coney Park. He and Laura had loved to spend an afternoon at Coney Park when they lived there. Stiles was surprised Derek had ever been the type to enjoy going on an amusement park ride. (“Seriously, you mean you actually agreed to go on a Tilt-A-Whirl? I can’t believe Laura had the guts to suggest you stop being grumpy long enough to go on a _ride_ ”) Derek took him on the Wonder Wheel and insisted they get a moving car. (“Oh my God, Derek if I die on this thing I’m going to haunt your ass so hard, holy crap.”) The Cyclone was actually pretty fun, and Stiles was surprised to see that Derek actually had a childishly giggly side hidden down in there. 

Walking along hand in hand was so stereotypical that Stiles wasn’t at all surprised when Derek tugged him over to a carnival game and gave him a playful look. “C’mon, let’s see if you can beat me,” he challenged and Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Oh no, I must defend my honor,” he droned flatly. 

Derek went first, tossing the balls until he was out of them. The guy running the game – who Stiles secretly was pretty sure was a serial killer after the sun went down – came back with Derek’s prize. Derek looked at the little black stuffed puppy and turned and handed it to Stiles with a slightly smug little smile. Stiles bit his lip, fighting back the teasing he wanted to do, and took it with a soft smile. “Aw, thank you,” he said, looking down at the little, barely larger than his fist puppy toy. He turned to the game and hummed. “My turn!” he said, setting the puppy between his feet as he took the balls and tossed.

When he won, getting even more than Derek had, and the carnie came back with his prize, it was a huge green dragon with wings and fangs and everything. Stiles took it and laughed at the downright offended look on Derek’s face as he stared at the cups Stiles had rung that he didn’t. “That is not even right. I’m supposed to have better hand-eye coordination.”

Stiles smirked, grabbing his puppy before stepping up and offering the dragon to Derek. “For you, then,” he said, and Derek took it with an amused eye roll. Stiles laughed and stepped up, pecking Derek’s lips sweetly. “Trust me, I’m no less impressed by you just because I’m better than you at this thing.”

Derek grumbled. “I’m supposed to be werewolf enhanced.”

“I play sports,” Stiles countered, then held up his puppy, pressing his lips to the back of its furry little head. “I really like my puppy, though,” he said earning a laugh from Derek.

“The dragon’s pretty cool, too,” he said, and then slid his hand into Stiles’s. “Come on. Nathan’s is a must. We have to or else we fail as tourists,” he joked and Stiles grinned, curling their fingers together as he fell into step beside Derek.

“Alright, me and Mr. Growly could probably go for a bite to eat,” he said, and Derek groaned at the puppy’s name.

“Mr. Growly?”

Stiles nodded. “Yep, just like his daddy with the growly face and ‘grrrr’ voice,” he teased and Derek slapped a hand over his face as they walked.

“Why do I like you-“

“You ask that a lot,” Stiles pointed out and Derek laughed.

“I wonder why?”

~

Stiles and Derek stopped walking when the fireworks started. Stiles jumped in surprise and Derek snickered at his reaction. He pulled him around and kissed his cheek, sliding his arms around Stiles. “Watching the fireworks is totally another thing I used to do all the time.”

Stiles leaned back into the circle of his arms and hummed. “You don’t have a problem with the loud sound? It’s almost loud enough to hurt my ears.”

Derek shook his head, his beard tickling Stiles’s cheek as he did. “I can turn it off. I usually do. Oh God, can you imagine not being able to stop hearing loud noises extra loud?”

Stiles cringed in sympathy. “That would suck,” he agreed. He slumped some and rested his head back against Derek’s neck, smiling faintly as they watched the fireworks explode in the air in vibrant showers of color. He felt Derek shift back some to look at him but he didn’t move. After a few minutes of staying like that, however, he had to turn and raise an eyebrow at Derek, who was gazing at him instead of the fireworks. “This is becoming a habit,” he joked. “Looking at me instead of the bright things above our heads-“

“You’re so beautiful,” Derek breathed, looking at him almost reverently, like he was something amazing. Stiles had never felt like anybody saw him the way Derek seemed to. Derek looked at him like he wanted to never look away and it was equal parts flattering and overwhelming. 

However, it wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as the need to speak his next words was. “I’m so in love with you,” Stiles replied softly, his stomach twisted into knots over how much he _needed_ to tell Derek even if he knew it was the last thing he should actually say to him so out of the blue. Derek’s breath hitched and he stared at Stiles like he was equal parts delighted and shocked. Abandoning the fireworks display, Stiles turned in Derek’s arms and slid his hands to rest on Derek’s chest and the side of his neck. “I love you, Derek,” he repeated in a stronger voice.

Derek’s surprised face melted into a warm, happy smile. “I love you, too,” he said in a low voice, leaning in to press his forehead to Stiles’s. “I shouldn’t, because you’re seventeen, but I do.”

Stiles chuckled softly and closed the gap, pressing his lips to Derek’s. “Fuck should and shouldn’t.” He licked his lips as he glanced down at Derek’s mouth. “I’ll stick with ‘want’ instead of ‘should’. More fun,” he whispered against Derek’s lips, only to be silenced as Derek pulled him in and kissed him again, carefully parting Stiles’s lips with his tongue.

Stiles’s happy moan was the only answer Derek needed to know that, no matter what they should or shouldn’t do, he would never regret standing on the boardwalk at Coney Island, kissing the person he loved underneath the flashes of fireworks overhead on a warm August evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, travel blog! I almost forgot: http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/stilesandderek/1/tpod.html


	10. Day 17: Lake Damariscotta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy this is a hell of a chapter. It's MASSIVE if you didn't notice. *coughhalfofitisagiantsexscenecough*
> 
> This one's gonna hurt. It really is. BUT we're down to ONE MORE CHAPTER! 
> 
> THE END IS NIGH!

Day 17: Lake Damariscotta, Maine

Derek and Stiles hadn’t had any real goal after they reached the east coast, but Stiles had spent some time the morning they were going to check out looking at travel sites. He found an ad for lake houses for rent in Maine and, on a whim, he clicked on one that was available and got the owner’s number. Derek had shrugged when he told him it was available for the next two weeks, so Stiles booked it for them. Driving there had taken them almost the whole day and it was nearly dark when they met the owner of the house at a pub in the town of Damariscotta. 

The owner, Shane, was waiting at a table, talking to the guy behind the bar when they arrived. “Shane?” Stiles asked and the guy nodded, gesturing for them to sit. “Sorry about this, man, we just didn’t want to have to get a hotel room for the night and relocate tomorrow.”

Shane waved a hand. “It’s fine,” he said dismissively. “Hey Ernie,” he called out, then turned back. “You guys should probably go on and eat. There isn’t anything close to the house,” he explained. Stiles and Derek settled and ordered drinks from who they figured had to be Ernie. “So, what’re you boys doing up this way? It’s not often I get someone calling to book same night on a whim like that. Did your other plans fall through?” he asked.

Stiles shrugged. “Not really. We’re on a road trip and I just happened to see some pictures of the lake and the houses for rent and figured ‘why not?’ and went for it.”

Shane hummed. “That a fact? Where you from?” he asked curiously.

“California,” Derek answered. “Small town north of Sacramento.”

“Wow,” Shane said in surprise. “You guys have really come a distance, huh?”

Stiles nodded. “Yeah, we’ll probably turn back from here. If we stay the week here, that’ll put us turning back west on the twentieth. The summer is pretty much over.”

Shane nodded. “Well sounds like you boys had a fun summer,” he said, smiling. “Let’s hope you like the cabin,” he said just as Ernie returned to take their orders so they could eat. 

After they ate dinner, Stiles and Derek followed Shane out of town and along a highway, headed north. The lake was to their west as they made their way through winding forest roads until they finally pulled down a long gravel drive and came up on a small shack. It looked decent, not rotten and falling in, but Stiles remembered from the pictures that everything seemed to be pretty nice inside.

Derek and Stiles parked and got out with Shane. He let them in and gave them the keys, pausing only long enough to show them how to open and shut the windows. It was dark so they couldn’t see the lake, but they were assured it was right down the slope. After Shane left, Stiles and Derek brought in their bags and went straight to the bedroom to change and go to bed after a long day.

Stiles flopped halfway across the bed and Derek tugged him into his arms, tucking him close to his body where he wanted him. “We can go shopping in the morning so we don’t have to go all the way to town to get food every day.”

Stiles nodded, kissing Derek sleepily. “Sounds good. Go to sleep.” He flopped a hand over Derek’s face and covered his mouth.

Derek snickered, but pressed his lips to Stiles’s hand as he settled in to get comfortable.

~

Stiles was putting the box of cereal into the cabinet by the sink when Derek came in with the last two bags from the car. “Did we really need stuff to cook steaks? Also why are there vegetables in here? Plus I hope you don’t expect me to work that grill out there,” Derek said as he brought the last two bags and sat them on the counter beside Stiles.

Stiles gave him a flat look. “The vegetables are for eating, as you usually do, and no, I can grill steaks. Haven’t we talked about me cooking at home?” he asked, taking the meat out of the bag to put in the refrigerator for later. 

Derek shuffled behind him then paused. “Uh… hey Stiles? I don’t think this was meant to be with the food.” Stiles turned around and snorted when he saw a box of condoms had fallen out of the same bag as the tomatoes. Derek leaned against the counter, looking at Stiles closely. “Was this a hint?” he asked almost nervously.

Stiles plucked the box out of Derek’s hand and grabbed the smaller bag he’d sat aside on the other side of the sink. “I’m not trying to hint at anything, I just figured…” He shrugged, fidgeting slightly. “It could happen, and if it doesn’t that’s fine. But if we _do_ want to, it’s better to have supplies,” he said, biting his lip as he put the condoms in the other bag and turned to take it to the bedroom.

Derek finished putting the vegetables out on the counter and turned and followed him. He stopped in the doorway and saw Stiles closing the drawer in the bathroom through the open door. “Is that… what you want?” Derek asked, tapping at the door casing awkwardly. “I mean you know we don’t have to, right?”

Stiles walked back out and shrugged, smiling when he got to Derek. “I know we don’t _have_ to, but I want to.”

Derek reached out when Stiles stopped in front of him and rested his hands on Stiles’s waist. “Yeah?”

Stiles slid his arms loosely around Derek’s neck, nodding with a soft smile. “As long as you do, then yeah.” He smiled as he picked at fuzz on Derek’s shirt. “I’m in love with a gorgeous guy, we’re all alone in a house on a lake together, and this whole trip was about doing what I want and not holding back.”

Derek rubbed his hands done Stiles’s narrow back. “You’re still just seventeen,” he reminded him gently.

Stiles smirked. “The age of consent in Maine is sixteen.” 

Derek raised an eyebrow. “And when did you look that up?”

“When we decided to come here,” Stiles said with a mischievous smile. “Full disclosure? I looked up New York before we went there, too. It’s seventeen there.”

Derek gave him an amused smile. “Someone felt optimistic,” he said and Stiles just snickered.

“I’m seventeen and you’re gorgeous, I was just making sure.”

Derek leaned in and pecked Stiles’s lips. “So… if it happens it happens?” he asked Stiles, who nodded, tilting his chin up to kiss Derek’s forehead.

“Yep, and if it doesn’t, I won’t mind, Derek. If my age bothers you that much, I’m okay with us not, you know?” Stiles said, sliding his hands down Derek’s arms to rest on his wrists at his waist. “I love you. Just being here with you is enough,” Stiles said.

Derek shrugged. “I’m not as comfortable with you being seventeen as I would be if you were eighteen, but I also realize that that’s not really indicative of you being ready or not. You’re not the normal seventeen year old, and you’re not the same boy I met first, anymore. You’ve grown up.”

Stiles pecked his lips once more then pulled away. “I need to go mix up the marinade for the steaks, but I’m glad we talked about this. I kinda worried you would shy away from talking. Most people would,” Stiles pointed out.

Derek shook his head. “I made enough mistakes just making assumptions based on my side of things in the past. Besides,” he said with a teasing tone. “If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it, right?”

Stiles grinned. “Good thing I’ve always been comfortable oversharing, huh?” Derek laughed out loud at Stiles as he let him pass to go back to the main room and start on the prep for dinner.

~

Derek smiled as Stiles ran off the end of the dock with a yell as he flew into the water, making a big splash that nearly drowned Derek, who was already in the water. He swam back and laughed when Stiles popped up and shook his head. “Good job, you just scared the hell out of the neighbors,” Derek said and Stiles glanced at the people barbecuing in their backyard a few hundred yards away, then gave them a sheepish wave.

“I wonder if people usually swim out here?” Stiles asked, swimming out further. “This could be weird to them in general.”

Derek shrugged. “People kayak, so why not swim?” he wondered out loud.

Stiles made a small ‘oooh’. “Kayaking sounds fun.”

Derek gestured to the house. “There’s one under the porch,” he said and Stiles swam backwards.

“You know, that would probably explain the paddle in the bedroom,” he said with a smile, only to gape and double take. “Holy shit, Derek look!” he hissed, and Derek turned, narrowing his eyes to confirm that, yes, there was a _moose_ on the little peninsula sticking out into the lake.

“Whoa, that thing’s huge,” Derek said softly and Stiles nodded.

“Man I thought those elk we saw in Colorado were cool,” he all but whispered. He looked at Derek and smirked. “Let’s see how close we can swim before it runs.”

Derek frowned, looking at the distance. “That’s a long way to swim out, Stiles.”

Stiles scoffed. “So? Come on!” 

Derek watched Stiles swimming out away from the dock and cringed but followed. “If you drown, I’ll be so pissed,” Derek grumbled as he swam after Stiles.

~

As Stiles and Derek trudged back into the cabin, Derek just snickered at the grumpy look Stiles was wearing. “I told you it was too far to swim,” he said and Stiles shot him a glare.

“And yet you still didn’t get out and walk with me,” he accused, while Derek just snorted. The distance they swam across to the peninsula had been too far for Stiles to swim back because he got tired, so he had to get out and walk all the way back around the inlet along the bank. Derek had swam straight back and laid out on the dock to dry as he waited for Stiles. It had taken about ten minutes to swim straight across, but the way the inlet looped, it took Stiles nearly forty-five minutes to walk back.

Stiles pulled on a shirt and went to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. “I don’t have time to shower if I want to grill the steaks now. Great. Lake water drying in my hair.”

Derek came up behind him and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said, and Stiles swatted at him as he turned and went off to take a shower since Stiles couldn’t steal it first.

When Derek got out, Stiles was already outside grilling the steaks and skewers of vegetables. Derek walked out and raised an eyebrow when he saw Stiles was wearing his leather jacket. Stiles smiled brightly. “I’m chilly, dude, sue me.” 

Derek went and sat in one of the patio chairs on the other side of the porch, near the table. He looked at the way Stiles looked absolutely swallowed in his jacket. “You know, you look good in a leather jacket.”

Stiles made a face. “Yeah, I’ll let you keep your leather,” he said, using the tongs to flip the steaks. “So, how do you like your steak? Cause if it’s bloody and barely warmed, I probably need to take it off now.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Werewolves aren’t wolves, Stiles. We don’t eat raw meat.”

Stiles snickered. “Hey, I think Scott ate a bunny once, you never know!”

“He didn’t eat a bunny, you dumbass,” Derek said with an exasperated look. He stood up and walked over to lean on the railing beside the grill. “I like it mostly cooked. Maybe a little pink on the inside. I don’t eat steak much, so I’m not sure what that’s called.”

Stiles hummed. “Sounds medium well. I prefer mine a little more pink. Dad likes his medium rare,” he said, making a face. “It still bleeds when you cut it.”

Derek leaned over a little, looking at the skewers of vegetables. “Are those good?” he asked and Stiles nodded.

“Yep. It’s one of the easiest ways to get my dad to eat vegetables. I make him eat a small steak and tons of grilled vegetables. Works every time,” he said with a smug smile.

Derek rolled his eyes. “You know, you’re the kid, he’s the parent. Who should really be doing the nagging?”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at him. “If he didn’t want me nagging him, he should’ve taken better care of himself before he ended up with high blood pressure,” he said pointedly. Stiles turned back and turned the vegetables. “Besides, he doesn’t need to nag me usually. I’ve done my fair share of getting in trouble, but for the most part, I try not to make things hard on him.”

Derek looked at him closely. “It must be a real relief to have him in the loop, huh? I never thought about it at the start but it had to be hard to lie.”

Stiles groaned. “It sucked. A lot.” He chuckled. “Funny thing is, once he found out, he was more worried that he had made things harder for me and Scott.” He shook his head. “Seriously, Derek. My dad is one of a kind.”

Derek smiled. “You’re kind of an awesome son for him. He’s lucky he had you of all people.”

“Damn straight,” Stiles said with a laugh. “Scott’s lucky for me too. He only made it to seventeen because of me. I am fully aware of my awesome, Hale,” he teased.

Derek just gave him a warm look and pushed off the rail, coming up to hug Stiles from behind, kissing his head. “Trust me, I’m fully aware of your ‘awesome’ too, Stilinski,” he murmured against his hair and Stiles shivered slightly. 

Derek slid his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stayed there, letting Stiles entertain him with explanations of why the onions and broccoli had to go on the skewers and be cooked before the tomatoes and squash could be added, and exactly how to get the steak grilled without charring it and leaving the inside still juicy. 

~

When they finished eating, Derek took Stiles’s plate when he started to stand up and shook his head. “I’ll do the dishes since you cooked,” he offered and Stiles batted his eyelashes at him.

“Awww, such a gentleman,” he drawled, earning a huff from Derek, whose ears turned red at the teasing. “You’re awesome,” he said, standing up to peck Derek’s cheek. “I’m gonna take a shower,” he said and Derek nodded, going to the sink to start the dishes.

While Derek washed dishes, he thought back to how nice their day had been. They grocery shopped in town, they came home and spent the afternoon swimming, and then ate a quiet dinner together. Just doing simple, everyday things with Stiles had honestly been one of Derek’s favorite days of the trip so far. It felt like they were normal guys having a normal, relaxing day. He couldn’t help but imagine that in another life it’s what a Saturday with Stiles would be like back home. A nice, comfortable day without interruptions or plans happily spent with the person he loved.

He was distracted from his thoughts by the sound of Stiles singing in the shower. Derek bit back a laugh, only to snort and give in when Stiles swapped to an off key rendition of ‘No Rain’. He went back to washing the dishes with the background of Stiles’s shower-singing and the sound of frogs and insects coming in from outside with all the windows open. Derek closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of _peace_ around him. He looked out the windows towards the lake and saw the way the setting sun reflected off of the trees across on the peninsula where they saw the moose, and he was struck by how amazing everything felt in that moment. He heard Stiles shut off the shower and he looked back at the dishes in the sink, and then rinsed off his hands and dried them, already making his decision.

~

Stiles was just toweling off his hair when the bathroom door opened. He yelped and pulled the towel from his hair, only to groan when he saw Derek standing there. “Dude, you startled me- Hmmmm?” Stiles hummed in surprise when Derek stepped in and caught him around the waist, cutting him off with a kiss. When Derek pulled back to look at him, Stiles tilted his head curiously. “Hi?”

Derek looked at him with such a content look on his face that Stiles’s insides warmed some. “Hi,” Derek replied, then leaned in to kiss him sweetly before shifting to his jaw. “Sorry I scared you,” he added, lips brushing careful kisses down his throat now.

Stiles moaned softly, letting go of his towel to curl his hands in Derek’s shirt. “Not complaining anymore,” he said quietly, cheeks flushing when Derek’s lips trailing down to his collar bone sent an electric jolt through his body. “Derek, what’re you doing?” he muttered, eyes fluttering shut as Derek’s warm palm stroked at the curve of his waist soothingly. 

Derek turned them in the small bathroom until Stiles was leaning against the sink before slowly lowering as his lips trailed kisses down Stiles’s chest. “Can I?” Derek asked almost nervously as his hand slid to Stiles’s thigh, thumb stroking high on the inside of his leg as he slid to his knees, looking up at Stiles.

Stiles blinked at him stupidly for a moment, mouth working as he tried to make words. “Uh… I… um… yeah?”

Derek smiled in amusement. “Asking me or telling me?” he asked, leaning in to press a kiss to the ridge of his hip, tongue trailing out along the muscle there.

Stiles gasped and grabbed at the edge of the counter. “Telling, telling,” he clarified, swallowing hard as he looked down at him. “Jesus, Derek, _yes_ ,” he said firmly.

Derek nodded, trailing kisses along Stiles’s lower abdomen as he slid his hands up his thighs, earning a sharp intake of breath when his right hand continued higher, going from Stiles’s thigh to curl around his growing erection. Derek leaned back some, stroking Stiles some to get a feel for him before he leaned in and ran his tongue along the underside. Stiles cursed, voice higher than normal, and Derek pulled back to look up at him nervously. “I’ve never did this before, so I don’t know if it’ll be very good,” he apologized in advance. 

Stiles just snorted, taking in the worry on Derek’s face with anticipation. “Yeah well, me neither, so I’m pretty sure I will like anything.” Derek nodded and then wasted no time, leaning in again. Stiles’s eyes fluttered shut as the heat of Derek’s mouth overwhelmed him. He could barely breathe, the feeling was so new in the best way possible. Derek seemed to take his shaky breaths as a sign it was okay, because the next thing he knew, Derek was moving and _wow_ was that better. “Holy crap, Derek!” He let his head drop back and he whimpered as he fought the urge to buck into Derek’s mouth. Derek seemed to feel his twitching hips because his hands moved to hold them as Derek continued to bob up and down and suck Stiles the best way possible. It was amazing.

It felt _too_ amazing. Stiles could feel how close he was getting already. He looked down at Derek and the sight of Derek looking back up at him, his technicolor eyes full of lust and affection was mind-blowingly hot. He could only imagine what those eyes looking down at him as Derek fucked him would look like. That thought alone made him moan low and hoarse, clenching his eyes shut before it became too much. He reached out and stroked his fingers through Derek’s hair. “Derek, stop,” he gasped and Derek pulled off quickly, pulling away with a worried expression.

“Shit, sorry, what-“

“No, no,” Stiles shushed him, curling his fingers in his hair. “It’s good, it’s _really_ good, you’re amazing, I’m just- I’m close already,” he explained.

Derek smirked slightly. “Trust me, not a problem,” he said, kissing Stiles’s wrist as he started stroking Stiles again. 

Stiles groaned, toes curling when Derek sucked on the tender skin of his inner wrist, stroking him with intent. “Derek, I’m gonna- I’m gonna come!”

“Yeah,” Derek groaned, twisting to catch two of Stiles’s fingers in his mouth. 

Stiles gasped when Derek’s eyes flickered up to him, fingers still in the hot, wet heat of his mouth, and that was enough to send Stiles right over the edge. He came with a cry of Derek’s name, back arching so hard his head hit the mirror above the sink with a soft thud. The pain, however, was lost in the flood of pleasure. When Stiles started to come back to himself, Derek was already on his feet, pressing Stiles back against the mirror harder as he kissed him almost desperately. Stiles caught up and slid his shaky hands up to circle Derek’s shoulders. When Derek pulled back to let him breathe, Stiles just groaned, sliding a hand into Derek’s hair. Derek raised an eyebrow. “You okay?” he asked and Stiles nodded.

“That was great,” Stiles said, leaning in to kiss him quickly. “But I kinda was trying to tell you to stop cause I wanted you to fuck me, not warning you I was gonna come,” he clarified.

Derek’s lips curled into a smirk and he leaned in, kissing Stiles slowly. Stiles could feel the hard press of Derek against his thigh and he shifted, pressing his leg against Derek’s jean-clad crotch, smiling when Derek’s eyes fluttered at the pressure. Derek kissed his jaw, then trailed his lips to his ear. “I’m pretty sure at seventeen, I can get you there again with no trouble.”

Stiles swallowed hard, pulling back to look at Derek. “Sounds like a plan,” he said shakily and Derek kissed him hard, and he then stepped back and made quick work of stripping off his shirt and jeans until he was just as naked as Stiles. Stiles only had a moment to appreciate the fact that Derek was thick in _all_ the right places before Derek grabbed the backs of his thighs and picked him up. Stiles gasped and clung to Derek’s shoulders as Derek carried him out of the bathroom and to the bed. Stiles expected to be dropped to his feet but was surprised when Derek lowered him to the bed as he crawled onto it. “Dude, nobody should be that fucking graceful,” Stiles said and Derek smiled in amusement before he caught Stiles’s lips in a slow but thorough kiss. 

“Don’t call me ‘dude’ in bed,” Derek whispered against his lips between kisses. 

Stiles smiled contentedly, looking up into Derek’s eyes before Derek kissed him softly. “What should I call you, ‘sex god’?” he joked against Derek’s mouth.

Derek sucked his bottom lip between this teeth and mumbled his dissent. “My name,” he answered. “Like the way you say my name. You say it like I’m someone important.”

Stiles gasped, just a small intake of breath, and pulled back some, reaching up to hold Derek’s face in his hand. Derek’s eyes grew slightly vulnerable when he realized what he’d said, but Stiles looked him in the eyes and whispered, “You’ve always been important to me, Derek.”

Derek kissed him and Stiles could feel every single emotion Derek wasn’t able to put into words as he wrote everything he felt into Stiles’s skin with each kiss and caress. Stiles lifted his legs to bracket Derek’s hips with his thighs, making an encouraging sound when Derek’s hardness pressed into his belly. Derek curled his hand around Stiles’s thigh as he pulled away, making Stiles whine and reach for him. “Hey, get back here.”

Derek sat back on his knees and tapped Stiles’s thigh. “Roll over,” he said, and Stiles gave him an annoyed look. He smirked and leaned in to kiss him quickly. “Just trust me,” he said and Stiles grumbled, but did so.

“I’m not complaining, I was just really into kissing you at the moment,” Stiles said, resting his cheek on his folder arms. He closed his eyes when Derek slid up to cover his body for the most part. Derek pressed a kiss to his shoulder, hand stroking along his side soothingly. Derek trailed wet kisses down the rise of his shoulder blade an Stiles made a happy sound, relaxing more. 

Derek made a soft sound as he kissed another spot on his ribs. “I love how beautiful your skin is,” he whispered, sliding back to kiss down his spine, eliciting a shiver from Stiles. “You have the most perfect skin, all over your body.”

Stiles hummed. “I’m pretty pale, but I don’t mind it- oh!” Stiles gasped slightly and as Derek’s lips trailed down the curve of his ass. He had some idea where this was going all of a sudden. “Derek?” he asked shakily.

Derek gave an amused huff and stroked a hand along the back of his thigh. “Relax,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to Stiles’s skin as he kneaded at his ass, thumbs sliding along the crease. Stiles let out a shaky breath and nodded, biting at his lip nervously. Derek felt his anxiety and hesitated. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No!” Stiles said almost too quickly. He winced, wishing he wasn’t holding onto the pillow so tightly so he could slap himself. “I want you to. I want everything. Don’t stop.” 

Derek stroked at his leg soothingly. “You seem nervous.”

“Well, yeah,” Stiles said pointedly. “Generally people are nervous the first time.”

Derek chuckled. “It’s okay,” he said, kissing his lower back. “I’m nervous, too. I want to make you happy,” he confided. “So… are we okay?”

Stiles smiled fondly at Derek’s words. “Yeah, Derek. We’re good.”

“Good,” Derek grumbled, voice rough enough to send shivers up Stiles’s spine. This time, when Derek spread him open, Stiles still felt tense and nervous, but Derek didn’t hesitate. Stiles gasped sharply at the feeling of Derek’s mouth on him. He couldn’t help the way he jerked slightly as Derek’s hot, insistent tongue pressed against him over and over. Stiles whined and panted as Derek did his best to open him up with his mouth. Stiles was pretty sure being seventeen wasn’t the only excuse for how fast he got hard again with Derek’s attention. Derek kissed along the swell of his ass as he stroked one finger over his entrance, not pushing in but touching, almost teasing him with hints of pressure at time, but never pushing in.

“God, Derek, please,” Stiles moaned softly. “I need you to fuck me.”

Derek nipped at his ass cheek and then pulled back. “Damn it,” he said and then pulled away. Stiles made an unhappy sound, lifting his head to glare at Derek when he left the bed. Derek just smiled. “Stuff’s in the bathroom,” he explained, turning back to go get it. 

Stiles rolled onto his side, eyes roaming over Derek’s body appreciatively, taking in every single curve and bulge of Derek’s thickly muscled body. Derek grabbed the bag from the bathroom drawer and fished out the lube and condoms, bringing them back with him. Stiles rolled onto his back so Derek could kneel on the bed beside him, and he reached out, sliding his hand up Derek’s muscled thigh. “God, you’re gorgeous,” Stiles said, licking his lips as he slid his hand higher and curled his fist around Derek’s length, stroking him teasingly as his eyes flickered up to Derek’s.

Derek moaned softly at the attention, eyes fluttering before he pried them open again, taking a moment to tear off the plastic from the lube and get a condom out of the box. When he accomplished that, he wasted no time pulling Stiles onto his side, kissing him firmly as he pulled him close. Stiles curled a leg around Derek’s thigh, rocking up against him as Derek claimed his mouth. Derek pulled Stiles’s knee higher until Stiles’s leg was around his hip. Stiles grabbed the lube and broke the kiss to open it. Derek held out his hand and Stiles wordlessly squeezed some out so that Derek could get his fingers slick. Derek gave him an amused look. “Thanks,” he joked and Stiles winked playfully.

“No problem,” he said, leaning in to peck his lips. He cupped Derek’s cheek and kissed him slowly as Derek carefully teased him some before hesitantly pressing into him. “It’s okay, you won’t hurt me,” Stiles muttered against his lips. 

Derek sighed softly. “I don’t want to hurt you-“

“I just said you won’t-“

“But you don’t know that yet,” Derek said against his lips.

Stiles snorted, pulling back, only to snicker harder at Derek’s grumpy and confused look. “Derek, dude, you might hurt me some when you fuck me, but you’re _not_ going to hurt me with just your fingers, I promise,” he stressed. “Do you really think I never finger myself? I’m a teenager, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s exploring my own body,” he joked.

Derek grumbled and kissed him. “Shut up, I just don’t want your first time to be bad.”

“It can’t,” Stiles said, curling his hand around Derek’s neck as he looked into his eyes. “Because I love you and nothing we do together right here can be bad, okay?” He saw a warmth in Derek’s eyes as he smiled and Stiles grinned. “Yeah, exactly.”

Derek nodded and pecked his lips. “Okay,” he whispered and then he caught Stiles’s lips in a kiss as he pressed into him, sliding one finger into Stiles slowly. Stiles moaned into the kiss.

“Yep, like that,” he encouraged, smiling when Derek shut him up with another kiss.

Derek was slow and careful, taking his time to open Stiles up, continuing until Stiles was shaking and leaking between their bodies. When he finally moved to grab the condom that had fallen off the bed, Stiles made a grateful sound and rolled onto his back, flinging an arm across his eyes as he fought to control his breathing. When Stiles moved his arm, Derek was kneeling beside him, rolling the condom onto his length. Stiles groaned at the sight as Derek slicked himself up. Derek looked at him and gave him a glanced over. “You okay?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “If you don’t get in me right now, I’m going to cry, Derek. Seriously, I cannot take you sitting there naked and gorgeous much longer before I actually burst into flames,” he said and Derek rolled his eyes at Stiles’s dramatics.

“You won’t spontaneously combust,” he said as he grabbed one of Stiles’s long legs to move between them. 

Stiles huffed as he lifted his legs to accommodate Derek between them. “You don’t know how turned on I am after you teasing me to the edge and back- Oh!” Stiles choked on his words as Derek shifted forward and started pressing into him. He looked into Derek’s eyes and was almost overwhelmed by the amount of attention Derek had focused on him. There was only a small twinge of pain that made him whimper as Derek slid into him before suddenly it was gone. He frowned in confusion until he noticed that the hand Derek had clamped around his thigh had slight streaks of black skating up his wrist. “Oh hey, that’s pretty handy,” he breathed, and Derek smirked as he carefully bottomed out. He stayed there for a few long moments, letting Stiles grow used to the feeling before he took his hand away.

There was a small, dull ache, but for the most part, Stiles felt nothing but an overwhelming sensation of being filled. “You okay?” Derek whispered, lowering himself to his elbows so he could kiss Stiles.

Stiles nodded, shifting his legs until his knees were around Derek’s ribs, feet on his ass. “Yeah, you can move,” he said and Derek captured his mouth in another kiss instead. Stiles was sucked into the feeling of Derek on him, in him, and absolutely possessing him so much that it startled a moan out of him when Derek began to slowly roll his hips, gently rocking into Stiles’s body. For the longest, Derek stayed like that, just barely thrusting into him as he showered Stiles in touches and caresses and gentle kisses. Eventually, however, Derek raised up some, looking down at Stiles as he thrust into him.

Stiles couldn’t help the way he pressed into every thrust, moving with Derek’s body so that he felt flashes of pleasure with each roll of their hips. He curled a hand around the wrist beside his head and fisted the other in the sheets beneath him as Derek’s thrusts grew faster, making each spark of pleasure closer to the last. “Fuck, Stiles, you feel so good,” Derek gasped, eyes roving over Stiles beneath him as Stiles arched into him.

Stiles nodded, whimpering. “It’s so good, Derek,” he breathed, eyes fluttering shut. “Yeah, like that,” he breathed when Derek changed angles slightly. He arched his back more, twisting his hips just right to make explosions go off behind his eyelids as pleasure arched up his spine like lightening. “Oh _God_ , there!” 

Derek curled an arm under Stiles and pulled him up off the bed, making the angle even better. Stiles scrambled to wrap his arms around Derek’s shoulders as Derek sat back on his heels, one hand holding Stiles’s ass and the other flat between his shoulders to support Stiles so he didn’t fall back. Stiles rocked with every thrust up into him, fingers digging into the rippling muscles of Derek’s back. “Stiles, Stiles, Stiles,” Derek panted, face buried in Stiles’s throat as he moved inside of him in hard, deep thrusts, even if they weren’t fast. Stiles realized Derek’s control was slipping when he felt the hand on his ass grow clawed. Derek wasn’t digging in his claws, though, so he wasn’t worried.

Stiles curled one hand in Derek’s hair, the other still splayed on his back. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Stiles breathed against Derek’s ear, sucking the lobe between his teeth with a light nip that earned him a low growl. “It’s okay, I’ve got you, Derek. Don’t stop,” he panted, heart skipping a beat in its pounding when he felt Derek open his mouth and his fangs rested against Stiles’s throat. If there was one thing he knew, though, it was that Derek wouldn’t hurt him. “You’re okay, don’t stop,” he said, closing his eyes as Derek’s thrusts grew faster.

Derek lowered him back to the bed, face never leaving it’s spot tucked into Stiles’s neck. His clawed hands curled in the sheets on either side of them, tearing small holes in the bedding. “I don’t- I don’t know why this is happening, I’m sorry,” Derek admitted and Stiles shook his head.

“No, no, don’t be,” Stiles panted, though it was hard to think straight because Derek hadn’t stopped thrusting into him as much as slowed down to deep, long rocks, and it was still _good_. “Look at me, it’s okay. I’ve seen your face plenty,” he encouraged. Derek pulled back some and Stiles chuckled as he saw Derek’s face was still normal aside from his elongated teeth and electric blue eyes that flashed in the dark at the faint light lingering from outside. “You’re not wolfy, so there’s that,” he joked, then pulled Derek down to kiss him, careful of his fangs. “I can’t help I get your wolf side happy too,” he teased and Derek actually laughed.

“Only you would still make jokes in the middle of sex,” Derek huffed, but when he pulled back his eyes and teeth were back to normal, his control regained. 

Stiles curled his arms around Derek, pulling him into a kiss. “If you can’t be comfortable enough to laugh during sex, then you probably shouldn’t be sleeping with that person, in my opinion,” he said with a small shrug. He shuddered slightly as Derek’s gentle rolls of his hips hit just right inside of him. “Jesus, keep that up, though, and this is gonna be over really soon.”

Derek moaned as he shifted, thrusting harder as he looked down at Stiles. “The only way I’ve lasted this long is freaking out about shifting just then,” he confided, but Stiles shut him up with his lips.

When Derek reached between them and stroked Stiles in time with his thrusts, Stiles’s body sung with pleasure as he grew closer to his end with each second. “Oh God, Derek, I’m so close,” he panted, looking up at Derek, only to be hit like a blow to the stomach by how intense Derek’s gaze was on him. Derek was looking at him like he was the only thing Derek ever wanted to see again and it was _breathtaking_. He held Derek’s gaze as he lingered on the precipice of what felt like never ending pleasure that almost bordered pain before Derek gave a deep, commanding growl of, “Stiles.” 

And over the edge he fell. 

Stiles’s back bowed in an almost painful arch and his mouth fell open in a silent scream as he came into Derek’s fist, nails digging into the already torn sheets before he collapsed, panting after not breathing for so long. “Oh God, Derek!” He whimpered and moaned as Derek continued to fuck him through it. He curled his arms around Derek’s shoulders, shaking and quivering, but whispering, “Don’t stop, don’t stop,” to Derek as he encouraged him to follow. Even as Derek’s thrusts grew desperate and lost all rhythm, surely sharp enough to hurt a few times, he just continued to claw at Derek’s back and whisper encouragements. When Derek came with a shout of Stiles’s name before his human teeth clamped to Stiles’s shoulder, Stiles groaned and rocked with Derek’s thrusts, milking every bit of pleasure from Derek’s orgasm. 

They collapsed onto the bed, both of them clinging to each other shakily, their lungs screaming for oxygen. Derek groaned and Stiles hummed in response. Derek shakily pulled out of Stiles, who shivered at the sensation, and he fell down beside Stiles, sprawling on his back, absolutely spent. Stiles made a happy noise and rolled onto his side, looking down at Derek. “You look so good like this,” he said and Derek turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

“Like what, worn out?” he asked and Stiles grinned.

“I was gonna go with ‘well fucked’,” he said, earning a bark of laughter from Derek. He shifted and laid his chin on Derek’s shoulder, smiling at him. “I don’t care how stereotypically sappy this comes off as, but I really love you,” he said softly.

Derek smiled and pulled him down into a kiss. “It would only be stereotypical and sappy if we didn’t already say it to each other, but we do, so I’m totally free to say that I love you, too.” 

Stiles looked at his messy body and at the ruined covers thanks to Derek’s claws and snorted. “You get a cloth and I’ll take the covers off the bed. It’s warm enough without them,” he said and Derek gave a sheepish smile when he saw the ripped sheets, only to roll his eyes when he saw the lingering smugness in Stiles’s demeanor. 

When they curled in a tangle of limbs later, warm, sated, and so ridiculously comfortable in each other’s arms, Derek turned his face into Stiles’s neck, breathing in the warm, sweet scent that always gave him comfort, even before their trip. This time, however, Derek caught an edge to the scent that usually comforted him that turned his blood to ice. He closed his eyes and inhaled again, wishing desperately for the scent to be a mistake. 

It wasn’t, though. Derek closed his eyes and swallowed hard as he laid his head on Stiles’s chest, listening to his heart beating steadily under his ear to remind him that the sharp, murky tang wasn’t overwhelming yet and that Stiles was still there in his arms. 

As he waited for Stiles to fall asleep, Derek desperately reminded himself over and over in his head that even if Stiles’s scent had turned to that reminded him of the undeniable truth that he was dying, he still had time. The others were still working at home on a way to save him. As Derek clung to Stiles while waiting on him to fall asleep, he refused to even imagine the possibility of failing.

~

Derek ignored the way Stiles’s scent had shifted as best he could for the next few days. He and Stiles spent all day each day either out at the lake, relaxing out on the deck, cooking together, going to town to shop or get lunch somewhere, and making love late into the night after a long day spent together. After the shift in his scent, Derek had started, more than he already had the trip so far, to cherish every single moment with Stiles. Every time Stiles looked at him and it stole his breath, every laugh Stiles gave him, every beautiful inch of Stiles’s skin, every kiss they shared… all of it was catalogued into Derek’s memory because he never knew how many more moments he had to share with Stiles. 

However, the day Stiles had a coughing fit so bad that he grew lightheaded and lost his balance and slid do the kitchen floor, Derek was reminded exactly how precious his time with Stiles was. Derek was outside cleaning the grill, and he heard Stiles coughing – which wasn’t uncommon at all – only to hear it followed by a crash of breaking glass and a thud. Derek’s head jerked up and he rushed back inside only to see Stiles kneeling against the counter, holding his chest as he gasped for breath. Derek had nearly panicked, falling to the floor beside him, and Stiles had managed to catch his breath enough to assure Derek he was okay, even though is sallow skin belied his claim. 

When Stiles was sure the worst had passed, Derek picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. The fact he hadn’t argued was enough to prove he was feeling worse than he let on. Derek tucked him into bed, trying to ignore how being alone in the bed with his over-sized hoodie swamping his thin frame made Stiles look even more frail and ill than normal. He had left Stiles to rest and went to clean up the broken glass from the floor, jaw working furiously as he fought to keep his emotions in check.

After making sure Stiles was asleep, Derek went outside, going down to the dock to look out at the sunset across the lake. He took off his shoes and sat on the edge, letting his feet dangle into the water. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number he hadn’t called since Colorado. 

“Derek, hey, you haven’t called in a while,” Lydia said by way of greeting. “How’s it going? Are you guys on the way back? You know school starts tomorrow, right?” she asked.

Derek didn’t know that, but he didn’t really care. “Tell me you guys have a cure,” he said without preamble. There was hesitation on the other end and he crushed his eyes shut. “Lydia, _tell me_ that you’ve found something-“

“Derek, we’re trying our hardest. We have been almost every day since you left-“

“It should’ve been _every_ day, every _hour_ of the day,” Derek growled. “You should have me something!”

“We can’t work miracles!” Lydia argued. “Derek, the fact is Stiles has a natural illness and magic fixes magic! We’re TRYING! Danny and I have contacted everybody we possibly can! Deaton is helping us. Hell, even Melissa is helping!” She sighed. “Sheriff is getting suspicious. He thinks we’re working on something and he keeps asking Chris Argent if they’re leaving him out of the loop but we didn’t tell Chris because he’d want to tell Stiles’s dad-“

“I don’t care who knows or not,” Derek breathed. “Lydia… you have to find a way to save him. You have to.”

Lydia paused. “Derek… has something happened? Is Stiles-“

“He’s getting weaker,” Derek whispered, his voice pained. “In Colorado, it was excusable because that was a hard climb, but he’s going to bed earlier, he’s thinner than ever, he doesn’t eat as much, today he had a coughing fit that brought him to his knees, and his-“ Derek hesitated, eyes falling shut. “His scent is changing. He- he’s starting to smell like he’s dying.”

Lydia cursed and Derek heard a thud. “Damn it. Derek, we’re trying. None of us want him to die, you know that. We’re going to keep looking, if I have to go convene with that damn stump, I’ll do it, but you have to entertain the possibility that we might not be able to save him-“

“I CAN’T LOSE HIM!” Derek all but roared, shattering the stillness of the lake at sunset as his voice echoed across the water. He put his face in his hand and his shoulders shook as he took rough, heaving breaths. “Lydia I can’t- I can’t lose him, too.” He choked on a whimper, throat clicking painfully. “Not him, too.”

Lydia made a soft sound. “Oh Derek,” she breathed and Derek couldn’t hold down the gritting sob fighting its way out of him. “You’re in love with him,” she realized.

“No, I just fucking spent the past four months spending all my free time with him and went on a month-long, eight _thousand_ dollar road trip with him because he’s a friend of my pack mates,” Derek spat acridly. “I’m just that nice of a guy!”

Lydia tutted. “Derek, I know you’re scared,” she soothed. “I know you’re hurt and scared, but don’t get angry at me because I’m working my ass off to save him! You’re not the only person in this town that loves Stiles, got it?!” she said in a harder tone. “We’re doing our best-“

“Then try harder,” Derek grumbled before he deflated. “Please. I’m sorry, but _please_ ,” he all but begged. “Please save him. He’s all I’ve got. He’s all John has got. Goddamn it, Lydia, the two of us who love Stiles the most have nothing else if we lose him. Whatever you need, I’ll get it for you. If you need to find someone, I’ll find them, if you need money, I’ve got plenty. Just- just find a way to save Stiles. I can’t lose him. I just can’t,” he breathed, voice cracking.

He heard silence down the line and worried he’d lost the call before Lydia spoke again, her voice strained. “I promise you, Derek, we’re doing all we can. I’ll look for more and try harder. I’ll call you if we need help.”

Derek sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for putting this on you. I am so sorry, but you guys are the only ones who can help and you are the best leader out of all of them. Don’t tell Scott I said that, but it’s true. If anybody can get their asses into gear, it’s you. And right now, you guys are the only hope we have. I’m sorry for all of it but-“

“But nothing,” Lydia said firmly. “We are his friends. It’s never too much to put on me because I’d be doing this without your demands, Derek. We all need him. Just not as much as you and John do. Don’t apologize for kicking my ass in gear when I need it,” she said and Derek smiled.

“Thank you,” he said, then hung up.

“Was that Cora?” Derek startled so hard he nearly jumped into the water, turning sharply to see Stiles coming down the dock. Stiles snickered. “Dude, you must’ve been really concentrated on that call,” he teased, coming to sit beside Derek. He didn’t put his feet in the water, curling them beneath him instead as he looked out at the sun dipping past the trees. 

“Shit, Stiles, you scared me,” Derek said, rubbing away any evidence of the few tears he’d shed. “Why are you out of bed?”

Stiles laid his head on Derek’s shoulder. “I heard you,” he said softly. He slid his arm through Derek’s and caught his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Derek… I’m sorry,” he said and Derek turned quickly, confused. Stiles looked down at their hands. “I knew from the start that I couldn’t let this happen between us because- because you _are_ going to lose me.”

Derek flinched. “Stiles-“

“No, look.” He turned and looked Derek in the eyes. “I love you, Derek. I wouldn’t trade this month we’ve had together for an extra year, but the fact of the matter is, I chose to take the quicker and less painful route, which means I’m down to like two or three more months. I shouldn’t have did this to you.” He smiled sadly. “It was selfish of me to get a little while with you when I’m going to leave you hurting.”

Derek shook his head, blinking back tears. “No. Stiles, don’t ever say that,” he said tightly. “I would rather have one month with you than to have never taken the chance.” He leaned in and kissed Stiles slowly, putting everything he felt into the kiss. “And you can’t know that. You don’t know how long you have left.”

“I know it’s not long,” Stiles said sadly, pulling Derek into his arms. “It’s going to be okay, though. No matter what happens, we had this trip and nothing can ever take that from us.” Derek made a weak sound against Stiles’s shoulder and Stiles turned to kiss his hair. “But I think we should probably pack up and start back tomorrow.”

Derek nodded. “Yeah, it’s time to go home,” he said, eyes shut as he clung to Stiles, hands fisted in his hoodie as if someone was going to try and rip Stiles from his arms right then and there. “I don’t regret it. No matter what, I don’t regret it. Please, don’t you regret me,” Derek whispered.

Stiles smiled weakly, eyes burning. “Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATED TRAVEL BLOG! http://www.travelpod.com/dashboard/trip/1


	11. The End Of All Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...
> 
> THIS IS IT! IT'S DONE! AHHHH!
> 
> (Oh the FEELS here guys. HAVE SOME KLEENEX NEARBY!)

When Derek and Stiles pulled out outside of Stiles’s house, Stiles was relieved to see his dad wasn’t home. “Well, there’s one bullet you can dodge. Literally,” Stiles joked and Derek rolled his eyes as he got out to get Stiles’s bag from the back of the car.

Stiles met him at the curb and smiled when Derek handed it and his backpack over. Derek stepped up to him, lips tilting in amusement at how much taller than him Stiles was standing on the curbing. He tilted his head back and stood on his toes to kiss Stiles tenderly, hands going to his waist. “Being home changes nothing, okay?”

Stiles pouted. “Except having to sleep alone again after basically three weeks sleeping next to you every night,” he grumbled and Derek made an unhappy sound as he pecked Stiles’s lips again.

“Yeah, that does suck, but somehow I doubt it’s exactly _healthy_ to sneak in your room just to curl up next to you at night, what with your father being a sheriff,” he said and Stiles snorted.

“And here I thought getting home would end the ‘Sheriff Stilinski’ thing,” he joked. He sighed and pressed his lips to Derek’s forehead. “Thank you. For everything.”

Derek shook his head. “You know I’d do anything for you. No need to thank me.” He pulled away and closed the back of the car, glancing up the street. “I have a strange feeling I should probably go now,” Derek said and Stiles snickered at the fearful flash in Derek’s eyes.

“Alright, you big chicken,” he teased. “Hey, Derek!” he called before Derek could circle the car totally. “Call me tonight, okay? Or come see me if you’re feeling really brave.”

Derek cringed. “I think the phone will have to do for tonight. I like my balls attached,” he said and Stiles snorted, rolling his eyes as he turned and headed up to the house, knowing Derek was watching him all the way there. 

~

Stiles had just enough time to get his stuff dumped out of his bags onto his bed and floor when he heard the house door opening downstairs. “STILES?!” Stiles winced at the anger in his father’s voice. He had just enough time to shove the half-empty box of condoms under a pile of shirts as feet pounded up the stairs and down the hall before his door swung open and his dad stood there, looking half-pissed and half-relieved. “Jesus Christ,” John groaned, crossing the room in three strides to pull Stiles into a tight hug.

Stiles swallowed back guilt and hugged his dad back, clinging to him. “Hey, Dad.”

John pulled back and held Stiles at arm’s length, looking him over. “Well you seem to be in one piece, but _God_ kid, didn’t that little bastard feed you?” he joked and Stiles rolled his eyes, pulling back to sit on his bed.

“I eat, Dad,” he said, pulling his legs beneath him. “And don’t call him that,” he chastised, narrowing his eyes.

John’s face grew more angry and less relieved and he started pacing. “Oh I think I will, and that’s probably the best place to start,” he warned and Stiles winced before John finally turned from his pacing and held up his hands. “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!” he shouted, looking a mixture of anger, disappointment, and most of all, confusion. “Stiles, you’re not stupid and you’re not that rebellious, so what the _hell_ possessed you to run away for almost a month?!”

Stiles knew it was coming as soon as he started home, but he still hated it. “Dad, we need to talk, but you should sit down,” he said, gesturing to his desk chair. 

“Oh-ho no,” John said, resuming his pacing. “You’re going to sit there and I’m going to talk! You left a _note_ and told nobody where you were going! You _disappeared_ one day and I had no warning! Do you know I honestly thought that you were kidnapped and it was a trick letter for a few days before _Lydia Martin_ reassured me that you were really safe and that she was in contact with Derek-“

“Whoa, what?!” Stiles asked, head snapping up, but John couldn’t be derailed.

“And the only way I knew you were even alive is that stupid travel blog, and then you _missed most of the first week of school_ , which is not at all like you! You’re a good student, why the hell would you do that? No, scratch that, you’re a good kid, why the hell would you run away?!” John demanded, still not looking at Stiles. “God, other than attitude and getting into mischief from your damn curiosity – which is my fault, I know where you got that smart mouth and insatiable curiosity – you have _never_ been a bad kid! I mean, sure, I know about the drinking – don’t look at me like that, I’m not stupid, Kid – but that was so occasional you’re really better about not doing bad shit like that than I was, God knows I drank enough and smoked enough pot when I was a teenager that I could’ve fit in with Willie Nelson’s band-“ Stiles gaped at his dad and John just flapped a hand. “Not the point, the point is _running away for almost a month is not like you, Stiles_ ,” he stressed. He looked back at him and the disappointment in his eyes was _crushing_. “Is it Derek Hale? Did he talk you into it? I thought he was a better kid than I thought since I learned the truth, but did he convince you? What the hell could he say to make you agree to running away?!”

Stiles glared. “Derek didn’t talk me into shit, I asked him to!”

“Jesus Christ, Stiles, that still does nothing for his character,” John cried. “He’s a grown ass man, he knew good and damn well what he was getting into by agreeing to take a minor across state lines without parental consent! He literally is a kidnapper, Stiles. The only reason I didn’t call it in is because he’s a werewolf and I couldn’t risk that getting out!” He rubbed at his temples. “He can’t be that stupid. I know he can’t.”

Stiles shook his head. “I asked him too, Dad. I talked him into it. I knew he’d want to do what I wanted to do, and we decided on a whim to go with it, be spontaneous, all that good stuff.”

John collapsed in the computer chair and looked at Stiles helplessly. “What could you possibly have over him that would make him agree to-“ John stopped and looked up at Stiles. “Stiles,” he said in a warning tone and Stiles bit his lip, trying not to look as guilty as he imagined he looked. “I swear to God, if you forged some papers and eloped I will literally murder Derek Hale.”

Stiles gaped, surprised his dad’s mind even went there. “DAD!”

“If you are someone’s husband, I’m going to get a gun right now-“

“DAD!”

“I’m not kidding, Stiles, you better not be married-“

“Dad, I’m not married!” Stiles cried, giving him a disbelieving look. “Seriously?! Eloping?! That’s where your mind went?! I’m not married to Derek, I didn’t forge papers to say I was eighteen, and there’s no need to kill anybody, okay?”

John sat back and ran a hand over his face. “Okay, but I’m right, aren’t I?” he asked with an angry bite to his voice. “You and Derek ran off together for some summer romance bullshit, didn’t you?”

Stiles glared. “ _No_. It wasn’t about that at all. God, do you really think I’m that irresponsible?” John gave him a flat look as if to say, _Well you did run away for a month_. “Look, Dad…” Stiles rubbed his head, looking down at his knees.

“So, to ease my mind, you’re saying you’re not having sex with a twenty-three year old man?” John asked and Stiles bit his lip and looked up to meet John’s eyes. John’s grimace twisted. “You just said-“

“I said we didn’t do this for some summer fling, and we _didn’t_ ,” Stiles stressed in a calm voice. “And technically, it’s not illegal because the age of consent in Maine is sixteen,” he said simply.

John grumbled. “It doesn’t _matter_ that it’s illegal or not, Stiles, the reality of it is that he is a grown man and you are _seventeen_ -“

“And I’m never going to be eighteen!” Stiles cried as he jumped to his feet and walked around the bed, arms crossed over his middle. He heard nothing but complete silence and he turned back to look at his father, who was just staring at him with something between confusion and fear swirling his eyes. Stiles swallowed hard, dropping his head back as he fought to avoid tears. “That’s what this was about, Dad. That’s what it was all about. Not me and Derek and how we feel about each other, but about- about that.”

John looked up at him, licking his lips slowly. “Stiles. What do you mean by that?” he asked in a carefully calm tone.

Stiles walked back to the foot of the bed and sat down. “I’m dying,” he said and John’s skin lost all color. He started to shake his head and Stiles nodded, tears in his eyes. “I found out earlier in the summer that I’ve got cancer,” he breathed and John straightened up, shaking his head slowly. “I knew I didn’t have but a few months and I wanted- I wanted to _live_ before I die-“

“No, no, Stiles,” John dissented. “No, you can’t be dying, not like that-“

Stiles nodded, tears slipping free at the motion. “Skin cancer that wasn’t noticed until it metastasized to my lungs.”

“There’s treatment, and- and medications, Stiles, you aren’t-“

Stiles cut John off with a sad smile. “I am, Dad.” He sniffled. “I made Melissa and Dr. Bennings swear not to tell you. I didn’t tell anybody else other than Derek either, though now after you mentioned Lydia, I have an idea somebody told the pack,” he whispered. “I knew- I knew what chemo did to you and I remember how bad mom suffered and I didn’t-“ His breath hitched when he saw tears breaking free from his dad’s eyelashes. “I didn’t want that for me when I knew that all it would do is prolong the inevitable.” He wiped at his face. “I made the choice to take a few healthy months instead of a sick year.”

“God, no,” John choked out and Stiles nodded weakly.

“That’s why Derek took me on a road trip, Dad. I told him one night. I- I wanted him to promise to look after Scott and everybody when I was gone and- and he told me he’d do anything to help me be happy while I could be,” he said, smiling through his tears. “My friend Magnolia wanted me to come see her in San Francisco and- and Derek offered and then I asked him if maybe he wanted to go on a road trip, help me do all the things I could before I died, and he agreed.” He laughed wetly. “He’s such a good man, Dad. I know, I know you hate him right now but he’s up there right next to you in the ‘best man in the world’ running,” he joked. He reached up and wiped at his eyes. “He took me places I wanted to go, and he helped me when I needed help, and he tried to take care of me even when I didn’t want his pity. And he talked to me about his family and even took me to see where he and Laura lived in New York. All the stupid things I wanted to do, he didn’t shy away, he went in knowing he’d look stupid because he wanted me to smile and please,” he whispered weakly. “I know you want to blame him, Dad, but don’t make this harder for him than it already is,” he said, looking up at John. “He loves me so much, Dad. He loves me and he’s losing me just like he’s lost everybody else he’s ever loved. He doesn’t deserve this, and he didn’t have to get even closer to me, he could’ve just- just distanced himself to make it easier, but he let me have what little time I can have with him even if it will just hurt him more. So don’t blame him and don’t make it harder on him. He’s going to suffer so much and I know you’re better than to make it worse because you- you _know_ what he’s going to go through so please don’t be angry at him for giving me the most perfect ending to my last summer, okay?” Stiles choked on a sob and put his face in his hands.

John slid to his knees in front of Stiles, sliding his arms around Stiles carefully, like he was afraid he would break as he pulled him into his arms. Stiles hugged his dad desperately, sliding off the bed into his father’s arms. “It’s okay, Stiles. It’s okay, Son,” John breathed, looking up at the ceiling as he took deep, measured breaths to keep from falling apart. He had to be strong for Stiles. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, Stiles,” he soothed, rocking him gently, holding Stiles against him like he hadn’t since Stiles was a small child. “Dad’s here, it’s okay,” he breathed, gritting his teeth hard against the rage and pain that wanted to shake him to pieces. He was surprised by the _anger_ he felt towards the universe at large because he had spent every waking moment for more than seventeen years protecting his _child_ , the most precious thing in his world, and now, after everything they had survived both together and apart, the same fucking illness that took his wife was taking their _baby_.

“Oh God, I’m _dying_ ,” Stiles sobbed into his chest. “I’m going to fucking _die_ ,” he whimpered. “Dad, I’m never gonna be eighteen, Oh my God, I’m really never going to be eighteen!”

John’s heart was breaking more and more with every shudder that wracked the body in his arms. “Shhhh, I’m here, Stiles. I’m here,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

Stiles let out a pained, utterly devastated noise that went through John like a thousand needles to his heart. “Why is this happening, Dad? Why does this happen? I’ve faced so much, why now? Everything was okay, after so much everything was okay. Why is this happening to me?” he cried, sounding more lost than he ever had before. “I don’t want to leave you, Dad. I don’t- I don’t want to leave you here alone-“

“Oh God, Stiles no, it’s okay, it’s okay, God no,” John swore, shaking his head. 

Stiles’s body settled into broken sobs, pained whimpers, and a violent shivering that made John want to _die_ it hurt him so badly to see. “I’m scared,” Stiles whispered, as if saying it out loud was too much of a confession. “I’m scared, Dad. I don’t wanna die. I’m so scared.”

“I know, Stiles, I know,” John soothed hollowly.

Neither Stiles nor John moved from their spot on Stiles’s bedroom floor for a very long time.

~

John wasn’t surprised to see the loft door open when he got off of the elevator. He walked inside and saw Derek waiting, looking equal parts terrified and determined as he waited, hands behind his back in a clear attempt to _not_ look uncomfortable. It was hilarious, really, to see a young man that looked like a rough character and who John _knew_ could rip him to shreds in seconds if he wanted looking absolutely afraid of John.

“I’m not armed, stop looking so worried,” he joked and Derek did little to look less tense. “Come on, sit down,” he said as he walked over and sat on Derek’s couch. Derek eyed him almost distrustfully before going to sit in the chair across from the couch so that there was a coffee table between them. “Look, no beating around the bush. I came to talk to you about how sick Stiles is.”

Derek looked up quickly, worry leaking into his features under the fear. “Wait, did he have another episode?” he asked suddenly. “Is he okay? Why are you here then-“

“Whoa, Son, just calm down,” John said, holding up a hand. “What episodes?” he asked. 

Derek rubbed a hand over his face. “He’s got where when he starts coughing he can’t stop and he ends up curled up gasping for breath. The day we decided it was time to come back to Beacon Hills, he had one so bad he dropped some dishes and fell on the floor and I nearly had a heart attack when I got in there.”

John sighed heavily. “I’m surprised he didn’t start doing that earlier,” he said weakly. He looked up. “Okay, you and I need to have a talk about how sick he is.”

Derek looked up with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Not about me being a felon for real this time?” he asked, then clamped his mouth shut, fear flashing across his eyes.

John snorted. “Son, between that and my kid having cancer, I really can’t be bothered to care about that. Besides, as far as I know the age of consent is sixteen in Maine,” he said and Derek actually blushed.

“Oh my God I was talking about taking a minor across state lines, Stiles told you about-“ His mouth snapped shut and John actually snickered, eying Derek’s forced blank expression that was so far from effective. 

“Derek, relax,” John said in a softer tone. He shook his head. “I was pissed. I was ready to shoot you when I landed on the ‘grown man convinced underage kid to run off on a trip of debauchery’ conclusion, but looking at it from the side of ‘my son has cancer and someone besides me loves him enough to spend a month taking him across the country on a bucket list trip’ I really can’t be angry with you.” Derek looked suspicious and John smiled sadly. “Nobody who wanted to just screw some teenager around and toy with their emotions would treat him the way you have, Derek. And Stiles isn’t young enough or naïve enough to fall for something like that. He’s a good kid, he’s a smart kid, and he has a big heart but he doesn’t set himself up to get messed with. The fact you never tried anything before gives me all the evidence I need to see that you actually care about him,” he said simply. “And that brings me to the point of my visit: I want to know what can be done for Stiles outside the realm of medicine.”

Derek swallowed hard, looking away. “I don’t know.” He leaned back, looking up at the ceiling worriedly. “As soon as we left here, I told he pack what was going on and they’ve been looking for a magical fix. Something. A cure or a spell… anything,” he said weakly. “But I called Lydia after that episode and she still has nothing. That was four days ago.”

John leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. He looked up, a hesitant gleam in his eyes. “Couldn’t you bite him?”

Derek shook his head. “Only Scott could, but Stiles doesn’t want it,” he said tightly. “He doesn’t want it and he might die instead. The bite can either turn you or kill you, and as sick as he is, the chance of dying is greater than turning.”

“Well hell, he’s dying anyways-“

Derek’s voice cracked as he spoke. “It’s horrible. It’s… it’s terrible. The bite killing you is horrific and brutal and excruciating. It’s like every cell in the human body starts fighting against it and it starts to break down from the inside out. It’s- even if he didn’t hate the idea of being a werewolf so badly, I would advise against that being the choice of action unless it’s the very last resort.”

John groaned. “Then what can we do? I’m living on the freaking Hellmouth and you’re telling me there’s nothing-“

“No, we’ll find _something_ ,” Derek said forcefully. “We’re going to find a way. Something. Anything. If we need someone, I’ll find them. If we need something, I’ll get it. If we need to buy someone’s cooperation, I’ve still got plenty of money. I don’t care if I have to sacrifice a goat to the fucking Nemeton, he’s _not_ going to die,” he swore. 

John smiled tiredly, eyes more weary than Derek had ever seen. “Derek, you’ve already done more than anybody else. I think it’s time you let the rest of us share the burden. If we need any of that stuff, you and I and the others can do it together.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “I really don’t care who has done what, the fact of the matter is, I have nothing left to lose but _Stiles_. Beacon Hills needs you. The others all have friends and families and lives. I don’t care if I go to prison for kidnapping, I don’t care if I have to steal something, I don’t care if I have to spend every cent to my name, and I don’t care if I have to die to save him. We _are_ going to find a way and I’ll give whatever is needed of me-“

“Wow, you really do love him, don’t you?” John chuckled in surprise. He shook his head, rubbing at his temples. “Jesus Christ, why Stiles? Why him? Out of anybody in the world-“

“Why the one person that is loved by so many people?” Derek asked with a sad smile. “I’ve asked myself that so many times. If there’s one thing I know by now, it’s that life aims to fuck me over every chance it gets,” he said bluntly. “Clearly it doesn’t have any leniency towards you either.”

John shook his head with a sad smile. “No, not really.” He put his face in his hands for a moment then looked up. “I need to go check on Stiles. I waited until he was asleep to leave.”

Derek nodded. “I know,” he said and then bit his lip guiltily.

John raised an eyebrow. “Tell me you were on the phone and not climbing in a window,” he said and Derek smiled sheepishly.

“The phone this time, but if we’re doing full disclosure, I have climbed through the window before. Not for- that,” he corrected quickly and awkwardly. “Just… so you wouldn’t know he had werewolves in the house.”

John stood up with a bark of laughter. “Front door from now on, if you would,” he said and Derek nodded sheepishly as he followed John to lock up after him. “Look, call me in the morning when you’ve talked to the others, okay? We need to all have a little meeting.”

“Yeah, we really do,” Derek said softly, bidding John goodnight as he shut the heavy door behind him. 

As John walked down to his car, he glanced back up at the building and shook his head sadly. If he was right – and it seemed like he was – then he knew exactly where Derek Hale was sitting in all of this and he hated to see a kid who had lost so much already lose a piece of himself like that. Even if Stiles hadn’t been his son, John would’ve wanted to do whatever he could to save Derek from the same thing he’d suffered a long time ago.

~

When Stiles came downstairs and John was waiting with Derek, John was amused by the warmth that bloomed in Stiles’s every feature. “Hey,” he said in a soft, almost gentle voice as he addressed Derek, mostly ignoring John was even in the kitchen. John watched closely as Stiles walked over to Derek and leaned in to kiss him, only for Derek to turn his head so that Stiles kissed his cheek instead. Stiles didn’t look at all let down by the change of target, he just rolled his eyes as he turned away. “I’ve gotta get dressed before we talk, be right back,” he said, throwing a quick, “Morning, Dad!” to John before he headed back upstairs.

John saw the almost constipated expression on Derek’s face when he glanced nervously at John and he rolled his eyes. “Hale, I’m well aware you’ve done a lot more than kiss him, don’t get shy on my account,” he pointed out.

Derek cleared his throat and squared his shoulders bravely. “I was being courteous.” He hesitated then continued. “And I’m not sorry. I’m not going to act like I regret anything I did or didn’t do with Stiles. I refuse to be guilty for that and I hope you aren’t going to make that a problem,” he said, though by the time he finished his courage seemed to have faltered some and his nervousness was showing.

John raised an appraising eyebrow and chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ve got guts,” he said, then leaned back in his chair, smiling fondly. “But no, it’s not going to be a problem. As much as I don’t really like the fact you’re six years older than him, I wasn’t kidding when I said I believe that you care for him unconditionally. I’ve long realized that you’re a good kid, Derek. I don’t doubt for a minute that you would’ve never let him know how you feel until he was old enough if it hadn’t happened like this, and as it is, I’d rather he be happy and loved while he has a chance than never know how you felt.”

Derek looked suspicious still, but at least he didn’t look afraid. “Good. Just- just so we’re clear on where we stand.”

“Crystal,” John confirmed with a small nod. 

~

When they got to Scott’s house, Melissa was just pulling into the yard. Stiles gave her an innocently sheepish smile when she got out of the car and ran around it. “YOU!” She rushed over and hugged him. “Oh my God, don’t _do that_ to me,” she said, slapping him upside the head. “I should skin you alive, Buddy.”

“Ow, Dad already yelled at me, don’t you do it too!” he said, then ducked behind his dad. “Save me!” he hissed and John rolled his eyes at Stiles’s behavior.

“Oh you’re the one who missed the first week of school, I should let her since I don’t feel like being mad anymore,” he said and Stiles gave him a guilty grin.

“Um, nothing important happens first week?” he tried and then circled around and slid behind Derek. “Werewolf shield?” he suggested and Derek just rolled his eyes.

“Want me to hand him over?” he asked Melissa, and Stiles elbowed him as he passed.

“You’re a horrible shield,” he said, rushing up to the house. “SCOTT! BUDDY! YOU GOTTA SEE THE PICTURES OF THE NAKED OLD HIPPIES!” he shouted as he ran through the door, fumbling with his phone.

Derek and John exchanged an amused look and Melissa looked at them critically. “What’s with this? I figured he’d have shot you by now,” she said to Derek, and John chuckled, clapping a hand on Derek’s shoulder.

“Derek’s not such a bad kid, Melissa,” he said as they followed Stiles into the house.

Stiles was in the middle of a hug pile with Scott under him on the floor and Isaac on top of him, hugging them both as they cursed and wiggled around. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!”

“No I’m sorry I didn’t notice-“

“No, dude, it’s okay-“

“No really Stiles, we’re so sorry-“

“I love you guys, okay?”

“Yeah man.”

“Same, no homo.”

Danny cleared his throat from where he was sitting on the couch. “Not that you think there’s anything wrong with homo, right guys?” he prompted and Isaac gave him a sheepish grin.

“Nope. I’m totally pro-homo, just… you know, not with Stiles.”

Scott frowned. “Hey, why not? Stiles is awesome, there’s nothing wrong with Stiles. You’d be lucky to have Stiles,” he defended and Stiles laughed, rolling out from between them.

“Oh my God, no, Scott, Isaac doesn’t have to want me, it’s cool, dude.” He waved up at Danny from his spot lying on the floor beside Scott. “Hey Danny Boy!”

“Stiles?!” Lydia came in and stalked over, stopping with her hands on her hips as she looked down at the boys piled on the floor. “Stiles Stilinski, I should slap you,” she said and he smiled apologetically.

“I’m sorry-“

“Oh don’t you dare, you little shit,” she said, stalking over to glare down at him. “I’ve spent the past month working to save your skinny ass and you didn’t even have it in you to come see me when you first got home?!”

Stiles huffed. “It’s not like I _knew_ about that! Someone-“ He glared over at Derek. “Didn’t keep his promise to not talk to people back home. Or to stop trying to save me when I had accepted I’m gonna die.” 

Scott tilted his head. “You know, I never took you for one to wear boyish underwear,” he said and Lydia gasped, flattening her skirt flat to her legs before she kicked Scott right in the side. “OW! What?! You’re the one that stood over my head!”

Isaac whistled, crawling away slowly. “Oh dude you’re gonna die.”

Stiles snorted and sat up. “Alright, alright, no bloodshed in the living room,” he said as he stood up, going over to flop down beside Danny with a smile. “So, miss me?”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Terribly. You’re better at research. You could’ve saved us a good week,” he said with a sigh. 

Lydia nodded, sitting down. “We’re seriously at a loss. We thought about sacrificing another virgin to that damn stump.”

Danny snickered. “But we’re trying to save Stiles so sacrificing him would defeat the purpose,” he joked and Isaac smirked.

Stiles flushed suddenly and looked away the same time that Derek suddenly found the floor very interesting. John just snickered, going to sit beside Melissa on the loveseat. “Too late,” he muttered and Melissa raised an eyebrow just as Scott’s head popped up and he looked at John with a frown.

“Huh?” He looked around at Stiles, who was looking at the pattern of Danny’s shirt closely.

Isaac shifted to his knees and gaped. “Oh my God!” He glared at Derek. “You let him have a vacation fling?! That’s so irresponsible, you’re luck he didn’t end up in the bottom of a well somewhere!”

Scott glared. “Dude, that’s not cool,” he said to Derek. “You don’t know what kinda people pick up seventeen year old teenagers,” he accused.

Lydia raised an eyebrow at Derek’s nervous avoidance of anybody’s eyes and sighed. “You’re all such idiots,” she said and Danny looked between Stiles and Derek then smirked. Lydia kicked him and shared an amused grin with him. 

Danny whistled and winked at Stiles. “Damn, dude, you scored high, huh?” Scott and Isaac both tilted their heads at him almost simultaneously and he raised an eyebrow. “You realize you look like dogs when you do that?”

Stiles huffed and glared at his father. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Hey, your friends are idiots, that’s not my fault,” he said with an amused chuckle. 

Lydia nodded. “Yeah, you did well picking a smarter boyfriend than you did friends,” she informed Stiles, who looked up suddenly in surprise.

“Whoa, dude, I hadn’t really thought about it as ‘having a boyfriend’,” he said and Derek snorted, rolling his eyes. “Hey, don’t do the smartass eye roll, I’ve never been somebody’s boyfriend before, so zip it,” he chastised and Derek sighed, going over to flop down on the couch beside him.

“Why do I like you?” he asked and Stiles grinned. 

“It’s probably my pretty face because God knows I’m annoying as hell,” he teased before turning to face Lydia. “Okay, all joking aside,” he said, smile slipping into something more somber. “Lydia, my beautiful rock star, I’m so grateful that you all have worked so hard but guys…” He shook his head. “There’s nothing to be done.”

Lydia’s face grew stern. “The hell there is. We have worked for a month straight and I’m not giving up.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Stiles said evenly. “But I accepted it when I made my choice that I’m going to die. I-I just am,” he said softly. “Thank you for trying to help, but I’m not putting much hope into finding a magical fix to a medical problem.”

“Stiles,” Scott said softly. “We’re not going to let you die, dude. I don’t know what we’ll look into next, but we’re not giving up.” He hesitated. “Why won’t you ask me to bite you?”

“I don’t want it,” Stiles said instantly. “Look, man, I know you think it’ll fix me but I know the math. I might make it and I can probably learn to handle being a werewolf easy enough, but I’m not going to do that, Scott.”

“But why not?! You are the one who told me at the start that it wasn’t so bad, and it’s not now. You could handle it-“

“Or my body could reject the bite,” Stiles argued. “Scott, since- since what you and me and Allison did I’ve had dreams, okay? I’ve seen things,” he admitted for the first time ever. “I have seen what your body breaking down because your own cells are rejecting each other will do and I’m not doing that,” he said in a tight voice. He looked at Scott and shook his head. “I know more about cancer than any of you, I know what I’m in for, and I know it’ll be _quick_. I won’t suffer much because when I go downhill, it will be sudden. I’ll go into the hospital, I’ll be put on pain medication and sedatives, and I’ll go within a week peacefully,” he explained slowly. “I’ve accepted that. I’m sorry. I hate more than anything that I’m going to leave all of you, but the bite isn’t an option.”

“Then we’ll find something else,” Danny said simply. “We’re not letting you die.”

Stiles shrugged. “Look all you want, but don’t get your hopes up, okay?” He smiled sadly. “Don’t get your hopes up because it’ll just hurt worse when I die.”

“You’re _not_ going to die,” Derek said softly, sliding his hand into Stiles’s between them. 

Stiles gave him a narrow eyed glare. “You know, if I knew you were up to this crap while we were gone, I’d have been so pissed, Derek. You’re the one that’s supposed to know better than to get your hopes up. You know what’s going to happen-“

“I know that I will find a way to save you and I won’t apologize for it,” he argued in a low voice, speaking so that only Stiles could really hear him. “We’re not letting this go, so you have to just accept that we’re going to keep looking for a fix whether you like it or not, okay?” He gave Stiles a sad smile. “Let us try, okay? The consequences are ours to deal with not yours.”

Stiles sighed, dropping his head onto Derek’s shoulder. “You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak, Derek,” he murmured and Derek chuckled weakly.

“Failure will hurt so much less than losing you, so I doubt any of us will notice, Stiles,” he whispered against Stiles’s temple and Stiles cringed.

“Okay,” Stiles said out loud as he sat up straight. “Keep looking all you want, I’ll even help if you need me to, but don’t get your hopes up. Seriously. Just don’t.” Nobody said anything and Stiles hoped they believed him.

~

Derek looked down at Stiles, who was asleep on the couch beside him, his head in Derek’s lap, and he could see how tired he looked even as he slept. Stiles had Derek’s left hand held hostage, fingers curled together resting on his chest, so Derek stroked at his hair with his right hand gently, careful not to wake him. He smiled sadly when Stiles shifted into his touch and made a soft, happy sound. Derek stroked a finger across his forehead, down the slope of his nose, and he then traced the shape of Stiles’s lips with is forefinger before caressing his hair again. 

“He was always so beautiful.” Derek’s ability to keep calm was the only reason he didn’t jump out of his skin. He had tuned out the house around him and hadn’t noticed John in the doorway. John smiled at him. “When he was born, the minute I held him and looked down at him, I thought ‘Holy shit, how did I help make something that beautiful?’ and I’m pretty sure his mother thought the same, but he looks just like her,” he said softly. “His eyes turned that color so fast and he’s always had the gigantic doe eyes and long eyelashes. He always had the most beautiful smile and such a happy face and big, expressive eyes.” His smile faltered a little. “Then when Claudia died… even after everything, I think I was more scared than anything that he wouldn’t smile again. I know exactly how long it took before I saw him smile for real again. I won’t ever forget it.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the door casing. “For two months and six days when he was eight years old, he didn’t smile a single time. And then one day, I don’t even remember what made it happen, he looked up at me and gave me that big, happy Stiles smile and I knew then that the world wasn’t ending. I knew we’d be okay again someday.”

Derek glanced back down at Stiles and stroked his thumb along his eyebrow. “I know the one you mean,” he muttered. “I’ve never seen a picture of him as a little kid. I know I met him once, I just don’t remember.”

“You did?” John asked and Derek nodded reluctantly, glancing up.

“After the fire. He was at the station with you when Laura and I were there. I don’t think I remember more than blurs for the first week after the fire, so I don’t remember him, but he talked about it recently. He had mostly forgot about it, but I was talking about Laura and he said he remembered her from that day.”

John looked at Stiles in Derek’s lap. “He spent half his childhood at that station with me. Even before his mom died, he always loved to come to work with me. I know where he gets his attitude and natural curiosity from, that’s for sure.” His eyes grew heavy and he looked down, running a hand over his face. “Unfortunately, even if he got his looks from his mother, he also got her genetic mutations, it seems.”

Derek swallowed as he looked down at Stiles. “I can’t lose him,” he admitted in a tight voice. “I know he’s your son, I know you love him even more than I do, but I just… I _can’t_ -“ He swallowed hard. “I didn’t think anything could be worse than all the people I’ve lost in my life. I should be good at handling it. But with Stiles it’s just- it’s different.”

“Oh, Son,” John groaned. “Derek,” he said as Derek met his eyes. “Loss is loss. You’ve lost people, but that won’t ever make it easier to handle. And unless you ever have children, and unless I’m wrong, losing him will be the hardest one for you,” he said apologetically. “My grandparents died when I was in my teens. My parents died when I was twenty-five. Car accident,” he clarified. “I never had siblings so I don’t know what that one is like. But losing his mother?” John shook his head. “If I hadn’t had Stiles to look after, I don’t know where I’d be now. Without someone who needed me, I’d have lost myself in the bottom of a bottle fast because for a while there it was like every breath hurt worse than the last because it was one breath further from her,” he said weakly, eyes shimmering when he looked up at Derek. “But as bad as that hurt me, I’d go back and lose her over and over again if it meant never having to lose my son,” he said tightly, voice wavering slightly. 

Derek looked back to Stiles and his breath caught. “I don’t have anybody left to lose here besides him. I owe him my life multiple times over. Hell, the only reason any of the others let me into their pack is because Stiles made them stop being assholes and rejecting me.” Derek smiled and looked up. “Do you know that he held me up in eight feet of water once for two hours because I was paralyzed from the neck down temporarily?” John raised an eyebrow and Derek nodded. “He’s so much stronger than anybody gives him credit for, both physically and in character. We weren’t friends. Hell, I’d just threatened him to try and get him to do stuff for us. But sure enough, he stayed behind to save my life instead of running away.” Derek cupped Stiles’s face in his hand. “You’re right, he is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s not just his face. It’s _him_. Everything he does, every strength he has, every time he has never given up… it all makes him as beautiful as he is to me.”

John nodded with a sad smile. “When he was lying to me, it hurt so bad because he’s always been such a good person. He has more heart and more bravery than me any day and I didn’t want to see him lose that part of himself. I’m more proud of my son than many people can ever comprehend.”

Derek smiled wryly. “Even when he’s running off with twenty-three year old werewolves?” he joked .

“Oh, I don’t know,” John said with amusement in his eyes. “He’s smart and can read people well. I was pissed at first, but knowing Stiles, he wouldn’t have helped you out if he didn’t see logical reason to. And even when it’s about love, he’s not blind. Hell, look at Lydia Martin. I always thought he was the stupid kid obsessing over the most out of his league pretty girl in the school because of how she looked, but what do you know?” He chuckled. “Turns out he saw that she was a good, intelligent person under the façade.” He nodded to Derek. “And when it comes to you, you seem like bad news, but the longer I’m around you, the longer I can see that you’re a good person who’s just had bad things happen to him. I don’t doubt for a second that even if you weren’t a werewolf and even if you looked less like a Calvin Klein model and more like a regular Joe, he’d still care about you.”

Derek snorted, rolling his eyes. “Trust me, I got really tired of my face really fast. The only reason I don’t wish I looked different is because the mirror is the only place I’ll ever see my mom again-“ He froze, face draining of color when he realized that he had actually just said that so absently.

John winced. “Aw hell, Kid.” He ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily. “I’m gonna go to bed so that we both stop talking,” he said and Derek nodded tightly. “Don’t let him sleep like that too long or he’ll feel bad tomorrow. If you don’t want to wake him, I know you werewolves are strong, just carry him to his room, okay? He needs all the rest he can get.”

Derek nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Enough of that,” John chastised. “Call me John, Derek.”

“Goodnight, John,” Derek replied and John nodded, eyes sweeping over Stiles once more before he turned and headed upstairs.

~

They searched after school every day for three months straight. Every week Stiles grew weaker and his eyes grew dimmer and it _killed_ each and every one of them. By the time Derek’s birthday rolled around, Stiles was thinner than anybody could ignore. John had had to talk to the school counselor after she called him worried that Stiles was suffering an eating disorder and, when he explained the truth, Stiles didn’t talk to him for two days because he had avoided telling anybody at school he was sick, not wanting classmates or teachers to treat him differently. 

On Derek’s birthday, the pack came together to make dinner at his apartment and they spent the night together as a pack, even including the parents in the party. Stiles made Derek a birthday cake that was absolutely beautiful and, when he insisted Derek make a wish and blow out the candles, there was only one thing he could’ve ever wished for, even if he knew it wouldn’t happen. 

Wishes didn’t come true for Derek.

That night, after everybody else left, John not even attempting to remind Stiles it was a school night, Derek and Stiles made love for what Derek feared was the last time, slowly, ever so gently since Derek was so worried about how frail Stiles had become. Afterwards, as they lay in each other’s arms, Derek fought waves of dread as he listened to Stiles’s ragged breaths and counted his ribs as they stuck out through his skin. It was heartbreaking to see Stiles as he lay naked in bed beside him. He was _painfully_ thin and even his movements as he shifted to get comfortable belied how weak he had grown. 

For the first time in probably over a decade, Derek Hale prayed that night. He didn’t even really believe in God, but he prayed to anybody that might be listening. He prayed that Stiles get better. He prayed that Stiles stop growing weaker. He prayed to keep Stiles just a little longer so that they had more time to search for a cure. He held Stiles in his arms after he’d fallen asleep and cried silent tears into Stiles’s hair as he prayed to anybody listening for help in finding something, any single fix, no matter what the cost, that would save the young man in Derek’s arms from wasting away. 

But Derek’s prayers went unanswered.

Only three days later, Stiles started coughing up blood and running a fever and was taken to the hospital in the middle of the night when John got home from work and found him barely conscious on the couch. When Derek got to the hospital, the first thing he saw was John sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands. It was like a bad dream. Derek stumbled over and sat next to him and, when Melissa arrived, he barely was able to comprehend the words being spoken. Words like _pneumonia_ and _sepsis_ and _emergency antibiotics_.

By dawn, John and Derek were allowed in to see Stiles. Stiles looked tiny in the hospital bed. He was awake and smiled when he saw them, but his eyes were so heavy and dim that Derek was struck with the horrific realization that this was really it. Derek and John stayed at his bedside all day, not even leaving to go call the others instead of letting Melissa do it. Stiles’s fever spiked four times that afternoon and Derek spent more time than was healthy taking Stiles’s pain until _he_ felt like he was going to burst into flames from it. John sat and watched helplessly as Derek’s wrists were streaked with black over and over. When Stiles finally fell into a fitful sleep, Derek kept taking his pain long enough for him to really get asleep before he finally had to stop. 

Derek fell asleep with his head beside Stiles’s hip and Stiles’s hand in his, holding onto him like he was afraid someone was going physically take him away and, when he woke up, it was to the sound of weak, broken sobs from the bathroom. He didn’t need even lift his head and see him missing from the room to know that it was John who was crying. He didn’t hold any doubts that the sight of Stiles looking so feeble and hooked to so many machines was quite literally the embodiment of John’s worst nightmares. God knows it was Derek’s. If the others didn’t find anything soon, Derek had some drastic ideas that he wasn’t at all afraid to bring to fruition if need be. 

The first round of antibiotics failed to produce any results and Melissa’s face as she delivered the news was all Derek needed to make up his mind.

~

Derek hated returning to the Nemeton more than anything. For all the times he and Lydia had made remarks about it, he hadn’t ever actually expected any of them to go back. The memories for all of them were too painful. But there he was, standing in front of it. The cellar beneath it had collapsed after the parents had been rescued from it, but the stump still stood firmly. Derek even saw the sign of sprouting new twigs around the base. He stood and stared at it. It looked so unassuming. Just a big stump. A big stump in a forest full of trees that looked like they could be the same. But he knew it wasn’t the same at all.

“Alright. You win,” he said weakly. “All the magic we’ve fought, all the neglect you’ve faced, you big fucking stick, you win this time.” He stepped closer and reached out to touch it. He could feel it humming with magic even after everything. “Give me a sign that you can save him, and you can have me.” He climbed up onto it and knelt in the middle of the stump. He took a deep breath and pushed his jacket off. He drew his claws and pressed them against his forearm, willing his healing to slow so that, as he slit a line up his arm, his blood burbled to the surface and then dripped down onto the Nemeton, seeping into its lines and pores. “Come on. You want me? You can have me. Just- just save him. You can do it, I know it.” Nothing happened and Derek slid three extra streaks along his arm so that his blood began to fall faster. “Come on!”

“Hey Derek.”

Derek froze. “No,” he breathed, shaking his head, his heart pounding in his ears. “No.”

“You wanted a sign, right? I think I’m the kindest one it could conjure up for you, Derek.” 

Derek opened his eyes and looked up to find her standing at the edge of the stump, watching him. “P-Paige?” he breathed weakly.

She smiled sadly and nodded. “It was me or the other one and I doubt you would’ve wanted that one,” she joked.

Derek swallowed hard. “Why- why are you here?” 

Paige sighed and hopped up onto the stump, spinning around to face him with her legs crossed under her. “The Nemeton has no face to speak for itself so it was up to me.” She tilted her head. “You’re all grown up, huh?” she said in amusement. “You look so weird grown up.”

Derek actually laughed wetly. “I can imagine.” He looked down at his forearm and all the blood pouring out of it. “I’m hallucinating, aren’t I?”

“Not really, but only you could see me if someone else was here,” Paige answered. “Why are you here, Derek?” she asked softly.

Derek shuddered, taking a ragged breath. “I have nothing else to try,” he gritted out. “The Nemeton still has power. I know it does. It’s my only hope.”

She eyed him curiously. “You’re really going to sacrifice yourself? Here?”

He nodded. “If it will save him, I’ll slit my own throat right now,” he admitted readily. “If the Nemeton’s magic can fix him, I’ll give it whatever it wants, no matter what the cost.”

Paige hummed. “Tell me about him,” she said and then scrunched up her nose. “I can’t believe you fell for a boy this time. You were always the jock.”

Derek smiled weakly. “He’s the most amazing person in this world,” he said simply. “I fell in love with him because he’s _good_. He’s the first thing I think about every day and the last and so many times in between. He’s beautiful and smart and funny and he’s a smartass and I’m never bored with him.”

She smirked playfully. “Sounds familiar,” she said and Derek smiled back. She met Derek’s eyes and smiled a genuine smile. “I’m so glad something good happened to you for once, Derek. After me, and after your family, and after everything… it’s so good to see you find happiness. You were always so happy when I knew you.”

Derek’s chest tightened and he closed his eyes. “I can’t take it again, Paige. After I killed you, I never thought I’d fall in love again and with Stiles it’s so much more. We were kids, so I had no idea what it could be like to love someone the way I love Stiles.” He whimpered and shook his head. “I can’t lose him,” he choked out. “I can see him in that bed fading from me. I can’t watch the person I love die again. I just _can’t_.”

Derek gasped when he felt a cool hand on his face and he looked up. Paige was crying, too. She raised her other hand and swiped the tears away from his cheeks as she smiled at him. “Don’t cry, Derek. I hate it.” He stared in shock and she smiled wetly. “C’mon, just because I’m not alive doesn’t mean I’m just a projection, you’re smarter than that, Hale.” He tried to speak and didn’t find any words. Paige looked over his face and stroked at his cheekbone. “You gave the Nemeton life when you brought me here, Derek. It would never ask you for more than what you already gave it. My life went into it and it can only thank you for that.” Paige leaned in and Derek shut his eyes when she kissed him gently. “I never got to tell you goodbye, Derek,” she breathed before pulling away. 

“What-“ She cut Derek off by putting a finger over his mouth. 

“Go to sleep. Let yourself heal with the Nemeton. Then, when you wake up, go to him,” she said, smiling warmly. “You gave the Nemeton the person you loved a long time ago. It’s only fair the Nemeton lets you keep the person you’re going to love for a really long time.”

Derek opened and closed his mouth a few times as he grew tired suddenly, but before Paige could fade he nodded. “Thank you.”

She tilted her head and nodded. “Goodbye, Derek.”

Derek felt the earth tilting but before he could hit the ground, everything faded away.

~

When Derek woke up, the sun was up and he was sprawled on the ground next to the Nemeton. He sat up slowly and looked at his arm, surprised to see that there was no blood. He wasn’t surprised he healed, but there wasn’t a trace of what he had done. He stumbled to his feet, still feeling somewhat disoriented, and then made his way back through the forest to his car. 

When he got there, he felt a little clearer headed so he wasn’t hesitant about driving. When he found his phone between the seats, his blood ran cold as he saw he had upwards of fifteen missed calls from various numbers. “Stiles,” he breathed, his heart sinking as he was struck with the worst thought of all.

It hadn’t worked. It hadn’t worked and he hadn’t been there when Stiles needed him most.

~

Derek all but sprinted through the hospital, ignoring people’s angry shouts and cries of alarm. When he got to Stiles’s room, he heard John and Melissa’s sharp, loud voices inside and he wasted no time opening the door, terrified that something had happened while he wasn’t there. However, when he stepped into the room, the sight he found was enough to freeze time.

Stiles was standing beside the bed, trying to shrug on his jacket while Melissa tried to tug it back off of him and John tried to push him back towards the bed. “NO!” Stiles said sharply. “You heard them! I’m getting better, and that means he’s gone and done something stupid-“

“Stiles,” Derek sighed in relief, overwhelmed by how the words _getting better_ echoed in his head like a ringing bell.

Stiles’s head snapped up and Melissa and John turned to him, startled expressions on the adults and an almost murderous rage on Stiles’s. “You!” Stiles snapped, stalking towards him. “What did you do, Derek?! What the hell have you done to yourself for-“

“Stiles, I’m fine, forget that, what about you?” Derek interrupted, stepping up to catch Stiles’s face in his hands. “You shouldn’t be out of bed, Stiles.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes. “I know when you’re lying. What. Did. You. Do?” he demanded. “Why don’t I have cancer anymore?” he asked, worry filling his eyes. “Derek, please, please tell me you didn’t do anything stupid.”

Derek looked to Melissa for confirmation and she smiled carefully, crossing her arms. “He’s started responding to the antibiotics. The pneumonia is starting to clear up already. He’s going to be in here for a few more days to keep a watch on him and run more tests, because what had been a sure diagnosis of metastatic melanoma spread to the lungs is now being passed off as chronic upper respiratory infection that morphed into a really bad case of pneumonia.” She gave Stiles a long look. “No cancer cells in any of his tests. No signs on the chest x-rays. Nothing. They’re chalking it up to a misdiagnosis.”

Derek swallowed hard. It was almost too good to believe. “So… so he’s responding to the medication? He’s going to get better?” he asked almost breathlessly.

“Yeah, they think he’s gonna make a full recovery,” Melissa confirmed and Derek sagged as relief whooshed through him.

“ _Stiles_ ,” he whispered, pulling him into a hug. He pressed his face into the side of Stiles’s neck and inhaled, almost sobbing with relief when Stiles smelled _right_ again.

Stiles pulled back, still looking angry. “What. Did. You. Do,” he growled in a low, dangerous voice. “Derek, nobody found a cure. Over _four months_ nobody found one. Whatever you did, if you are in danger now, I will murder you myself-“ 

Derek cut Stiles off with a kiss. He didn’t care if John and Melissa were watching, because Stiles was _okay_. He pulled away reluctantly and met Stiles’s eyes. “We’ll talk later, I promise, but I’m okay. I’m fine, really. I- I’m absolutely perfect now that you’re safe,” he murmured gruffly, eyes flickering to Stiles’s lips. “I love you,” he whispered and Stiles sighed, letting his forehead fall to Derek’s.

“If you’re lying to me, I’ll never forgive you,” he said before pulling back some. “Fuck, I’m tired,” he grumbled hoarsely and Derek’s eyes snapped open.

“Jesus, _yes_ , I’d imagine so.” He turned Stiles and marched him back to the bed. “What the hell are you thinking, getting out of bed when you are barely turning around from near-death pneumonia?! Are you crazy?” he demanded, glaring until Stiles kicked off his shoes and jacket and slid into the bed.

“No crazier than whatever the hell you did to make it just pneumonia, you jackass,” Stiles snapped, glaring at Derek until he settled into the chair beside the bed. Stiles reached out and took Derek’s hand, biting his lip as he looked at him worriedly, searching his face for the truth. “Derek… promise me that you’re going to be alright, too. Promise me that this is over now because I swear to God, if you think about dying on me I’ll chase your ass into the afterlife just to bitch slap you,” he threatened.

Derek smiled and shook his head. “I’m fine. I promise,” he whispered, smiling up at Stiles from his spot leaning against the mattress at his hip. “Now shut up and rest,” he demanded and Stiles flipped him off silently before shifting and laying his head back against the pillow.

“I really hate you sometimes,” Stiles grumbled and Derek smiled sadly as a pang of memory swept over him.

Derek rested his head on the bed beside Stiles and hummed, squeezing his hand tighter. “You love me,” he whispered, and Stiles just nodded sleepily before his eyes slid shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with me through my first chaptered fic in two years. I love you all for reading along so far!

**Author's Note:**

> (Yes, I will be running that travel blog as if it was really Stiles!)
> 
> Additional warnings:
> 
> Stiles has melanoma that is stage four and has metastasized to his lungs. As is often the case with this type of cancer, there is little pain or suffering or even symptoms until it's too late. I chose to have him cured before it gets that bad, so there is no need to worry about graphic depictions of him suffering. 
> 
> Technically this fic contains underage sex. Stiles is seventeen and Derek is twenty-three, and in the state of California, that is illegal and is considered statutory rape. I really don't think you needed that warning, but there it is.
> 
> THIS IS FICTION! While many of the places they go do exist (actually almost all of them I think), don't expect any real accuracy. It's fictional experiences based on real life places and attractions. Sorry if it's not the most accurate but I've never been to any of these places. Also, fiction!


End file.
